


Choosing the Losing Side

by chocolatemudkip



Category: Campaign (Podcast)
Genre: Defector AU, Desert Island, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mild Smut, Multi, On the Run, Personal Growth, Podcast: Campaign (Star Wars), Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, References to Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008), Team as Family, That's Not How The Force Works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2020-10-06 02:53:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 40,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20499674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolatemudkip/pseuds/chocolatemudkip
Summary: Blue receives an order to terminate his alien colleagues. He's got some big choices to make.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vands88](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vands88/gifts).

> Many thanks to vands88 for writing such good ZeBlue fic! This one's for you, and for all of us campaignpod fans who are cursed enough to adore their awkward dynamic.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue must choose between loosing his closest colleagues or his successful career.

>>>

Blue's vision spins as he sprints down the hall. 

_Zero!_ _I’ve got to find Zero! _

Physical fitness--such as, for a purely random example, pelting down the walkway of an Imperial starship while seeking out your best-friend/bodyguard/partner/lover while fleeing imminent death--has never been part of Blue's expertise. He’s always been more of the "brains" of the operation; Agent Zero has always been the accompanying "brawn."

_Zero. _Blue finds his thoughts spinning helplessly away from him again. _Kriff, KRIFF! Gotta find him! Got to tell...before it's too late..._His stomach lurches, as though he might be sick. Only yesterday, the world had seemed infinite. He'd been arm in-arm with Agents Aava Arek and Zero to overcome the Imperial Gala. While it had been a degrading experience for him, it had also led to other, unexpectedly great revelations. Such as drinks, with people he'd call his friends. Such as drunken dancing upon a moonlight balcony, holding cherry mimosas in hand. Such as Agent Zero and himself: entwined in one bed, breathing in one, shared breath.

_"For the love of--!"_ Blue pulls up, gasping, shaking his head. His racing heart has something to do with running for his life; but also, equally likely, something to do with the memories of last night, and the mingling fear and arousal he is forcing down at the thought. Blue rests a slippery hand upon the wall for support._"No."_ he lectures himself. _"Not now!_ Stop, _l__ater..." _

But that's rather the problem, isn't it? That there won't _be _a later? 

> TO - LORD ADNAU WRENGEN, MINISTER OF PROPAGANDA  
FROM - IMPERIAL COMMAND CENTER; INQUISITORIAL  
SUBJECT - TO BE COMMUNICATED THROUGH YOUR OFFICE IMMEDIATELY
> 
> WRENGEN, RELAY IMPERIAL ORDER 45:
> 
> IN RESPONSE TO CONCERNS OF REBEL ACTIVITY (INSUBORDINATION, FRATERNIZATION, CONSPIRACY), ALL NON-HUMAN EMPLOYEES OF THE EMPIRE WITHIN THIS SECTOR ARE HEREBY TERMINATED. ACTS OF RESISTANCE ARE TO BE REPORTED IMMEDIATELY AND WILL BE MET WITH LETHAL FORCE. 

Blue draws himself up-all six-feet of wiry, skin and bones human-and sucks in another burning breath. _Does using your body always hurt this much?_ He grumbles to himself, resuming his awkward run. _If so, I'm going to raise Zero's paycheck..._

Before last night, that is all it had ever "officially" been: a _paycheck_. But the tension that had been mounting between them for nearly a decade now (_You want me. I want you. Let's not say anything_. ) had finally broken wide open. All those unspoken confessions _(restoring Zero's sight, supplying him with peak weaponry, upgrading his armor at every turn possible) _had finally moved past painful yearning and poured over into a breathless and desperate collision of bodies. And while it was everything that Blue had ever waited for, wanted...but the timing could not have been _worse_. 

ACTS OF RESISTANCE ARE TO BE REPORTED IMMEDIATELY AND WILL BE MET WITH LETHAL FORCE.

Blue knows, logically, that it would always have been fraught, no matter the time. Interspecies relationships have long been deemed unacceptable by Inner Core standards; and gay relationships-when Imperial bloodlines are required and expected to be procured-even more so. But it would never have been so risky as it is today. It had been dangerous, but not life or death, when Zero had spoken those words on the balcony, and Blue had sunk into the soft sheets of his warm bed. 

ALL NON-HUMAN EMPLOYEES OF THE EMPIRE WITHIN THIS SECTOR ARE HEREBY TERMINATED.

He is running out of time. 

Blue turns around a corner, and he hears the familiar sound of an airlock cycling open behind him. Fighting the impulse to look back and see the shadowy figure, he continues forward; at this point, mere seconds might be the difference between him finding Zero dead or alive. However, the crystalline sound of a light saber unsheathing does finally stop him dead in his tracks. 

"Blue?" a familiar voice calls.

Relief surging through him, Blue catches his breath. "Aava!" he sighs in relief. "I mean: Agent Arek!" He turns, straightens, smooths out his collar, and does his best to be professional despite the circumstances."It's quite good to see you."

_"Is it?"_ snaps Aava, striding fast towards him. The Zabrak woman is one of the only people in the galaxy that would ever put Blue at ease while holding a lightsaber; and yet, at this moment, she looks positively furious. And like she might use it upon him.

His blood runs cold. "Of course it is!" Blue says, with all the haughtiness he can muster. _Don’t panic! Don’t show your fear! If she's here to kill you... _"And where have you been?" He fires off the question as though he is not thinking about the way she could bury her saber hilt-deep in his chest.

She stops just before him. "Synox." she states, in a dead, hollow voice. "Tried to kill me. He's dead."

Blue finds himself slipping._"Dead?!"_ Once more, the static of anxiety threatens to overwhelm him."Sy is..._dead_?" For just a moment, he he forgets that there is a scary force-witch standing before him ready to strike down without hesitation. Instead, all he can think of is his Clone Commander Synox: bright-eyed, battle-armored, standing proudly in front of the Bluebird in all of its glory. "...What... _happened_?"

Aava grimaces. "He tried to kill me." Her fine, black-and-red garments are singed with blaster-fire, and there is a tear near the chest and shoulder. _Had Synox tried to tear it away?..._

"Oh." Blue finds himself saying stupidly. "Oh. Okay." Usually, he is so quick with words. But right now, Blue's not sure what else there is to _say_. Synox is—_was_—a man that he’d to helped grow. _Cultivate_. Synox was their teammate. He’d been with them on the Bluebird through so much, and over so many years. Strangely enough, in this moment, the vision of their last Life Day appears: Synox, Zero and Aava aboard the ship, making pancakes, and laughing. _Words, _Blue thinks. _Use your words. __What would Zero say? _He imagines the crestfallen look upon the gank's faceplate, the way that he'd extend an arm out to Aava (_"I'm so sorry, Aava!" _or_ "Are you hurt, Aava?" _Or_ "Force, how could he do that to you, Aava? That breaks my heart!”) _

But the fact of the matter is: Zero's _not _here. In fact, Blue doesn't even still here on this plane of existence. 

"Right!" Blue gasps, forcing himself into action. "H-have you seen Zero? I've been looking everywhere, but I can't seem to find him! He's not answering my comlink, either, and I can't seem to get a trace on his vitals."

Aava's eyes narrow suspiciously. "Why?" She asks curtly. 

Blue had not expected this. He feels his eyebrows lifting in surprise. "Wh--_huh_?" he asks, feeling stupid again. "Why _what?" _

Aava bears her sharp teeth at him impatiently. The flash of her fangs reminds Blue that, now more than ever before—she is an _alien_. And. Blue is _not_. Here, in this moment of terror and danger, Blue has the power and privilege to take action. During this time when his colleagues’ lives are on the line, he could just simply choose, as one who was born into human skin, to go on about his own, daily routine. It would only be rational, orderly and professional to turn them in.

"Are you crazy?!" Blue rasps, realizing what she is asking. "It's...it's _Zero_! I _need_ him!"

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Blue realizes that he might not have fully conveyed the intensity of his feelings for Zero in that phrase. While he and his..._boyfriend?..._had moved into the next stage of their relationship, Aava had not been with them to see what had transpired after the Gala. To her, he is still the same '_snooty little pip' _as he's ever been, out to get his renegade employee. 

Aava sneers at him, crossing her arms. "Because things are dangerous, and Zero's your _guard dog_?" She tilts her head forward, challenging. "Or because _he's an alien?! _That that _means __something_ right now?" 

Blue holds up his hands. "Yes! Well, wait, _no_. I mean--well it _is--_but, no, because..." He knows that he’s on a precarious line here. He knows that Aava is radiating pure fury, and that she will not endure another betrayal from Imps on this day. "Because he's my _friend_.” Blue replies hurriedly. "Because he’s _important_ to me. And because we have to get out of here, Aava, _fast_. We need to get as far away from whatever it is they are doing here as possible. Find somewhere safe.”

Aava growls. She does not yet look convinced. "You know _exactly_ what they are doing here, Blue. Don't kid yourself: they. are. _killing_ us." Her eyes burn as she points a clawed finger at his regalia. "We are being _exterminated. _Because we are non-humans. _Al__iens. _And the humans are feeling weak and afraid." 

He feels his mouth forming into a protest, but Aava jabs her finger into his chest. "Don't try to get out of this! Last time I checked, it was _your_ office that was in charge of setting the scripts! It was _your_ words that released that xenophobic agenda! You are in the middle of this, Blue, and you could just as easily be behind that order as anyone else!"

Ducking his head, Blue feels his cheeks burn with shame.Each one of Aava's words lands a blow, sharp and accurate, somewhere deep in his ribs. _("I was just following orders.." _the voice of Synox echoes in his head)_. _He chews his lip. _Had _he released something from his office that would have promoted this?...? _Did _he say something this morning to the Grand Moff that had suggested...?

"...I _mean." _Blue eventually stammers. "You've _got_ to do what they...what they...on some regard, I have to..." his attempts fade underneath Aava's gaze. Blue knows he can't finish his sentence and end up alive. 

_Maybe she's right. _

_"I don't trust you."_ Aava declares. The line of her eyebrows has drawn tight together, and the rage there is boiling over. He can almost feel the pressure of the dark Force rolling off her in heat waves. 

"Right, for sure." Blue says, squirming. "Might you allow me to suggest--"

This is the last straw. Aava withdraws her hand from his chest, and unsheathes her lightsaber once again. 

_"No!"_ she snarls, and her saber crackles."We don't have time for your sliver-tongue bullshit anymore, Blue! Whose side are you on, _really_? _Who are you_?” Her dark eyes bore into his. ”There's no half-ways, here. It's all or nothing." As Blue stares back at her, he realizes that the immense of death has stripped away her typical, placid diplomacy. He wonders how many days she has spent in the haze of this rage, unable and unsafe to express her true feelings of oppression due to the danger. 

_Oppression_ _. Danger._

ACTS OF RESISTANCE WILL BE MET WITH LETHAL FORCE.

Blue's mind is whirling. He feels as though he's dangling over the edge of some precipice, balancing wildly on the edge of some mountain he's always been afraid of climbing on for the sake of falling. There are _words_ that he's wanted to say, but not yet said; there are _things_ that he's wanted to feel, but not yet felt; and he’s spent so long _running_, repressing, avoiding, _obeying_. So long _ignoring, _tuning out, the fact that he is part of this machine...

“I-I think so?” Blue whispers. "I think I'm with you?" 

_"That's not good enough!"_ Aava snaps. "Not anymore. Today, they've taken the final step. Today: we're dying now, Blue! _Zero_ and me! You are the Empire's _Minister of Propaganda; a_nd if you don't directly take action, _now,_ then _you're_ the one killing us." Her cheat heaves with emotion. "It's. _Time_. _To_. _Choose_."

Blue is frozen in place.

He knows what he must sound like. He knows what he must look like to Aava Arek: always the petulant child, always a terrible loser, forever stomping his foot about a toy being taken away. He is very much human. And he could be, by any track record, preparing to hand over his non-human friends over to the Empire, just as he'd been ordered. (it tracks: Blue's proven himself, time and time again, to be cutthroat and ruthless when it comes to power.) He thinks of his office. He thinks of leaving Wrengen Manor, knowing that he will never have to return, thanks to his new role as Minster. He thinks of the people he's met, and he's overcome, out-maneuvered, or killed. He thinks of the mountains of paperwork, streams of software and holo he's managed.The propaganda he's crafted, programs he's designed. Of the Galas he's attended. Of the midnight dances. Of the engines he's destroyed with his friends. 

Of the tears he'd cried against Zero's chest. 

"Y-yes." Blue gasps, voice breaking on the word. _"Yes._ I'm on your side."

"_Good_." Aava says brusquely. She resumes their walk, as though this had been the most simple thing in the world for him to express. "Then hike up your pants, and let's get going. We don't have a _second _to lose, if we're going to make it out of this."

If Blue had expected some sort of celebration, he had been mistaken. Nothing has changed, with his confession; except that now Aava is the one who is setting the pace. As he canters after her down the hallway, he feels dopey and uncertain of what to do or to say. They pass room after empty room, not yet seeing the signs of struggle or hearing the tones of blaster-fire. Also, they do not find _Zero. _

...I'm sorry." Blue tries, wracking his brain to imagine what Zero would say to reassure her. "I'm sorry that this is all... happening to you." He knows that it sounds pathetic. But it’s something that Oni might do in a moment like this, and so he'll give it his best. And, somehow, it miutely works: Aava’s posture relaxes, and when she turns her gaze back upon Blue, it does not display that brimstone anger. Instead, it echoes the fear and pain that he is experiencing. 

"Thanks." She says shortly. "And, for the record? I was hoping you'd say what you did." She turns her gaze back, laser-focused, upon the long hallway. "Didn't want to have kill you today, too." 

>>>

The hallways seems endless. Blue is sure that something has gone wrong with the system settings now, because he feels like he’s endlessly shivering. And with every doorway they pass, thrown empty or locked, the fear in Blue’s stomach grows sicker and fiercer._(Zero! Where are you?!) _After some time, and several nearly-missed encounters with troopers, Aava pauses near a locked-down doorway. She presses her ear to the frame, growing quiet and still. 

”What are you doing?” Blue asks impatiently. _We don’t have time for this! We need to find zero..._But when Aava’s eyes shoot open wide, he flinches instinctively back.

“_Get behind me!_” she hisses--_just_ as the door _explodes_ into a whirlwind of _fire_.

It is hard to see. Blue topples backwards, pushed by the force of her hands and the impact of rushing air. It seems as though Aava’s body is shielding him from the worst of it, however, because he does not feel pain anywhere except his hands and knees as the smoke clears. Briefly, he wonders what he ever did to deserve her protection. He groans, unsure if he has broken or bruised anything, and things this might be the worst moment of the day so far. However, as the sound of a rough voice cuts through the smoke, he finds his brain grow dizzy with relief. 

“And_ stay dead,_ you _motherkarkers!"  
_

A tall, muscular cyborg steps out from the smoke. His helmet is projecting a skull-and-crossbones emoji, and there is a crackling vibrosword gripped in his gloved, cybernetic hand. He is the most _beautiful_ thing that Blue has ever _seen, _even in his dented armor, shredded tactical suit, and giving off the smell of burnt hair. 

_“ZERO!”_ Blue gasps. "_Zero._ We. _F__ound. You!" _

The bounty hunter whips around at his voice, a red exclamation-point jolting on his screen. _“Blue?!”_ Zero asks. Then, _“Aava!” _he shouts, hurrying towards the form cast down in front of him. He stoops to stretch out a hand. “_Force_, did you take the hit from my grenade?!” He anxiously skims over her face with his hands, checking for any vital injuries.

“Hey.” Aava grins. Even after the blast, and with blood running down her temple, she looks steady. She grasps Zero’s outstretched hand, pulling herself up to standing. 

“Hey.” Zero agrees, embracing Aava. She grips onto him tightly, whispering something to Zero that Blue cannot hear. The gank chuckles in relief, shoulders slumping gratefully. 

Blue has had enough. "_Hey!_” he squawks impatiently. It does not feel particularly _good_ to be trapped under what’s left of the door, and struggling to untangle his limbs from the rubble. Plus, he would _really_ like some of that attention from Zero. “I'm here, too! And can somebody help get me out here, _please_?!”

Zero gives a huff of laughter and moves over to Blue. He crouches down, mask-to-eye level. “You hurt at all, boss?” He asks, voice strained to roughness. _(Tiredness? Worry? _Blue wonders if Zero had also been calling out for him). 

_“Don’t call me that!”_ Blue snaps. But he still reaches for him, and he still sighs gratefully as the gank make contact. Blue rolls his head against Zero's chest, savoring the closeness the touch, while, while Zero lifts him upwards and pulls him free from the rubble. As the cyborg sets him down upon the ground into a standing posture, Blue _wishes_ that they had a few minutes to simply sit here together and breathe in the same space. That they could pretend it was yesterday again. However, it does _not _look like that is going to happen; because Zero is growing more and more tense as he looks at Blue, and there is a definite edge to his voice. 

"...What are you doing here?" the gank asks. 

Blue blinks rapidly, disbelieving. "What do you _mean, _Zero?!" He asks. "I might ask you the very same thing! I've been looking _everywhere _for you, where have _you _been?! You haven't been _answering my calls! _You haven't been _on our shared channel! _You could have been _anywhere, _I thought, maybe that--"

Zero holds up a hand. He looks over at Aava. 

"Is he safe?" 

Blue is confused. _I'm right here...Of course I'm safe?! _ But then, his gut twinges horribly when he realizes: Aava is looking at him as if weighing and calculating her risks. _Am I SAFE. For THEM. To be around THEM. _

"I guess." the force-user replies. "At least, it seems that way. For now." 

Blue looks back and forth between Aava and Zero. He had _not _expected things to go this way. With a thrill of fear, he wonders if Zero and Aava will be the ones to turn on him-just as so many Imps had turned on their alien colleagues earlier that day. However, when he hears Zero's long, heavy familiar sigh-that signature, resigned, _Why-do-I-have-to-put-up-with-this-dick-curse _kind that he gives when he is settling on something he doesn't like about Blue-he knows that things will be alright. 

"Fine." Zero says. "Good. That's...good." He steps across the space between himself and Blue, closing the distance between them.

Blue has the urge to open his arms for an embrace, and nearly does; but then, to his disappointment, Zero is stopping. Actually, he is swinging around, turning away to face rigidly down the hallway. Blue cannot hear anything, but he squints in that direction. In one swift, fluid movement, Zero draws out his and shifts it into action. "Aava?" 

"Yes. We've got company." 

The two aliens turn to face the end of the hall. Blue feels a thrill of fear as the sound of blasters bounce and echo down the hallway. They are combined with the clamor of shouting voices, clopping boots, and the screams of people facing incoming death. Beneath his hologloves, Blue feels his palms beginning to sweat. _Will we survive this? _

"..._Zero?"_

The gank takes a deliberate step in front of Blue, blocking the pathway between himself and the danger. "Stay behind me, Adnau..." he says softly. Almost gently. "...You're not built for combat." 

Feeling overwhelmed, Blue cowers behind him. 

>>>

They make it past the onslaught of attackers. Blessedly, Blue does not think that he recognizes a single one of them; neither their faces nor their identification numbers reveal them as someone he has worked with. Although...Blue is not sure what he would _say _if he _had _been picked up on their scanners. _Yes, hello, this is Lord Adnau Wrengen. These are my alien friends, and we here are defying the Empire's recent orders. _Although he thinks that his body might collapse any moment from the fear or exhaustion of it, they cannot not stop; and they do not stop, until they are approaching the docking bay of escape pods.

"_This_ one," Zero says. "Get in _this one_. I made sure to hotwire the system before--" 

“--Wait, wait, _wait. _We’re not going back to The Bluebird?” Blue interrupts, his panic rising. He’s spent so much time, so many dreams _(not to mention credits!)_ on his dear Bluebird. From the very beginning, the ship had always been with him. Even before he had fully assembled his _crew_, Blue made plans for crafting his fantasy ship. It was his brainchild, his _everything_. He can't leave it behind?!

Ignoring the look on his face, Zero continues. “It's not ideal. And it’s certainly not going to be an easy trip. Bur we _should_ have enough fuel to get us spin-ward of the nearest series of planets. I think that it includes Iloh, if I'm not mistaken.”

Blue turns to look over at Aava, wondering why she is not protesting at the madness that is leaving Zero's mouth. To his growing horror, she is nodding her head. "Thanks, Zero. Let's." She presses the wall panel with her hand, and her clearance level immediately provides them with access. 

"_Zero." _Blue moans. He does not want to believe it. 

This time, the gank projects an apologetic emoji upon his facemask. "Sorry, Blue." He says simply. "It's just not negotiable. The Bluebird's been compromised. We have to go this way." It almost helps relieve some of the pain in the way that Zero reaches out a hand and rests it gently upon Blue's shoulder, his clawed fingers giving a sympathetic squeeze. 

Aava Arek-who is _not _in love with Blue-adds sharply: "They'd be expected someone as naive as you to do something that basic. Now: _move it!" _

Zero's grip tightens upon Blue's shoulder and steers him into the shuttle. He finds himself stumbling into the small, cramped space of the pod, looking out at the dark, starry sky with unseeing eyes. _I don't believe it. _If anything could put the nail in the coffin of his old life, it would be a departure without the Bluebird. He even sees a glimpse of one lovely transparasteel wing as he is crammed farther into the pod by Zero following him. _Every piece, _Blue thinks. _Every bit of my old life, slipping through my fingers. _

Aava closes the door behind them. There is a low, shuddering rumble as the pod begins to engage for launch. "You'll get over it." Aava says calmly. "I know you don't think that you will. But you _will_." 

There is a burst of movement, and Blue feels himself being thrown back against the wall of the shuttle. He hears himself gasp, feels tears sliding out from the corners of his eyes. He watches the shape of the starship retreating around them, disappearing, as rapidly as his old life around them. As the ship grows father and farther away, he knows that he can never return to what he has known. 

"The Empire always takes what it wants." Aava continues. "Everyone loses something in the end. Some of us more than others."

Blue's mind flashes immediately to the emptied, baster-burned rooms they had passed on the way to the pod. To the alien bodies strewn over the floor, collapsed and broken over their former workstations. To the fierce, burning look that she had fixed him with in the hallway. 

"Welcome to the losing side, Blue. And losing...it teaches you how to _let go." _

The actual defecting itself takes only a moment. _(For the most momentous occasion of Blue's life, he feels as though it should be worth more.)_ However, it is done within seconds: as their escape pods zooms away from the Imperial starship, they have officially, irrevocably become _traitors_.

As he watches the Bluebird crumbling first into a fireball-and then, only into ashes-he _knows_ that he's lost every piece of his old life. Every bit of his influence, power and privilege...

...And _yet_...

As he feels Zero's hand wrap gently around his thin, trembling fingers...

>>>  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like it, please leave me a comment or a kudos to let me know that you’re reading! I wasn’t ready for swcampaignpod to be done, especially for the Bluebird crew.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue needs to choose if his night after the Gala with Zero was a mistake/one-off, and what implications that has for their working relationship.

>>>

It’s muggy and cramped inside the escape pod.

When they had first clambered inside the vessel, Blue had inhaled the fresh, metallic scent and had felt (_just slightly_) at peace. But now; well! That atmosphere is _long_ gone. At the present, all three of the exhausted defectors are crowded together without space between them—and each is sorely in need of a fresher. Zero is reeking of someone else's' blood. Aava has several melted, singed patches across her leather-tight uniform. As for Blue: he is keenly aware of his need for a shower, and that his high-necked, Imperial suit was _not_ designed for such warm, confined spaces as this. And, of course, on top of it all: their air supply is limited. Meant to be functional (not _comfortable_) and only serviceable until relief arrives, it is beginning to grow humid and stale in here. 

Not for the first time, Blue wishes that he was back on the Bluebird. “I _hate_ this.” He whines. His arms are crossed tightly over his chest, radiating discomfort. His knees are drawn up to his chin, dramatically exaggerating the smallness of their confinement. He regrets _everything_. “I hate this, _I hate this!" _

Agent Zero, hunched over in the seat next to him, snorts. _(It could have been passed off as one of those growling, guttural sounds that Zero makes while he is sleeping. But--as Blue is forever running an output of Zero’s schematics into his holo glasses--he is not fooled.) _

“Yes, Zero?” Blue asks waspishly. “Care to say something?” 

Zero replies with a noncommittal shrug. His faceplate remains placid and dark, and he is leaning his head back against the wall of the shuttle, as if he might nod off into sleep. _As if they are not on the run from the Empire. An Empire that wants to hunt them down and kill them. _

After the past tense twenty-four hours, Zero looks much worse for the wear: tattered and tired, worn down and weary. However, he is _very_ much _alive._ Which is more than Blue could say earlier that morning, when he hadn't known if he and Zero were even going to _see_ each other again. And only just _hours_ after the first time that he had ever been able to look under Zero's helmet, in an intimate way...had been able to trace the lines of his face...had _tasted_...

Blue inadvertently _shivers_. He is suddenly back in the midst of last night at Hotel Marihutt: tangled together with Zero, fingers and limbs desperately intertwined, sweat-slippery foreheads and knees knocking together. He can almost feel the wet, heated breath washing over his face, the catch of sharp fangs over his lips as they pant words and push _impossibly_ closer. 

He vigorously shakes his head. 

Zero is watching Blue. He lifts a clawed glove, flicks a bit of crinkled, damaged suit off his shoulder. “....Not much to say, boss.” he replies at length. The indifference of his voice reminds Blue of their encounter upon the ship, in that hallway where Zero did not know if Blue was on his side or not (_"Is he safe?"): _cold, detached. 

Blue sighs wearily. “I asked you _not to call me that_." 

The other man shrugs carelessly again. 

Blue chews at his lip. He does not _want_ this distant dynamic with Zero. It has only been a handful of hours since he had been his date for the Imperial Gala...had invited Blue back into his bed...

_It's too much._ Blue groans, dropping his head into his hands. _The Gala. The sex. The breakfast with Tarkin. The Order. The panic. The fights. The defecting. _It has been taking everything that Blue can do just to keep the image of Synox' crumpled, burned body outside of is imaginations; to hold back Aava's ominous words (_"He's dead. He tried to kill me.) _and to comprehend how close he, himself, had been to doing the same...

A familiar, comforting hand falls heavily upon his back. And, without thinking, Blue throws himself into the touch.

Zero take a sharp, surprised intake of breath as Blue wraps his arms around Zero and _grasps__, _reaching out desperately for reassurance and protection. 

For once in his life, he doesn't _think _before he acts; he doesn’t calculate, doesn't spend time managing his appearance or weighing what his actions might imply for himself or his friend, and what either of them might stand to politically lose or gain. He just..._gives in_ to his need; sinking heavily against the familiar heat, weight and smell of his perfect protector. There is a _rightness, _a physical affirmation, that something is solid and kind and _good _in this world, when everything else is falling apart. _Oni. _

It takes a moment for Zero to process what has happened. When he does finally come to terms, he slowly raises his mechanical arm. _“Ummm?_” He asks carefully. “...Whatcha doing there, boss?” He hesitantly lowers that arm, curling it snugly around Blue's back. Feeling both a palpable sense of relief (_y__ou’re here, you’re alive, you’re not dead, and I’m grateful!!) _and a desperate need for reassurance (_please don’t go, please don’t die, please don’t leave me!!), _Blue clings to his partner. 

“You need something, man?” 

He smiles and relaxes at the note of pleased amusement in Zero's voice now. Blue breathes deeply absorbing the familiar, blood-soaked scent of his _(former, agent)_ Zero. More trustworthy than his own blood, Zero is the most comforting, _real_ presence that he's ever known. In so many ways, this incredibly dangerous assassin has provided Blue with impossibly tender protection. Now, all Blue wants is to seek it from within his arms. _Yes,_ Blue thinks. _Yes, Zero: I hate this place. I’m scared. And I’m worried. I have no idea what to do between...you and I. And I have no idea...what comes next for us. __As a crew. As defectors. __You, me and Aava: we are running head-first down a path of disaster. __And I have no tools, no genius plans, to guide us through it._

But what he says with his mouth is: “I’m _tired.”_

Zero gives a deep, unconvinced sigh; and yet, he does not let Blue go. The arm wrapped around his back is radiating warmth, and it has now settled comfortably around the space just under his ribs, above his waist, as if keeping him from spiraling away into space. Gratefully, Blue pushes his face into the intersection between Zero’s shoulder and armpit, and huffs in a deep, shaking breath._ SAFE._ Why_ haven't I done this before? _

They stay here for some time, until Zero interrupts softly: “...Are you sure? Because, Blue...you don’t..._seem okay _to me." 

He cringes inwardly. He _doesn’t_ want to _deal with this_. He doesn’t want to ‘unpack’ the emotions that he’s been carrying around _(I love you, I want you, I have done for ages)_ and he doesn’t want to ‘face’ the grim reality of their current situation _(We’ve done it, we’ve defected, we’ve lost everything.)_ It’s just so much easier to sit here in the quiet, resting against Zero, and block out everything else around them. _Yeah! __L__et’s just do that! _

But the huff of Aava's irate breath reminds Blue of that impossibility. 

He blinks one eye open. The Force-user is sitting across the escape shuttle from them, one leg crossed over the other. She is shrouded in darkness, but Blue can read impatience in her posture. Her eyes are closed, but she seems very attuned to the tender words and attentions that Zero is paying to Blue. _So much for keeping things on the D-L. _But...more importantly..._she doesn't seem to like it. _Not one bit. 

Zero seems to have noticed now, too. "Aav?” he replies cautiously. 

_“Zero.” _Something in Aava's tone bites.

“...What’s bothering you?” The bodyguard replies hesitantly. 

Aava makes a scoffing sound, as though she doesn't believe him. She gracefully switches the cross of her legs. Internally, Blue marvels at Zero _(A strange question! What isn’t bothering us right now?! Dying in a shuttle; running short on oxygen; being hunted down and killed by the Grand Moff; knowing what it looks like to stick a lightsaber through Synox' chest--) _The last thought leaves him unintentionally whimpering, and Zero pulls him even more tightly to his side. 

"Easy, bud." Zero says gently. 

Aava sniffs. “So. It’s _H__appening_, then?” her tone is icy. Blue peeks further from his shelter inside of Zero's hold, foreboding growing. A fight between Aava and Zero _never_ goes well...

“Is..._T__his_ happening?” Zero asks weakly. At first, Blue is confused; he can’t see Zero's face. But then, he _can_ feel that Zero is gesturing with his other arm; and that he is pointing at _himself._ And _Blue_. "You mean, this? Right here?" 

Aava opens her eyes. They are _stormy. _“Don't play games with me, _Zero_." 

Zero inhales deeply. With an attempt at levity, he waves to where Blue is clinging to him, still doing a fair imitation of a space barnacle. “Well! As you can see...” His voice is distinctly uncomfortable. “I mean, you’re seeing what I’m seeing, _r__ight_? So I guess...”He laughs tightly. When Aava doesn’t join in, he trails off. _“Ahem...” _

When Zero looks down at Blue's hold purposefully, he suddenly realizes what is about to happen. An acute, irrational sense of fear lurches through him: _I finally get to touch him, and now they are going to say that I can't?! _Panicking, Blue digs his fingernails deeper into Zero’s tactical suit, willing himself to hold on for dear life. _No! You can’t make me let go!_

With a long-suffering sigh, Zero slowly begins to peel Blue away. It’s a bit pathetic, really; he is ten times more dexterous than Blue, and a _million_ times stronger. So as the gank slowly and meticulously extracts himself from Blue’s grip, he tries not to whimper and clench at the empty air. _Lost. _

“Z-zero?” he whines. _Words. Words! Your domain!_ _Get what you want! _“What am I missing?"From the tension of his hands, Blue has the instinct that Zero is probably wincing away. “What are you two talking about?" 

Zero grimaces at Aava. “We’re..._getting there.”_ he replies to her sheepishly. Apparently this is not the right answer, because Aava outright _hisses._

“_Getting_ there?" She spits back at him. "Or just _getting some_, Zero!?” 

Blue doesn't understand why Aava is so angry; and that gives him exactly one extra second before he realizes the implications of what she has just said to them. In is brain, a small moon is exploding--_HOW? WHAT?! WHO!?!? DID ZERO?!!--_ Urgently he looks back and forth between them, feeling a scalding heat flooding over his face. _Did she just say...did Zero tell...? _

“Sorta _both?_” Zero weakly admits.

Blue is horrified_. _

_Force. We...we ARE talking about...THIS._

Aava Arek, it seems, is mutually disturbed.

"_Both?!” _she snarls. At this point, she's not even pretending to be her usual, polite self. Her canines are drawn long and fierce, and she looks as though she might punch through the wall of the flimsy pod. “Are you really going to just _give in_ like that, Zero?” She demands angrily. “After _everything_ that he put you through? After _all_ that we—all that _you_—have been working towards?!”

Blue feels outraged. Not only has Aava somehow found out about his recent liaison with Zero, but she _somehow_ has the gall to, feels _entitled_ to, to, to _disapprove_ of their choices! As if she somehow morally above all of this?! As if she didn't hook up with Tryst _KRIFFING_ _Valentine?!?!?! _“Now, see here Arek--” he begins with bruised dignity; but immediately pulls back. Her eyes are ablaze, and that lethal look from the ship has returned to them. 

"_Zero?" _She demands. 

"We're..." Zero shifts uncomfortably. "We're _working on it." _To Blue's surprise, he seems rather shy. 

Aava's chest swells. 

“We _are!”_ Zero protests, a sweatdrop emoji dancing across his visor. “He’s not a just a _kid__, _Aava!” 

That sinking, humiliated feeling is returning back to Blue. That feeling from the Gala, in which he actually _is_ just a kid; small and incompetent. _They are talking about me, _Blue realizes. _As if I am not even here. _Sure, he's never been one to excel in the social-emotional realm, but at leas he tries_. _And he hates it when people think that he doesn't; that he doesn't and can't see emotions, or even care. _How could anyone in their right mind think that I don't _care _about Zero? That I would ever, intentionally try to hurt him? _

Aava releases a heavy sigh.

"_Look." _she says wearily. "Zero: I'm _sorry._ Okay? I'm sorry that I didn't stay and..._run interference_ for you. I'm sorry that I didn't stick around after the Gala. That wasn't cool of me, after our pact. But this whole..." She flicks a clawed, hand at Blue. "..._Relationship _thing?! It has been nothing but _pain_ for you since the beginning! I just want what's best for you, sweetheart." 

Blue grits his teeth.

_S__o. My whole relationship to Zero is PAIN, _ _is it? _He looks to Zero to watch his denial-but instead, horribly, finds himself watching a kind of..._confirmation _there. In the way that Zero's body language relays the truth of it: weariness, apprehension, angst, self-denial. _Years _of wanting, but never having, that seem to weigh upon the lines of his body. _Years _of being held back at arms' length. A series of ellipses scrolls across his screen, and Zero shrugs in that that careless, dismissive way that he does when he’s given up. 

Blue's heart _twists_. 

_Okay_. So the _is _going to have to talk about emotions and feelings. And, as much as he wants to avoid it, he can sense that this is a critical turning point in his relationship with Zero. That he _has _to take responsibility here, or something bigger, much worse than what has happened already, will happen next; that they will _break, _and cannot go back. As if impacted by the magical, best-possible roll of the dice-gods, Blue reflects back upon his friends' words from last night: _(Didn’t you learn your lesson? The ‘you were a dick to Zero earlier lesson?’...__“Why am I doing this, Blue? You tell me. Cause...cause it’s not worth the paycheck”)._ As they ring through his ears, he realizes that something, _something _must change here. 

And he has to be the one to own this.

Aava is holding Zero's hands in front of her now. She no longer looks angry. Zero is pleading with her, _“No! _Listen, Aav, it’s _not_ your fault; and it’s _certainly _not your responsibility!” He squeezes her hands within his own. “I know that you’ve always got my back, but, this isn't on you. And: you've _got _to let it be my choice! I'm a big boy: I can make some of my own decisions! _Even _when they are the ones that you think aren't good enough!" 

Aava laughs. It has a bitterness, but also, a heartbreaking fondness. “The _worst!" _She agrees. "The worst possible decisions, Zero! _Force!_" 

“Fine! The worst! _Whatever!” _Zero agrees. “But I can _handle_ this, Aav. When we made our arrangement, I was low--you _know _that.But it _never _intended for it to be indefinite. I just needed help getting through another day!" 

Aava groans. “You were _infatuated_. You're _still _infatuated! You were thinking stupid _then_, and you’re thinking stupid _now_.”

_”I’m not stupid!” _

_“Y_our decisions are sure _hella questionable!_”

Blue frowns between them. _What sort of arrangement?..._He thinks of Aava interrupting the two of them with her three cups of kaff. Of inserting herself into their intimate conversation on the moonlit rooftop, just as he and Zero were getting somewhere. _Had Zero asked her to help keep Blue from getting too close to him? Because...because..._

“I can make my own decisions.” Zero repeats softly. “ I _have _to. Even if I’m an idiot. The greatest idiot in all of the galaxy.” 

Aava releases his hands. “Zero. _Honey_. Even if I can't stop you from making decisions, I can still ask you to reconsider. Just because you two managed to find the right opening doesn’t mean that everything up until now is okay. _Okay_?” 

When Zero projects a series of exclamation points across his mask, Blue is certain that they are going to start fighting again. However, to his great surprise, Zero starts _laughing. _And, within moments, Aava Arek is laughing, too. Suddenly, the two are falling towards each other and into a tearful, giggling hug, and Blue has _no idea _what to do in this moment. “_Opening!"_ Zero gasps. “Find the right opening--_Aava--_You _shouldn’t_ have said!” Aava looks like she has tears in her eyes _(Impatience? Anger? Affection?)_ as she repeats to him "_You idiot! You idiot!" _

There is some kind of emotion holding Blue's throat hostage. All bonding aside, he _knows_ what he still has to do. So he steels himself for it and clears his throat. 

"Excuse me." he begins.

When his friends fail to listen, Blue grits his teeth. (_Patience has never been his virtue). _

_"EXCUSE ME?!"_

The shrill, commanding tone of his voice is what does it. Blue cringes inwardly; but there is _no going back._ He is _done_ wading through the mirk of pretending. He is _ready_, no matter _what_ Aava, or other people think of him, to make a few things about his feelings for Zero _perfectly_ clear.

“Arek, if you have said _quite_ enough, I have something to say.” 

Zero and Aava finally break apart. Zero coughs, and taps at some gears in his helmet to adjusts_ the environmental settings. _Aava wipes at one dark, running eye. They both look at him. “Fine?” 

_“Fine.” _ Blue agrees. “Now that I have your _permission_…” 

They stare at him expectantly. _Ah. What to say? Where to begin? _Blue takes a deep breath. He calls upon the cool, dread composure that he so often used to shut down a complex Imperial business situation. “First of all,” Blue proclaims: “I do not appreciate the two of you having conversations in front of me, as though I am to emotionally stunted to understand what all of this is about." 

Aava rolls her eyes. Zero mutters, “Sorry, boss.” 

“Yes! _Yes,_ and _that!_” Blue snaps. “_Second_ of all!" He points an accusatory finger at Zero. “We already talked about this! _Don’t _call me that!” Aava looks mildly surprised. “N-not...not anymore_.” _Blue pushes forward, swallowing thickly. _His composure is slipping. Too terse, too tense. He's got to move fast. _"Not after..._us." _He flushes, drops his gaze down to the floor. When he finally plucks up the courage to look back, Zero is wearing a beating heart emoji on his faceplate. _Keep going_. 

“Oh-Kay. Thirdly, and _finally._” He inhales. Exhales. “Agent Arek: it has come to my attention that you are invested in what my Agent, Zero, does or does not do outside of my employment. However, I think you will find that we are having a misunderstanding." Blue knots his hands.“I have heard your concerns, and while I do _not_ find it appropriate that you have expressed them under these circumstances—“ he pauses to gesture around them at the rapidly-deteriorating pod, “--Allow me to make myself _perfectly clear.”_

Aava raises one, skeptical eyebrow.

“Agent Zero is..._no longer_ my bodyguard. He is _not_ my employee. As of late...or, rather, as of a _long _time...he is my _friend_. My _best_ friend. And--as you so unartfully pointed out earlier--he is also now my _lover._”

The silence is deafening. Blue is not ready to face Aava’s disgust or Zero’s rejection, so he forces himself onward. 

“A-as an agent who frequently operates on her own agenda,” he continues shakily, “And as someone who is accustomed to the behaviors expected of the Inner Core: _Yes._ I _do_ regret to inform you that we _are_ in a romantic, inter-species relationship. And it _is_ a very serious breach of our protocol. _However--" _The lump in his throat is growing unbearable. _Finish it!_ “--_However_. As of a few hours ago, we are _no longer_ employees of the Empire. We have _defected_. And, as such, we are _not_ obligated to adhere to such antiquated, conservative standards." 

The air in the room is changing. Blue's heart is pounding in his chest. He feels bead of sweat dripping down his brow. He still doesn't dare to open his eyes. 

"A-as such," he finishes, pushing out the final breath and bravery: "If you d-don't like us together, Arek? T-then. You can kindly. _Fuck. Off._” 

It’s _liberating. _The former minister of propaganda exhales. It feels as though a great weight has been sloughed off of his shoulders. Even though he dreads hearing the words that the others might say in responce, Blue knows that he has finally, _finally _been released from the expectations of the Empire. And that, in speaking these words, he has finally declared his feelings for Zero; that he can finally start something with him that is better, more honest, and _good. _

When he cannot bear the silence any longer, Blue opens his eyes. _Did I just make a massive space-ass out of myself? _

To his greatsurprise, he encounters something that makes him forget everything else entirely_:_ the two people whom he loves most in the galaxy gazing back at him with..._affection_. Forgiveness. Blue is _used_ to being stared at with annoyance, impatience, even outright hostility--but _never _in a way that makes his chest tight and heart ache; as if he has done something _right. _As if he has _fixed a thing. _As if he belongs, and is accepted.

It makes his body and mind melt with relief.

“U-hmm…” Blue begins, suddenly losing all bravado and feeling quite shaky. He wriggles his fingers, not wanting to meet Zero’s eyes. He uncertainly wrings his long-fingered hands. “Ah: _sorry_.” He says. “May have not needed to be so aggressive at the end, there. Guess I don’t have much practice—”

His words are cut off by a bone-crushing hug. 

As Blue sinks into Zero's embrace--basking in the feeling of being held by Zero: not in danger, not by accident, not at BHIKKE, after too many Black Nebulas; but really, _really, _just because he wants to--he hears Aava's muffled, relieved voice. 

_“It’s a start.”_ She murmurs. 

>>>

  
  
”PASSENGERS: PREPARE YOURSELF FOR AN EMERGENCY LANDING.

NOW APPROACHING PLANET: ILOH.

COMPOSURE: MOSTLY WATER. 

WEATHER FORECAST: STORMY.”

>>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FEELINGS. SO MANY FEELINGS. This is the fix-it chapter for the mess that is ZeBlue. If you are enjoying the story, please leave me a comment or kudos for encouragement!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue has to choose survival (relying on others) over control (relying on himself). This isn’t going to end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not a ton of action in this chapter, but HOLD ON TO YOUR WIGS—

>>>

Blue doesn’t remember much from the crash-landing. It all comes in flashing, tangled images: _ Blaring alarms. The red flash of warning lights. Unnatural gushes of steam from the hull. A pulsating light as Aava welds the force in her hands. __And Zero. __Zero, wrapped bodily around him. __Protecting him. _

“You okay bos--_ buddy?” _

Zero crouches in front of Blue. He is projecting distorted questions across his broken screen. The gank does not look good; hardware is broken, helmet is damaged, several wounds are openly _bleeding_. But it appears, however, that Zero is ignoring his own wounds for the sake of Blue. And that he is proffering their last bacta pad towards Blue in a way that suggests that his help will _not_ be denied. “You should probably press that against the lump on your head.” Zero instructs. 

_ No. YOU should have it, _Blue thinks. His eyes linger upon the large, jagged crack runs down the right side of Zero’s helmet like a wild lightning bolt. _Dead, _he thinks dully. _With a fall hard enough to break even MY_ _tech, you ought to be DEAD right now. _He reaches forward, mindlessly tracing the spidering cracks that emanate from Zero's point of impact. 

“...You’re _doing it again_.” Zero cringes. He pulls away. 

“Doing what?” Blue frowns. 

“That..._concerned _ thing.” Zero replies uncomfortably. “Don’t. I’m not _ used _ to it.” He forces the bacta pad back into Blue’s hands. 

Blue flushes and scoffs. “I am _ not.” _ he says dismissively. But he follows Zero's instructions obediently, raising the gel-pad to his tender head. Blue clenches his teeth at the smarting touch and hisses. “_Ouch! _Actually, you know what, Zero?" 

"What."

"I’m not concerned at all! _Really! _Not in the _ slightest!" _Whether it Blue's tone, or the way that his eyes are leaking from the pain of his headwound, Zero shakes his head in disbelief.

“_Really." _

“Yes! In fact, we have _everything_ perfectly under control!” Unfortunately, that is the same, precise moment that the crumpled remains of their escape pod _explodes_. 

_"Geddown!" _Zero forces Blue to the ground. He _wishes_ they weren't making a habit of this: brushing up against death, leaning into one another. And yet, as the gank hovers over him in a protective posture, he feels his heart flutter with appreciative admiration. _Always here. Ever my protector. _As the sounds of the explosion fade painfully from his head, Zero looks down at him and smirks. “You were _saying_?” He teases. Behind them, the smoke of the explosion rises in ominous curls. 

“Ah, _ stuff it,_ Zero.” Blue sniffs. 

Zero draws himself up to his full, 6’3’’ posture, towering over him. It occurs to Blue that moment that, even battered and bruised, his partner strikes an impressive figure. All those rippling muscles, fight-ready posture, outfitted mechanical arm...He projects a glitchy wink at Blue from his fractured helmet.

“If you like.” 

Blue_ gags._ He feels his heart stop, and then _race _in his chest. _HOW. How did--THIS--happen? To ME?? _He struggles to find the adequate words, but he mostly just chokes on his tongue beneath Zero's intent gaze. _Kriff! _They haven't been alone together since the night before, and (_at least on his end) _the details of their _highly _intimate encounter has been bleeding into his thoughts. He coughs, hoping that this mind cannot be read that easily. 

Zero laughs. “Just kidding. Take it easy, man. You've got a concussion, after all. ” He reaches down to assist Blue in his sitting up.

From up close, he can see the full impact of the crash upon Zero. For all of his bravado, it certainly can't have been easy on him. Like his helmet, much of the gank's armor is damaged to the point of uselessness. Sure, it would suffice in an everyday fight; but it likely wouldn’t hold up to things like lightsabers, or Imperial blasters.

Or _whatever_ the residents of this island have.

Taking the moment to absorb his surroundings, Blue sweeps his gaze around the unoccupied beach: rough, untrimmed foliage; battered, coconut-laden palms; unattended, natural beachside ecosystem. If there had ever been residents on this particular side of the island, then they had never left so much as a footprint upon the sand. Tide pools on the western edge of the cove sport vibrant and healthy corals, running up into a vibrant, pink-and-purple cliffside; beyond that, a lush and tropical forest, filled with every shade and color of green. 

A figure emerges from the leaves. “Hey, boys! I'm back.” Aava Arek strides out of the dense leaves. As she approaches their sandy clearing, Blue can see the vast difference from just one day before: cheeks flush with health, eyes glittering with freedom and excitement, a variable spring to her step. If he hadn't been there to see the crash, he wouldn't have known that she'd been in it, too; _freedom__ suits her, _Blue thinks to himself. Indeed, Aava has grown acquainted with their surroundings; she carries a satchel of salvaged supplies from the crash slung over her shoulder, and she totes several, full canteens of fresh, clean water. Judging by the tilt of her smile, Blue guesses that her recon mission has yielded favorable results. 

“Report, Agent Arek?” Blue asks as she plops down in the sand. 

She scoffs. "I'm not your agent, Blue. I never _was_." Aava hands him a canteen, which he eagerly pulls to his lips. Aava adds: “I guess I'm not _ anyone’s _ agent anymore. I'm just...my _own_." 

Zero projects a squiggly, pixellated heart at her, and she actually _grins_. “Fine, then.” Blue prompts. “Status report?”

Aava rolls her eyes at Blue’s formality. “Well, what would you prefer first?" She asks, tapping one finger upon a bent knee. "The _ good _ news, or the _ bad?"_

“Good, please.” 

“Okay. Good news: if we keep a low profile, I _doubt_ that the Empire will be able to located us within the next 48 hours. There is good coverage here, and this island is practically deserted. So that that would give us a brief, and much-needed, window of recovery.” Zero exhales heavily. Blue is also relieved; however, he is concerned about the other man's wounds, and so he needs to press for some more definite results. 

"So you don't think that we'll be disturbed by visitors from the mainland?" 

Aava shrugs. “Iloh is an ocean planet, mostly composed of tropical islands. There are much bigger and more luxurious ones to choose from than this little, bare archipelago." 

"That's fortunate." Zero says, elbowing Blue. He frowns back at him, is still not convinced.

“So no Imp vacationers?” 

Aava tilts her head side to side. “I can’t _promise_ that, Blue. It's not impossible, but it's also not _ likely.” _

He sighs. "..._Good enough._" If his insight to the Imperial protocol is anything to go by, they will have at least forty-eight hours until the Moff deploys someone to search in this sector. Maybe even seventy-two, if this island is really as deserted and isolated as it looks. He scrunches his brow in concentration, trying to recall screens from his datapad about breeched Imperial protocol or search-and-rescue missions. 

“So...what is the _ bad _ news?” Zero asks slowly. 

Aava hesitates. “Unfortunately...itseems as though my suspicions were correct. There _ is _ another force-user on this island. If not two of them._” _She says this quite matter-of-factly, as though her tone might reduce the impact. This does not work: Blue gives a sharp, alarmed intake of breath, topping over; Zero projects several jolting exclamation points.

“How big is this island!?” Blue interrogates Aava, sitting up too quickly. “Are you certain that it's big enough to avoid them?! And, otherwise, how much _ time _ do we have? What can we use for departure?!" He’s already beginning to picture it: the potential risks of Zero going into battle before his healing and repairs, the way that Zero would look, bent and crumpled upon the floor, the dark burn of a lightsaber steaming upon his chest--

“It’s hard to say.” Aava replies. She seems distant, lost in thought. “I don’t sense anything..._threatening _ in their auras. I think it might even be possible that we are not even in any danger from them." 

Blue frowns. _What?!_ This reaction strikes him as..._deeply_ strange. She doesn’t seem nearly as distressed as she ought to, given this situation. Surely, it would be very dangerous for them to be in such close proximity to other Force-users who might sense their presence? Others who might track them down, turn them into the Empire, hurt Zero--?!!

The former bounty-hunter sets one calming hand upon his shoulder. “Interesting." He says. "Any sense of what their intentions might be? You know that we,” he gestures between himself and Blue, “don’t really _understand _about how the whole Force thing works. Is there something you can do to sort of, I dunno, _feel them out_?” 

A sudden and exciting idea occurs to Blue. “Yeah!” he interjects. “Like, can’t you just, pull a _ viewing _off of their auras or something!?” He wriggles his fingers, as if casting a spooky Force-witch spell. “Read their minds? Or their inner thoughts?” From beside him, Zero splays a hand across his eyes in embarrassment. 

“As much as you like to say I’m a spooky _witch, _ Blue," Aava smiles, shaking her head: "_No. _ That’s _ not _ how that works.”She reaches for an abandoned, iridescent mollusk shell and shakes off the layer of white sand clinging to it. “But I can get...flashes. _Impulses. _Or, as one of you might say, it's like some kind of _scent." _

This perks Blue up again. He taps at the point of his chin thoughtfully. “Scent-signatures, you say?”

“More or less. It’s probably the best way to describe it to the pair of you.”

“As in, you might be able identify a familiar person?” 

Aava wrinkles her nose. “Sure. Grievous, for example? He smells like burning trash." 

"Can we locate them?" Blue wonders aloud. "Like, can you just pick up a familiar scent and follow the signature? At least until we can pinpoint them, trap them, and make up a plan? Maybe kill them off, so they are no longer a threat?"

To his surprise, Aava’s face moves through a series of confusing, distressed emotions: surprise, fear, concern, anger. For a moment, she looks as though she is going to say something important. Then, she closes her mouth and shrugs tightly: “Perhaps.” 

_Well. THAT was weird. _At a glance, Zero doesn’t seem to be too concerned: (_As he's told Blue on more than one occasion:"If it's good enough for Aav, it's good enough for me.") _The gank is currently poking at the sand with a stick, playfully trying to lure a crab out from its shelter. Watching him, Blue feels a sweeping uncertainty. _Maybe I am just over-analyzing things again? Am I over-reacting because of my concern for Zero in his current state? _Still wary of her reasons must be for being withdrawn, Blue tries to fish for more information from Aava. “So. You can sense if they work for the Empire? Or if they have Imperial sympathies?” 

This time, Aava grins wickedly. "Oh, yes. Inner Core have a _distinctive _kind of smell. I wish you could smell yourself. It's a bit of a cross between Bantha shit, and-"

"-Okay, _f__ine!" _Blue snaps, irritated. "We trust you! _Forget it." _Zero hums in amusement. Blue huffs and crosses his arms. _"_So what’s the next step of our plan, then?” In the gesture, the bacta pad slides off of his stinging head, and it washes him in a fresh, spiking wave of pain. "_Ouch!" _

Zero drops his stick, reaching for Blue. _"Oi!"_ He yelps, as though the pain was on _his _head instead. "Careful, _careful_!" He directs the healing gel back to Blue's skull. "_Keep _that there. I would recommend that we find shelter. Either finding or making some. Aav?" 

"Yep."

"_Shelter?!" _Blue asks incredulously. He waves his free hand, gesturing at the island around them. “Are you kidding me? This weather is _ beautiful! _ This beach is _ perfect! _ It’s more like...like a..._vacation_ than any other kind of mission we’ve managed! Can’t we just, I don't know, _weave up a_ _ hammock_ or something? Zero, you've got survival skills: what do we need to camp on the beach?” 

Zero shakes with silent laughter. Aava raises her eyebrows, incredulous. "Really? _Really_, Blue?...And...they made you a _m__inister?" _

Blue feels his face flushing with embarrassment. "Shut up!" 

The cyborg leans over, fondly wrapping an arm around Blue. “_You,_” he says fondly, “don’t have an _ ounce _ of survival skills, _d__o you? _ ” The insulting words are softened as Zero bumps the corner-edge of his helmeted jaw against Blue’s cheek. He feels his skin burn as all that separates him from the kiss is a thin, glassy layer of transparisteel. “_What_ would you do _without_ me?” 

Blue closes his eyes. “Let’s _never find out.”_ He gulps. 

Aava snorts. “Easy there, guys. I’ll go get started on scoping out a spot for the night, shall I?” He feels his face burning with pleasure and embarrassment at Zero's open display of affection as she slides to her feet. “Think that you two can manage to separate long enough to get a fire going before I get back?"

Zero laughs and salutes her smartly. “Roger, that!” He pips. 

The moment of enchantment is _gone_.

“_What?!” _Blue sputters. “Wait-_Zero_-You-you can’t-_just_-you can't take orders from _her _now?! _Can _you?!" His former employee grins back, nuzzling his smooth helmet against Blue's neck.

“And why _not?_” He asks playfully, pulling at Blue's crossed, indignant arms. "Its not like I work for anyone _else _anymore!"

>>>

It is _fortunate_ that Blue has Zero. 

Not just because he insisted that Blue join them in the water-smoothed cave that Aava had found for the night (_the only reason that they are not currently drowning in a tropical storm outside), _and not just because Blue sprained his skinny ankle and needed someone to carry him up the rest of the mountain (_b__ridal-style, to his chagrin). _It’s because Blue is, in fact, _ shit _at staying alive. No less than _seven _times did he almost die before the day was out: First, the snapping plants (_giant fangs, white, grasping tentacles). _Second, the sandy cliff side _(nearly took more than his ankle). _The third involved killer-bees; the fourth, toxic clamshells. Fifth was when Blue nearly drank rancid water; and the sixth was when he, quite accidentally, surprised Aava while she was relieving herself, and she almost force-choked the life out from him. Threat number seven was _turtles_. 

“I didn’t know,” Blue grumbles, rolling up his sleep-pad, “that _ turtles _ would be so _ hostile _ in this environment.” 

Aava groans. Zero pauses in gathering up the bags, sighing heavily in that long-suffering way. “Probably because of the _storm_, Blue.” He repeats tiredly. “Like I told you: space snapping-turtles can bite off a_ whole human arm _if they think that they are in danger, or, if you _threaten their babies_.” 

Blue flushes with embarrassment and anger. “I _ wasn’t _ threatening her babies!” He seethes. “I was just trying to get us some _fresh eggs for breakfast!”_

Aava places a hand to her temple. _“This _ again...” She groans. "Blue? I'm already getting a migraine. Can you _not?..." _He puffs up, ready to protest the correlation between his talking and Aava's frequent headaches, but she cuts him off at the pass. “Look, Blue: it was a _nice thought,_ alright? But Zero _knows_ what he’s talking about here. If the man says that a turtle thinks that her eggs are her babies, then they are, _effectively_, her babies_. Okay?_”

He _hates _that she always takes Zero's side of things. “_Not_ okay!” he fumes. “_Technically_, spaceturtles are-”

“For the _ love _ of the _ Force!” _ Zero interrupts loudly. “ Will you _please _just _ shut the kark up already?!” _Aava winces as the gank opens and closes his gloved hands, mimicking motions of strangling Blue. _“Read the kriffing room, Blue!_ It’s a _Force-kriffing-turtle_! I am _ not _ having this _stupid _argument with you again. You should have _listened_ to me, instead of trying to lose your s_neaky little fingers in that den!" _

“Are you calling me _stupid?" _Blue's voice is pitching into the more shrill of octaves. "And _sneaky?"_

“Well, I’m sure as_ hell _ not calling you _ intelligent!” _

He's had _enough_. Blue stalks from the cave entrance, stomping each foot into the sandy mud. _Repeat after me: __You’re fortunate to have him! You’re fortunate to have him! _At the moment, he was not feeling generous. It had been a long night: less sleeping than tossing and turning, and less resting than worrying about Zero's wounds. On top of it all, this whole new _biting-his-tongue-and-being-nice-to-people t_hing takes more effort than he had ever suspected. So it really _isn't_ his fault that he feels like he wants to bark as his friends when they emerge from the cave, blinking into the tropical morning sunlight, with demands like: “_Hurry up!_ We haven't got _all day." _

Zero's attempt to claw out his eyes is hindered by Aava's calming hand and voice. "Let's focus our energy on something _useful, _boys." She says, giving a long, cleansing exhale. "Zero? What would you recommend for our next move?" The gank sighs, settling back on his heels. He looks even more tattered in the light of the new day, and Blue feels a pang of guilt for nagging at him. 

"Your guess is as good as mine. We aren't exactly in familiar territory here." 

"Hmmm. What would you do if this was a _mission_?" 

Zero fingers his the pack on his shoulder, considering this. "I think that I'd want to head away from the coast." He replies thoughtfully. "Get out of the line of sight from flyby ships. Then see if we can contact some locals. If we can barter with any of our stuff, I'd barter for weapons or other supplies. If we can't barter or trade, then..." He shrugs. "We'll just have to figure something else out." 

Blue chews hesitantly on his lip. He'd rather _not _have Zero try and_ 'figure something else out'_ when his body is already damaged. While he doubts that anyone else on this island can put up much of a fight against his former bodyguard, he'd really _hate_ to see anyone try it right now. 

"Good plan," Aava agrees, patting his arm soothingly. "I like it." 

Zero sighs, releasing the last of his tension. "You're too good to us, Aav." He chuckles gratefully. "Okay, then. Lead they way." 

The Force-user smiles. She nods towards a north-west direction, and their small, formerly-Bluebird crew begins to hike up the tropical mountainside. 

Blue trudges behind the group at a distance. Despite his sour mood, he gradually cannot _help_ but notice that the island surrounding them is _stunningly _beautiful. Over the years, he'd always heard from his fellow Ministers that Iloh offered many exotic pleasures; but he had been expecting those to be brothels or beaches. What he _hand't _anticipated was the overwhelming, gorgeous verdancy of the island: the way that the many, lush plans and flowers seemed to spring up underfoot. The way that the blue sky set off the white sand, making the whole thing so very picturesque. The way that every inhale carried the scent of clear skies and open, salted waters. Everywhere Blue looked, he spotted new and different shades of tropical green: in the spiky, bristled brushes of plants; in the thick, supple wedges of succulents; in the bright, luscious leaves of fruit-bearing trees. After some time of walking, he loses his bad mood entirely, and finds himself actively resisting the urge to reach out and _stroke_ every plant he walks by. 

“Like it, Blue?” 

He startles. Apparently, Zero has drawn back from his walk alongside Aava, and has fallen back into his regular place shadowing silently over Blue. At the moment, the gank is strolling just a few steps behind him, observing him from a careful, quiet distance. _Always here for me, _Blue thinks._ Even when I'm an ass. Even when I clearly don’t deserve him. _

Something on his face must have revealed his inner thoughts, because Zero projects an emoji of concern. "Or. Maybe _not_?" 

"I--_Yeah_!" Blue replies, stomach twisting. "Yeah. I like it. It's..._good_." Blue drops his gaze to the side of the road. The honest, transparent expression of feelings is still something that he's been working on. It's not a _natural _effort for him, to say what he's been pondering internally. 

Zero makes an amused sound. "_Good, _huh? That's high praise, coming from you." Blue shrugs, doing his best impression of Zero's nonchalance. When he spies a large, striking, pink-and-gold flower blooming amongst the leaves, he pauses and squats down to get closer. "Whatcha got there?" 

Blue ghosts his pale fingers over the bright petals. “Yes. _Good_. I suppose I’m rather..._fond_ of flowers." he says softly. "I’ve always appreciated exquisite gardening. Or, well: _looking _ at gardens.” he corrects himself. “I don’t like much to do the dirty work.” 

_“Oh?”_ Zero’s voice has a teasing, sarcastic note to it. "Really? Woulda _never_ expected it." 

_“Hush."_ Blue replies tersely. But he's really not mad; not at all. In fact, he feels a bit _enchanted_ with the beautiful flower under his hands. Gingerly, carefully, Blue reaches to pluck one of the flowers off of its delicate branch The stem breaks, wet and fragile, and it weeps beads of sugary, clear liquid into his hand. “...In fact, the gardens were something I actually _l__iked _about Wrengen Manor.” 

Zero freezes, attention turning towards him and sharpening. Truthfully, he's surprised too: he hadn't _meant _to say that. Blue _never _talks about his painful childhood upon Mandalore, nor does Zero bring up those earliest years.“...Yeah?” his former bodyguard replies hesitantly.

“..._Yeah_.” Blue confirms. “It was always..._quiet_ out there.” He rotates the cut flower-cap in his hand. “Nobody quarreling. Nobody playing mind games. No one jumping down your throat for simply being _alive _the wrong way_._” He stops short, embarrassed. Once again, he has said too much. _This whole...vulnerability thing, _Blue thinks, _is trying. And absurd. _“Sorry.” He mutters, squeezing his eyes shut. “My apologies, Zero. I didn’t mean to say all of that. Embarrassing." 

There is a gentle breeze, and Blue feels the brush of Zero’s gloved hand moving over his shoulder. It comes to rest on the back of his head, just behind his ear.

“...Don’t be.” Zero murmurs. His voice is _achingly_ soft.

The feeling of his touch is comforting; and although he and Zero often abide by an unspoken agreement of minimal touching--more than that might _break _him--it also feels _right_. _Fa__miliar_. Ears burning, Blue rubs at the flower petals in his hand. _What are we? __What am I to you? _He had meant _every_ word that he'd said upon the escape shuttle: down to the core of his _being, _he'd meant it. He _wanted _Zero. But...what about _Zero? _What did _he _want? He hasn't said anything to Blue, as of yet. But, _surely, _all of this _means something_ between the two of them in these last few days? He hasn't forgotten the way that Zero glared at him distrustingly back in the starship hallway; had gazed at him across the expanse of the Gala; had closed his eyes, _softly_, as Blue came, gasping, against him.

Before he can second-guess himself, Blue shoves the plucked flower into Zero's open hand.

“C’mon, Oni.” he says breathlessly. “Hurry up. We're going to lose track of Aava.” He hustles away through the underbrush, knees fairly quaking, ignoring the words taht Zero calls after him in confusion and amusement. 

Had Blue known what was about to happen to them--about how greatly their lives were about to change--he might have turned back. 

>>>

All at once, the chemistry of the air changes. 

Suddenly, rather than pleasantly speaking with Blue, Zero goes _silent_. His body grows tense and his muscles flexing, his deep, mechanical breath hitching with alarm. Blue feels the fine hairs on the back of his neck prickle up in suspense; but before he can even begin to ask what is wrong, he sees Zero flowing into a defensive battle-posture. The gank shifts his weight to the balls of his feet, extends his claws, and moves in front of Blue in one strong, smooth motion.

_“Get down! ”_ his bodyguard hisses. 

Blue ducks, not hesitating to obey. _“What is it?” _he whispers. Apparently he is not quiet enough, because Zero's hand claps over his mouth, effectively shutting off his airway. Blue silently shoots verbal curses at him, doing his best not to wriggle under the grip.

“_Shhh!” _he replies._"I don't think we're alone_ now..." Staying in his crouched, defensive posture, Zero calls out into the forest: _"Aava?" _

There is no responce. 

Over the sound of his heartbeat, Blue can hear the wary, threatening tone that Zero uses when he is about to decapitate someone. "Aava?" He asks again cautiously. "If that's you..."

When Blue hears the static, answering hum of a lightsaber, he nearly collapses with relief. _It's alright! _He thinks. _Stupid nerves. It's Just Arek. _But _then_\--then, when Zero doesn't release him; then, when Zero's grip grows tighter even still, and he feels his ribs creaking, threatening to break--Blue's heart drops into his stomach. He scrabbles against Zero's hand, doing his best to peer around the leathery grip in order to see the danger that is before them. His eyes widen open in disbelieving _shock. _

There is indeed a person standing before them in the tropical clearing; a familiar, alarming, _pain-riddled_ _memory_ of a person. 

It is _Leenik Geelo._ Of the _Mynock. _

He's poised, lethal, and ready to strike. 

And he's wielding a _ lightsaber. _

>>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LEENIK GEELO? OF THE MYNOCK?? IN MY FIC??? It’s more likely than you think.


	4. Iloh Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, a crew chooses to become a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ll get back to the action shortly.

>>>

The beach is soft, sandy and perfect. The air has a hazy, salt-scented breeze. Above the water, seagulls are suspended on the warm air currents, lazily floating on-wing as they watch for a sparkle or flash beneath the surface.

Tamlin Jorun—splashing through the water, a loyal Tony Vornskyr loping at his side—seeks out one of those flashes. The Zabrack boy breaks sharply and dives beneath the bright surface, grasping at a blurred, jade-colored shell with his clawed, painted fingernails. Water streams off of his tattooed face and young horns as he emerges, triumphant. “I _ got one!” _ He cries, waving the gleaming, iridescent mollusk shell above his head. “Uncle Lyn! Uncle Lyn! Look at _ this!” _

A golden-orange Twi'lek with short, thick lekku hangs one leg over the edge of her surfboard. When the boy yells out, she raises one hand to shield the sun off her brow. “That’s great, Tama!” She calls back to him. “Why don’t you bring it here and show me?” She watches fondly as the child leaps noisily through the water towards her. 

“_This _ one is what we’ve been looking for, Uncle Lyn!” He says, proudly presenting the dripping mollusk before him. “I betcha he’s going to _ love _ our new garden. And grow up _ so big! _”

Lyntel’Luroon plucks the shining bivalve from his cupped hands and smiles at him. “Yes, Tamlin. This is a _ very _nice mollusk. I think he will settle in nicely with the others before the harvest.” She pats the waxy surface of a space on the board next to her, and he clambers up to sit next to her. The seven-year-old boy positively _ glows _with happiness and health. _He’s growing so big now himself_! Lyntel thinks: the sharp, pointed horns that have sprung from his head; the long, lanky height he’s so rapidly added; the way that his thin, scrawny arms have recently put on chords from all of his Force training. As she considers the shell, the smallest shadow of a frown passes over Tamlin’s face. 

“Do we _ have _ to kill them and eat them?” He asks, looking up at Lyn.“I _ like _ them. They have _ voices_. Sometimes, they even sing to me at night!” 

Lyn, who has been rolling the pear-shaped shell in her palm, winces slightly. _Sing? _“It’s up to you, dear, as always.” She says. “You don’t _ have _ to eat them. Remember what we’ve taught you: you always get to choose how you want to act for the things that _ matter_.” Tamlin reaches for the shell once again, and she drops it back into his open hand. “Today, just like yesterday and tomorrow, we will _never_ make you choose to do something you don’t think is right. And—if that means not killing and eating the mollusks—you _have_ that right.”

The child nods gratefully, relief flowing over his soft, ash-pale skin. 

“_However...” _ she reminds him, ever-practical. “Remember that your uncles _ have _chosen to eat those mollusks. And so Uncle Bacta will still be preparing them for myself, Tryst and Leenik.” 

Tamlin groans, and rolls his eyes with annoyance. _”Okay...” _He drops his gaze down to the glittering, transparent surface of the water. “...I _know_.” And then, out of nowhere, he suddenly, cheerfully parrots: _“We need protein in our diet; and snails is tasty!” _

“Mollusks, Tamlin.” Lyn chuckles in surprise. “And who ever said _that_?” Given the tone of voice and the choice of language that Tamlin has imitated, she has her suspicions.

“Who do you think?” the boy returns with a sly smile.

_Cheeky! _she grins. _ He’s really picked up a sense of humor from his uncles. _"Probably Uncle Tryst." She says, poking him in the softness of his pale belly. Tamlin giggles.

“_Yep!”_

Enjoying his giggles, she pokes at the tiny folds of fat on his healthy body. This makes the child laugh even harder, and so she finds herself doubling-down on her efforts of tickling. Lyntel'Luroon has _never_ been great with kids; a fact which knows, and she freely acknowledges. But Tama isn’t just _“a kid.”_ He’s _their _ kid. And he’s been _growing up._ So _fast! _

“Well, come on, then, buddy.” She says affectionately. Lyn pushies at his shoulders until he sways on the surfboard. “We better get going. Uncle Bacta will be done with dinner before the sun sets.”

Tamlin stretches out his arms, spread-eagle. “Oh-_ Kay _ !” He replies. Then, _dramatically, _he falls backwards into the glistening water with a tremendous_SPLASH. _Lyn smiles as the emerges from the water, spitting a stream from between his sharp, pointed teeth. “Tony! Come, Tony!” The boy calls to over their Vornskyr. "Suppertime, boy!" It doesn’t take a 600-pount, ultra-intelligent space-wolf to put _those _words together. Dinner has become a much looked-forward to event upon Iloh, even for Tony Vornskyr; for, as it turns out, Bacta’s culinary skills _far _outstrip his fighting or medical skills. 

Gripping on to the wet, purple-grey hide of the vornskyr, Tamlin pulls himself up and out of the water. As they lope through the waves, Lyn smiles and shakes her head, admiring the growth and strength of her boy. She wonders how long they will get to live in this peaceful, tranquil season and watch him grow, with nothing more than singing mollusks to disturb him from his dreams. 

As if in answer, an ominous rumble of thunder rolls in from the coastline. 

>>>

It’s been just over two years since the crew of the Mynock landed on Iloh. Captain Tryst Valentine had promised Tamlin an island vacation, and Nemoidian Sparks had known a few contacts land-side who could help him return to hiding. Thus, their Island-vacation-holiday-hiding-out combo began on on the beachside planet. After stripping their newly-refurbished Verpine ship of all traceable signals, the remaining crew had quietly descended the Mynock into the tropical atmosphere. While it had taken work to find the most isolated, protected environment (eventually, they chose an island named “Radah,” meaning, _ the uninhabited), _ they had quickly and comfortably settled into their new island lifestyle. Neemo provided assistance from afar by sending them tools to construct a shelter; Bacta arranged their kitchen and garden. Tryst had gone about updating their various wardrobes (_“a MUST DO for our current weather!”), _and Lyn had kept a regular schedule of research and surveillance back at the ship—just to make certain there weren’t Imps on their tail.   
  
And--at _some_ point during this process--they had shifted away from referring to one another as _crew. _And started calling one another _Fa__mily._

“Hey!” Leenik Geelo whoops, greeting the trio as they arrive. He drops down from a tall palm tree, nimble and flexible as his green, suction-cupped feet, as he lands before them. _T__raining again, _Lyn observes, noticing the sheen of sweat on his brow, and the glistening hilt of their family lightsaber strapped to his hip. “How did your snail hunting go?” 

“_Mollusks, _Leenik. And, hello! Successful, I think.”

Tamlin answers only by launching himself bodily at the Rodian's back. Without any kind of surprise or hesitation, Leenik easily spins and catches the boy in his playful attack. The pair of them go tumbling and laughing head-over-foot, wrestling among the sand and the long, island grass. _All that bounty hunter training, _ Lyn muses, _ is quite the deadly combo with his newly-discovered abilities._The thought is both a comforting and disquieting one: Leenik is _powerful_ in battle, and yet, he is equally _brutal_ and temperamental. His emotions run hot and unpredictable, and when he lashes out with the Force, it is with _much_ more violence than Tamlin. Sometimes, it concerns her. 

“Guys?..._GUYS!” _ A low voice calls impatiently in the near distance. Bacta is standing in the doorway wearing Leenik’s “kiss the cook” apron, waving a spatula above his shining, bald forehead. “Stop rolling around in the dirt and get in here! Or your supper is gonna get _cold!” _

Leenik and Tamlin break apart, giggling. “Alright, _ mom!” _Leenik replies, rolling his eyes dramatically. But the Rodian obeys, pushing himself up with a trust of his mechanical hand. He wipes sand off of Tamlin’s knees, whispering conspiratorially. “We better not keep him waiting.” He winks—or, at least, Lyn _assumes_ that he wink--it’s done with the eye hidden underneath the patch. 

“Did you learn anything new while you were training today?” Tama asks Leenik as the four of them walk towards the good smells of the house. 

“Hmm. I _ may have _ dropped a few coconuts on Trystan’s head.” Leenik smirks. 

“Wow, _ really, _Uncle Leenik?!" Tamlin exclaims. "How did you manage _that_?” 

“Er. I _m__ay _have. They were already looking a little bit _loose_ anyway.” 

“_Ha!” _

As they enter the doorway, they can already smell that dinner is going to be _delicious. _Bacta is busily setting plates upon the table, whistling as he goes about the process. These days, Lyn can hardly _ recognize _ the former clone-trooper: his new, easy posture; his lightness of shoulders; the brightness to his shadow-free, well-rested eyes. As they approach, he looks up and smiles. Despite the roughness of his voice earlier, it is a look is full of fondness for his returning family. “Took you long enough.” Bacta grunts, more at Leenik and Tama. “Wash up, _please_. Force knows what you get into while playing around in the forest!” 

Leenik’s brow wrinkles. “Not playing, _ training!” _He insists, swatting Bacta on one of his thick, tattooed arms as he walks by. 

“You can call it _ training, _ ‘Nik, _after_ you get yourself a trainer.” 

Through the the sounds of splashing of water in the bathroom, she can hear Leenik's snippy retort: “Not _ everyone _needs to grow up with drill sergeants and boot camp, you know, Bacta!"

Muttering, the former clone trooper stalks back into the kitchen. “How was your day?” Lyntel asks, following him. She leans against the slab of counter and watches Bacta pour steaming mussels and shrimp into a nest of pasta. “Tryst get you into any kind of trouble?” The man sighs. As usual, she knows that it's all for show: the man _loves _being bothered by (_and tending to) _the needs of his family, particularly Valentine. 

“Tryst _ always _ causes me trouble.” Bacta says, turning to offer the full, steaming bowl to Lyn. “He’s forever a massive _ pain in the ass.”_

“Did’you call me?” said ass responds, cheerfully striding into the kitchen.

Vacation-hideout has also been kind to Tryst. He has grown his blonde, sun-bleached hair out long, and he now wears it up in a messy bun. While he keeps his stubble and beard thin these days, there is a new thickness to his stomach, chest and thighs that had not previously been during his time on the Mynock. Even though the pilot feels a bit self-conscious about it, it’s not at all a _ bad _ look for him; Leenik calls it _'dad-weight,'_ and Lyn thinks that it softens him out. Perhaps, enough that it seems to have permeated his very words and everyday attitudes, sinking into and smoothing out his crass, rougher edges.

“Hey there, cutie.” Tryst says, wrapping his arms around Bacta’s shoulders. He plants a smooch upon his bald head. “Sounds like you’ve been talking about me.” 

Bacta, forever uncomfortable with outward displays of affection, flushes and stutterers.“_Kriffit—Tryst_! Fine, _ fine. _ Just: get the blue milk out of the cellar and put it on the table, would you?” 

“Anything for you.” Tryst replies, batting his long eyelashes. When he feels Lyn staring, he looks up and adds amiably: “And, of course, you too, Lyntel dear.” 

She snorts. “It must have been a _ particularly _long day,” she says, patting the top of Tryst’s head as he walks by, “for all of that butt-kissing. What, did you break something of Uncle Bacta’s again?” 

“You _ wound _ me!” Trystan Valentine cries, plumping out his lower lip theatrically. “Bacta, why does she always _wound _ me?” 

Bacta sighs irritably, walking back into the kitchen for flatware. ““We’ve been over this, Tryst. She’s not _ wounding _ you. Or even _ rejecting _ you. She’s just _ not interested. _Okay? Learn the _ difference _already!!” 

Tryst grumbles as he stomps down the stairs to fetch the blue milk. ("_Everybody is into me."_ He grumps loudly.) Smiling faintly, Lyn follows Bacta out to the kitchen table, assisting him in setting down the various plates of steaming food. Tamlin and Leenik have washed up and taken their seats, and seem to be talking avidly about Leenik's past bounty-hunting days. 

“What did you do _ next??” _ Tamlin is asking him eagerly, pale cheeks already packed full of food. 

“Held him over the edge of the ship,” Leenik says proudly. “Dangled him there for a bit. And I said: _ ‘if it’s you’re life, or mine, buddy: I want _ mine!’ And then: I _dropped_ him.”

Tamlin’s mouth hangs open in enraptured horror. A noodle slips free. “You _ dropped _him?!” 

“You betcha!” 

Bacta groans.“Leenik. _Geelo_. You _ know _ how I feel about you sharing your gorey bounty-hunter stories with our _ child. And _at the _ dinner table.”_

Leenik sticks out his tongue through his long snoot at Bacta, which makes the boy laugh even harder. “He had_ wings.” _ Leenik retorts, tone suggesting that _ Bacta _ is really the one who is out of line here. “And he was my hit anyway.”

Tryst enters the scene holding their kraft of blue milk. “So you _were_ talking about me!” He crows. “I _knew_ it! I _am_ quite a big hit, you know. 'Once played the piano at a show for the Khyber Krystals, I tell you.” He sets the milk upon the dinner table, then swoops grandly over to Leenik, kissing him soundly. “Welcome home, sweetheart.” 

Leenik—who has _no_ such problem with public displays of affection, so long as it is Tryst, and _only_ Tryst—sighs with dreamy pleasure. _“Hi."_ He says. “It’s good to see you, too, Tryst.” 

Wondering when her life had become this romantic comedy, Lyntel pulls out a chair and seats herself at the table. _Probably, _ she thinks, _ it before I even set foot on the Mynock. "_May I have the bread?" 

“Pass the snails, please?” 

_ “Shrimp. _ And _ mussels.” _Bacta corrects, handing the bowl to Tryst. “Good to see that you have your appetite back. No more stomach issues, then?”

Tryst receives the bowl and, rather than thanking him for noticing that he wasn’t vomiting seawater again today, cannot _resist _ the opportunity for innuendo. “Oh, you know me, Bacta: I can’t _ help _ having a _healthy appetite_ for _ delicious muscles.”   
_

Bacta chokes. Tamlin giggles. Leenik nearly snorts out his pasta at Bacta’s expression. Even _ Lyn _ can’t help but smile at her strange, loving family. 

“You get some decent surf today?” Tryst asks, passing the bowl onward to Lyn. 

“Pretty decent.” She replies, twisting the serving spoon around the pasta.“It wasn’t anything like last week, but it wasn’t half-bad.” 

All seems well in the world as they lose themselves in the familiar shifting of plates, good conversation, and comfortable chatter. The house that has become a home over these past two years for the Mynocks makes Lyntel'lyroon's heart swell with love; and she finds herself tuning out the sounds of rain and thunder outside, and simply drifting into a comfortable, dream-like state of spending time with her family. 

Until...._Then. _Then: Just as Tamlin is about to mention something about mollusks singing—just as Leenik is telling a joke, and Bacta is laughing, and Tryst is about to do a wardrobe change--that _horrible_ moment begins. The moment when a terribly familiar sound assaults their their ears, changing their quite life on the island forever: The roar of an engine. The screaming of air. The rattling of hull metal-upon-metal.

A _ship_.

Headed _right for their hideout. _

From that moment on: _everything_ becomes a blur and chaos, noise and sound. Seeing the sky-tail outside their window, Tryst is droping his cup on the floor, flecks of blue milk scattering like droplets of blood. ”_Imperial_ model. Ringest _God,_ they finally _found us. _Bacta is snarling, clenching his hands under the edge of the table. “Not _now_! Not like _this_!”He is hissing. Lyntel is reaching for Tamlin, who is shouting and crying: "What's going on? What's happening?!" And Leenik Geelo is swiftly, determinedly surging away towards the door; swiping up the lightsaber, sprinting away and bellowing out: Don’t follow me! I'll lead them off!!" 

_No. Oh, no, no. I_ _t’s all falling apart. I_ _t’s all ending. _

Bacta is yelling. Tamlin is crying. Tryst is pelting out into the dark after the rodian, pink kimono stained dark-red with rain. Lyntel watches the tears fall from Tama's eyes; watches the heavy rain pour from the sky; watches the way that bright lightning splits open the dark, followed by a ground-shaking thunder. And, as Lyntel'luroon stands in the doorway of what once was their home--stares out at the broken, uprooted palm trees left swaying behind in Leenik's wake--she knows that all good things can, and will, come to an end.

  
  
>>>  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He’s too damn quick on those Leenik Geelo Feet! How do you like the story so far? What do you think of the interlude? I hope you're ready for more to come soon!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue is not the only one who needs to choose between murder, revenge or alliance when unexpected circumstances bring old nemeses face to face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for more drama before it gets soft again.

>>>

  
  


It’s _ Leenik Geelo. _ And he’s holding a _ lightsaber. _

“YOU?!” The Rodian’s enormous, galaxy eye seems to pop from his head.

“_You!” _Zero snarls, outraged. “What’re _ you _ doing here, _ Geelo_?! You got some kinda _ death wish _ from me?”He gestures at the other man’s cybernetic arm. The one he’d _forcefully_ _removed from his body._

Blue’s heart thunders wildly in his ears. _This guy! Out of everyone in the whole galaxy, we have to run into _ this _ guy?! Someone who personally knows and HATES us?! _Last time they had encountered the former bounty-hunter, Zero had cut off Leenik Geelo’s arm; and, in retribution, his captain thrown Blue bodily from the top of a ten-story building. After weeks in and out of a coma, Blue had awakened crippled and clinging to life. And from then on, he had been forced to limp on a cane like much-older man. As if in reminder that said cane had been recently destroyed along with the Bluebird, his spine gives a hot, angry _ ache._

“I don’t know how you got here, _ Minister Blue.” _Geelo is wheezing. His voice sounds strained, as though he has run for miles at top speed; but he does _ not _ sound one bit _ afraid. _“And I don’t really _ care_. But I’m warning you now…” He swishes his lightsaber viciously.“...If you and your _ dog _ take one step closer to me or my family? _ You. Are. DEAD!” _

The air is thick and suffocating. Blue has broken out into a cold sweat, and he is doing his best to hide his chilled shiver from Zero. _A__ fight? Now?! In _ this _ condition? _Such circumstances might be a death-sentence to Zero. However, seemingly unintimidated, Zero just growls back at their attacker. It’s a threatening, ominous sound that ripples out from deep in his chest, making the hairs on the back of Blue’s neck stand on end. “_Try me, _bug-boy.” Zero says softly.“You so much as _touch _Blue, and I’ll fucking _end _you.” His voice sounds dangerous and low; and Blue believes he might be the _only_ one in the galaxy who would be able to note the _fear_ lurking there. Blue knows it’s because of _him. _And Zero’s fear that he cannot protect him in his current condition. As if to underscore his threat, Zero rolls his cybernetically-enhanced shoulders. They crackle loudly in their sockets, preparing for battle.

_Not good!! _

Blue’s shock gives way to a sharp, searing panic. _Say something!! Distract them! _He knows that Zero is not fit to battle a trained assassin right now. He knows this particularly applies to one with a lightsaber. Blue has to _do_ something. He forces his eyes closed, but his brain only runs in useless, desperate circles. _THINK! _“S-since when do you know the ways of the Force?” he demands of Geelo in a shaky breath. He almost manages to reclaim that haughty, imperious tone he so often uses for intimidation tactics, outside from the opening stutter.

“_Scared, _ Minister?” The Rodian sneers, holding his saber before him with two hands. “Not so tough out here in the wilderness, are you? None of your little toys for mind-control out here!” Geelo spits on the ground.

_He is angry, _Blue thinks. _I can work with that. _

Zero spreads himself defensively in front of Blue. “Don’t you _ talk to him!_” he snarls. “Not one step closer, Rodian!”

_And Zero is frightened. Outmatched. _ _And we all know it. _

This is _bad, _and Blue has to do some talking. _Fast. _“Not scared, per say...” he says, striking out for dismissive and disinterested. _(He guesses that it is coming off a bit lopsided, towards tight and defensive, given Geelo's unrelenting posture). _“Just a bit _ curious, _ is all._” _

Geelo pauses in his approach. Zero shifts his feet, non-verbally directing Blue to ‘s_hut up and get behind me, asshole!’ _

Blue ignores him.“Tell me, Leenik Geelo," he continues, grasping out with his words wildly: "Do you _ really _ think that someone who _ actually _ has _ magical Force abilities _ would be _ weak enough _ to lose in a fight?" It's not much, but it's _something. _He needs to keep pushing. Geelo looks close to a breaking point, and if he can just find the right words“And not just lose...but to lose a _limb? _Or...an _eye?" _

_Yes! That's it! _Blue remembers reading a file; one that indicated that Leenik Geelo does, in fact, have an eye; and yet, chooses to wear an an eyepatch for purely psychological, perhaps trauma-induced reasons. If he can just get at _that..._

_"Yes, _Geelo." Blue says. "How does it feel...to be _weak? _To be _that bad _at what you do?"" 

To Blue's utter shock, Leenik Geelo actually _laughs._ But it's not a pleasured laugh: It’s a wild, furious-sounding thing. And it makes something in his hindbrain cringe back and away slowly. _Dangerous! _It screams at him, ringing alarm-bells. _Back off! Back away! _Unfortunately for Blue, he seems to have realized this too late.: the triggered, rodian Force-user continues chuckling, stalking towards them with renewed intensity. 

_“What?”_ Geelo asks, watching Blue cower and Zero's crouch deeper. "Don’t you _understand?_ Agent _Zero_ here did me a _ favor_." He gestures at them with his mechanical arm. "This new, more powerful limb...it is quite _handy_!_” _His singular, exposed eye bulges manically. “Get it? _ Handy?” _When he laughs again, open and raw, and Blue thinks that he just might be sick. _(In another time and place, it’s the kind of thing that might have made Zero laugh; but here and now, it only serves as a reminder that the remaining Geelo brother might very well be insane. Indeed, he seems to be teetering on the edge of it.)_

Regretting that he had tempted a madman to battle with Zero, Blue tugs at his protector's back. “_Zero... “ _ He mutters, watching the tension building in his former bodyguard’s muscles, knowing what is going to happen despite his foreboding. “ I don't like our odds, here. He's _unhinged_. Don’t _do_ _this_…” But Zero doesn’t seem to care about his odds. As usual, the man is ready to throw himself, body and soul, into a life-threatening situation in order to protect Blue from harm. For once, he wishes desperately that Zero was just a bit more selfish.

When the gank growls this time, it is directed towards _Blue_. "_Don’t tell me what to do." _He rumbles. Turning his attention to Geelo, he snaps: “I’m only warning you _ one last time_.” The bodyguard lowers his weight on his haunches, coiled and powerful, ready to spring. “Back _off_ and get _lost. _And _maybe_ I’ll let you keep that _other_ arm for today." 

Blue knows Zero's in mortal danger when Leenik Geelo doesn't so much as flinch.

In fact, a wicked gleam has appeared in his eye, and it sends a spike of dread through Blue's chest. “Think you _ can?” _the rodian whispers, twisting the grip of his palms on his saber. “Last time I saw you at BHIKKE, _ Agent_, you were looking less like _ scrap metal, _ and more like a _ professional. _” The bounty-hunters shift into a dance, feet crossing over as they circle each other. Geelo tilts his scaled, emerald head to the side, taunting. “Oh, I _see_. It's because..." he looks nastily at Blue," you're on a _leash _now. So _t__h__is _ is what becomes of guard-dogs like you and me when you collar em up!" 

That finally sends Zero's vision into _red. _

Blue hears the tearing, beastial noise that thunders from his throat as he lunges at Geelo, and it sounds less human than anything than anything has heard from him up till this point. Blue knows how far gone Zero's pain and rage truly iswhen he strikes out at his opponent like a hurricane-an unholy battery of slicing claws and unchecked rage-nothing like his usual cool, calm precision, his mercenary training. 

_ “Oni!!”_ Blue cries. 

Zero doesn’t hear him; he continues to tear at Geelo, who dances away with exceptional speed. Geelo, apparently, hears him though. “_Ha! _ I always knew he was your weak-spot!” The rodian taunts. He screws up his face and coos: “ _ Oooh-nii!”_ In responce, Zero delivers another ear-splitting roar, which could only be enhanced through the cracks of his visor. He swings at Geelo, all of his typically fluid and powerful motions muted and painful. _Slash. Swipe. Dance. _Geelo's speed is more than a match for him in this state, and Blue feels cold dread seeping into his chest. “I tried to tell Tryst,” their opponent continues. “And Bacta, too. But they didn’t _ get _ it. They just don’t _ see _ things like I do...“There is an explosion of cork and wet leaves as he misses Zero and strikes a palm tree instead, severing it in two.“...don’t _ feel _things like I do.”

Blue cries out as a flash of a pink burns through the air, striking Zero and sending him gasping in pain. "_ZERO!" _

“But _ I _can see you. I can _feel_ you, Agent Zero._” _He points his lightsaber down at Zero's crumpled, fallen body. “The _ Force _ feels you. Feels your _ weakness. _ For _ him._” He rolls his head towards Blue, a malicious smile spreading across his face. “And: just _imagine_ what will happen to _ you after _you _ lose him!" _

_No! _Blue is transfixed in a kind of mute horror at the sight of Zero, his chest rising and falling in ragged huffs, a dark, bloody scorch mark in the meat of his chest. _THINK! THINK OF SOMETHING!! _Like a visions pulled out from his deepest nightmares, Blue sees Zero broken and beaten, unable to get up, and he himself stranded and powerless to protect him. _No. It can't end...not like this..._

"Tell me." Leenik demands. His humor is gone: he is now positively _shaking _with rage. As he toes at Zero with the edge of his boot, he commands his fallen opponent: “Make your boss tell me again how I’m _weak_.” He strikes out at Zero, kicking him, sending him gasping and bleeding. “Make him tell me how _weak_ I am. How I am not _good_ enough. And ow I will never, _ ever_ be someone _strong_ enough, _good_ enough, to _rule the stars_.” 

Blue is shaking at the rage in Geelo’s voice. At the terror of Zero’s imminent death. At the thought of losing everything, even now, so far from what he thought was home.He feels as though he might vomit or faint. He clutches at his head, desperate for his pounding brain to conjure up a genius idea. But nothing happens. Nothings is coming to him. And there is nobody, no person, who will come here to save them--to intervene, on their behalf--

_Then. _

In that moment-all around them-the landscape _shivers. Transforms. _The air becomes _heavy_ and still—as if the simple movement of head upon neck is done with great effort. Rocks are floating on air, suspended as if gravity has relinquished all of its power. Fallen trees and uprooted branches ripple, as though emerald seaweed beneath Iloh’s waters. Upon his skin, Blue feels a trickling, electric shiver of power. Something _happening._ Some_one _is happening. 

_“_Leenik_. Honey. Stop this._ Right now.” 

Aava Arek hovers before them. Her hands are hands splayed out, open wide, and her eyes are aglow with tremendous, quaking power. With the Force moving all around and within her, the world melts and moves in the palm of her hands. Blue feels reality shimmers and distorting at the edge of his vision, blurring his eyesight into tears. 

“You don’t want to do this.” He hears her voice reverberating inside of his bones, of his head. It pricks at Blue’s skin. “The only weakness here would be to kill them.” 

Leenik Geelo falling down to his knees. He sees him drop his lightsaber, closing it with a soft _ hiss. _

“I know who you are, Leenik Geelo." Aava's voice resounds. "You are _good_. You are _worthy. _You are _strong_. And: this is _not you.” _

Leenik is heaving deep sobs from his chest. He digs his long fingers into the dirt, dropping his face towards his hands. Clean, clear tears are trickling down into the sand from his high-cheekboned face, and he looks as if he is utterly lost. 

“Be _strong_, Leenik Geelo." she says. "Be _brave_. Be _good. _Let them _live_."

The Force-witch settles her feet down upon the ground. Walking across the open space, small rocks drop from the air and scatter around her. Her short, dark hair billows around her head like a cloud, and purple lightning crackles up and down her arms and hands. When she reaches Leenik, she drops on her knees into the dirt. Settling down next to him, she throws her arms about his shoulders pulling him close to her chest, as though he might break. 

Blue doesn't understand. He doesn't know _how_ Aava has these words within her, or _why_ they have impacted Leenik in this way. All he knows is that--as the rodian man clings to her, crying--that their fight is now _over._

>>>

  
  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue and Zero choose to be vulnerable, because some decisions are best made together.

>>>

Blue watches the slow rising and falling of Zero’s chest. _Breathing. Steady. Alive. _

The first few hours had been _ terrible._ Between the long pauses in Zero’s breath and the erratic skips of his heart monitor, Blue had found himself clenching his teeth so tightly that his head had pounded and his eyes watered. But then, _ finally _ \--after _ far _ too long for Blue’s liking--the bacta pads had began to kick in. As the medicine unfolded upon Zero’s body, his tense motions and ragged gasps were reduced into the quiet snores of restful sleeping.Thus, as darkness descended, and a scattering of unfamiliar stars were painted upon the night sky, Blue had _ finally _ released the breath that he’d been holding so long in his lungs. 

Zero is going to be _ alright. _

They cyborg lays quietly on the cot of their canvas sleeping tent. Through the open and fluttering doorway, Blue can hear the distant, muted sounds of evening: insects chirping, frogs croaking, moths humming, waves hushing. It washes over his stiffened body in a relaxed melody, and he groans at the welcome relief of the tension. 

He _ hadn’t _ been ready for Zero’s near-dying. 

On the whole, Blue is _ used _ to danger and crisis. He’d been by Zero’s side for _ countless _ life-threatening occasions--included times when he used his own hands to repairing Zero’s injured or outdated tec. But the times in which Blue had seen Zero fall into _ painful unconsciousness _ ? These were were _ extremely _ limited. And so he _ wasn’t _prepared to stay up alone with this gut-wrenching feeling uncertainty if his best friend could ever wake up again. 

Upon the cot in which Zero is sprawled, he gives a grunting, contented snore. 

Blue sighs, letting the familiar sound wash over him, just as much comforting as the musical night breeze. He drops his pale, freckled chin in his hands, sinking into a posture of exhausted contemplation. He still finds it _incredibly _ strange that he’d fallen in love with this man. When he’d first gone about the process of hiring a bodyguard, Blue had wanted nothing more than to prove to himself and others that he was the most ruthless and untouchable _ star _ of the Empire. An assassin--chosen for his outstanding kill-point and unmatchable record--was just the asset he needed to solidify his impressive climb. And _ yet. Somehow. _It hadn’t gone that way. Somewhere, at _ some _ point--between Zero’s many times of saving Blue’s life, managing Blue’s tantrums, beheading Blue’s enemies, making Blue’s kaff, ignoring Blue’s advice, tolerating Blue’s ramblings, untangling Blue’s messes, heading off Blue’s disasters, reporting Blue’s messages, attending Blue’s galas, and generally making Blue’s pathetic existence _ matter _\--Zero had worked his way into Blue’s heart. 

It was..._ inconvenient. _

Blue had come to rely far more heavily upon his bodyguard than he’d ever expected, desired, or anticipated. And he had not expected this, because Blue did not care much for _ (or excel at) _ what people generally called “relationships.” He _ never _ had. Perhaps, it was because his own family had revealed to him how very _ little _ love mattered in powerful marriages; Perhaps it was because he always known that he preferred the bodies of men; and such affairs were often discouraged among the breeding-bloodlines of elite. Regardless, Blue did not consider it a detriment that he was not an outgoing, flirtatious romantic. Upon those _ rare _ occasions in which he did find himself attracted to another person, such situations always resulted in a brief, dissatisfying ending for Blue. Far too much work, high risk, and little reward for someone as busy he with his work in the Empire.

There is a snuffling sound as Zero rolls over in his sleep.

Blue’s eyebrows perk up as he sees a projection of “Zzzz” trailing their way across his screen, brightening and fading out of existence. It makes him smile; _ at least some of my tech is well-made enough to survive this damage. _ He should have known, _ long _ before Zero agreed to go with to the Gala, that he was enamored with Zero. Blue’s endless time and attention poured into Zero’s specialized tec should have been a tipoff, if anything. But, as it was, it took him far longer than it should have for him to realize that Zero was, in fact, a _ man; _ and _ much _more to him than that. He was a man that he trusted in, wanted in, could not be apart from. 

He remembers the first time that he realized Zero was more than a personal weapon.

It had been a particularly bloody mission: some nasty business involving a hive of Geonosians which had led, through unfortunate circumstances, to their ‘roughing it’ back to the safe pickup-point. After several difficult days and nights, all the bitching and tension had come to a breaking point; and, in the midst of a firefight, Zero had lost every last shred of patience with Blue, and forced him bodily into a nearby crevasse. As he'd pressing him in with the shield of his own body, Blue had found himself wholly surrounded by muscular, sweating, heavily-breathing gank. Pinned to the spot-both by his own mind and by Zero’s very _enticing_ body-Blue had made some _startling_ realizations. As he'd tilted up his chin up to gather his bearings, he'd found himself pressed chest-to-chest, thigh-to-thigh, against Zero’s compact frame: and deeply enjoying it. He'd noticed the way that his bodyguard's powerful arms shook just slightly above him, bracing and protecting him from any danger. He’d _ also _ noticed the way that his thick, muscled chest was heaving and sweaty, winded from their sprint; how it made the chords of his arms and neck jump out in sharp relief; how clear, salty beads of sweat dropped from Zero's throat and unto Blue’s face. It had come in a sudden, forceful rush then: the _w__anting._ Blue had almost moaned at the surprising _hungriness_of it, caught unaware by his sudden _need _to have his bodyguard closer. Driven by that acute and sensory impulse, Blue's mind had conjured an image that was different-and yet so much the _same-_as this particular moment: Agent Zero-still sweating and heaving above him-but pressing down upon _him,_ and with_ intention._ Moving a_gainst _him. _Inside _him. 

The trail of pixellated _“Zzzz”_ scrolling across Zero’s mask have faded away into darkness. Blue finds himself leans forward as he hears what could be quiet murmurs beneath Zero's breath. 

_“Oni?”_

He inches closer, watching Zero closely: his ebony skin; his wiry fur; the rugged patchwork of metal mechanics. In the low, flickering lamplight, it appears that Zero is already moving--and Blue has to resist the urge to reach out his hands, to run them across Zero’s hot, _ living _skin--in order to reassure himself that all shall be well. _"Zero?... _” He whispers. “...Are you back here with me?”

It all happens suddenly: Zero’s abrupt and violent awakening sends him shuddering back, grasping at his chair. After such a long, sitting stillness, the sudden tensioning of the gank is startling: his body tensing, throat snarling, arms singing out wide, as if to strike an attacker. "Zero_!” _ Blue yelps. “Zero, it’s _ me! _ It’s _ okay!” _The gank whips his head around wildly. Blue knows that Zero is still waking up from the sedation, and that he is likely searching out the source of the noise in his confusion. For a sick moment, he feels a thrill of real fear shooting up his spine. “...It’s _ me. _ It’s _ okay.” _ To Blue’s _ great _relief, Zero’s shoulders relax. All at once--just as suddenly as he has woken--his spine bows, shoulders slump, and whole body collapses. When Zero’s back makes contact again with the stiff, medical mattress, he lets out a moan of pain and exhaustion.

“Z-zero?” Blue tries again. “You doing okay?” 

When Zero responds--voice still thick and heavy with sedation--Blue feels a great, pleasing rush of affection._“...Blue...?” _This time, he cannot help but reach out for him. Blue allows his hands to stroke over Zero, coming to rest with fingertips caressing his forearms.“....What _happened_?....Where _am_ I?....”

“_Easy_. You’re in _ shock._” Blue informs him. “You were injured during a battle on Iloh. Upon which we have been hiding out. From the Empire.” He gulps, throat dry. “After…_defecting.” _The silence is long. For a moment, Blue fears that Zero has forgotten. But then, the fearsome thrum of adrenaline weakens as Zero gives his head a slow nod. 

“Yeah...I remember that.”

_ “Good!” _With a sigh, Blue runs his hands up and down Zero’s furry, bare arms. “Okay. So you remember: we’ve been hiding out from the _Empire_. We crash-landed on _Iloh_. You were _hurt_. And that made things _complicated_ when we ran into some old friends on the island.”

Zero is turning head on a swivel, back-and-forth, side-to-side, as if he is feeling it again for the first time. _ However-- _ given the grunting sounds that he’s making--it is not a particularly _ nice _discovery. “_F-friends?” _he finally slurs. “Is t_hat _what you’d call them? I thought it was..._Leenik Geelo _was..._threatening _us. With a_ lightsaber. _How is that friendly, again?..." The familiar sarcasm is so warming to Blue's heart that it makes his face break out into a stupid grin. 

“Right! You _ do _ remember!” It feels as though it’s the first smile that he’s had on his face for days. Maybe, forever.

“Yeah, I do. I _said_ that I do. So what the _kark _was that?” Zero asks. His voice is slowly becoming clearer, more intelligible now. “I didn’t think that just _anybody_ could be a _force-user_.”

Blue leans back in his chair. His eyelids feel heavy and gritty, his jaw and shoulders and sinuses ache. But Zero is _alive. _And he’s _talking with him. _“Me neither. No _ idea _ what that’s all about. But. I sure am _ glad _ that Aava Arek was there once again to bail us out of a difficult spot.” 

Zero chuckles at that, amused. Immediately, he hisses in pain. “Yeah. She’s always been good at that.”

_ “Careful!” _Blue urges. There is a long, serious silence between them--until Blue realizes his hands are still resting upon Zero’s forearms. Thinking of how he had so recently sat astride Zero’s hips--had dug his nails into that tender flesh--Blue quickly withdraws them. Perhaps thinking the same, Zero clears his throat.

“Okay, then. Help me understand: _ why _ are we still _ alive _ right now?”

Blue has also been wondering about this question. "Oh. On that...I’m _not sure.”_

“Because,” Zero says slowly: “It sounds like I _ wasn’t _ just dreaming. We _ did _ run into a Force-wielding enemy while I was down. _ So, _ if things had gone the way I’d expected, you and I _ should _ be dead in that jungle somewhere.”

Blue nods his head. “Yes. That’s what I would have thought, too. But the crew of the _ Mynock _ continues to be… _ unexpected.” _

“The _Mynock_?” Zero looks shifty, as though he might try to get up from his bed. “The whole _crew_?”

“Yes! _ And--” _ Blue raises his hands hurriedly, “--_Apparently, _ Aava and the rodian had some sort of ‘bonding moment’ when we were all last at BHIKKE. So, I guess they have been developing a kind of secret _ friendship _ along the way? Long story short: she saved our lives again. By onvincing Leenik Geelo that we were worth saving.” He shakes his head, smiling wryly. “I suspect that, _without_ her, we would have been _pudu_.”

Zero projects eyebrows-raised, eyes-wide. "_R__eally," _He replies, sounding thick and skeptical. "Because of _ friendship _ , everything’s _ cool _ about our past? Nobody balked that their former _ oppressors _ were just waltzing into their camp, consuming their goods, and risking their highly sought-after security...just because _ ‘friendship good’?! _” 

“It _ is _ ludicrous,” Blue agrees. “Although...it wasn’t _ quite _that simple.”

“Go on.” 

“Aava Arek convinced her Rodian friend that we were okay...but we still needed to talk through it with the rest of them. And, as you know, we’ve had our..._differences_ with Valentine’s crew in the past.” 

Zero growls. _“Tryst threw you off a building.”_

Blue nods. He doesn’t disagree with the sentiment. “_Yes. _And: you removed Leenik’s arm. _And_ Aava kidnapped and threatened Tamlin. _And _Bacta and Synox had bad blood, from the clone wars." 

“All true." Zero agrees.“Plus, Trystan and Aava have fucked_._” 

Blue waves a hand in dismissal. “Don’t _remind_ me! Anyways--After that clone doctor, _Bacta _they call him, got you stabilized--Aava and Leenik had us all sit down and discuss a potential truce. Once we’d properly hashed out our grievances, things started to go..._surprisingly _ well. We actually had a sit-down conversation. There was even a _clipboard_ and everything!” He shakes his head in appreciation. 

"You _do _love a good clipboard." Zero affirms. 

“By the end of it," Blue continues, "Even the Twi’lek scientist was on board. But ultimately, if I had to guess who was responsible for this whole thing working out? I would have to say that it was the kid that accomplished it.” 

Zero cocks his head in confusion. “_The kid?” _

“Tamlin Jorun,” he replies. “The other Zabrak Force-user. Remember the child who Aava attempted to train with the Night Sisters, stirring up all of this mess in the first place? Turns out that he is…” Blue goes silent, searching for the appropriate words. He doesn’t like children on principle. But _this_ child..."He’s different.” Blue summarizes ineffectually.

Zero stretches his arms above his head, groaning from the effort. “So what did he say, then? It must have been something _ very _ good, to convince even _ you _ , mr. _ex-youngest-minister-of-propaganda_.” 

Blue frowns. He shifts uncomfortably in his chair. “Umm,” he says, trying to remember. “Something about: ‘_running from a similar enemy’ _and _‘fighting together for a cause we believe in.’_ That seemed to settle the matter.” When he is greeted with a sly, smirking emoji, Blue is perplexed. _ “What?” _

“Don’t tell me” Zero says affectionately, “That you’re going _ soft _on me, Blue!” He crosses his arms. “_Fighting a common enemy _ ? _ Teaming up for a cause we believe in _?” Zero continues. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you just joined the Rebellion!”

It’s not an insult, exactly; but it still _ stings. _ With Blue’s upbringing in the Empire, he thinks of the Rebellion as a place only for bleeding-heart, optimistic, teenage _ idiots_. “I haven’t _joined the Rebellion_!” he protests hotly. “I just acknowledge the logic of working together when it’s presented to me! It’s clear enough that even a _child_ can see right now that we are more likely to survive if we consolidate our _mutual resistance effort_s!”

Zero smirks at him. 

Blue _isn’t_ amused. His partner's gentle teasing has filled him with yet another, new and awkward embarrassment: among the many things he had not prepared for were the questions now bouncing around in his head about _life_, and its _meaning_, and his given _role_ in it. _Tired,_ Blue thinks._ I’m just. SO tired. _He drops his head in his hands. “What would you have me _ do otherwise, _ Zero?” He finds himself saying. “We are at a _ standstill _ ! _ You _ are in no condition to fight, and _ Aava _ is the only one of us who can do any kind of critical damage. Without my words or office, I’m..I’m _ worthless _to you in these situations!” Blue knows that he shouldn’t be spiraling. And yet, without meaning to, he finds himself forced to verbally continue. “Right now? We’re basically _ fucked. _ We have no _ ship _ . No _ leads _ . Nowhere _ else to go _ . And, for all we know, this will be our _ only chance _ at evasion, _ ever, _ given our pursuers. I don’t even think we have a _ choice _ here, Zero! We _ have _ to do this, or _ else, _ or _ else _ it’s _ over! _ We’re _ dead _” 

_ Calm down, _ Blue thinks to himself. _You're beside yourself. Don't let your stress kriff up his recovery. _Taking a steady breath, as Aava might do, Blue forces himself to be quiet. In the distance, he can hear the gentle lapping of waves upon the sandy shore. He scrunches up his face, tries his best to tune into the soothing rhythm.

"...Blue?" Zero's voice carries softly over the quiet of the room. 

"What?" 

_"...C'mere."_

Anxiously, Blue edges to stand just above Zero’s head. He wishes that he also had an opaque layer of transparisteel to cover his face in a mask--to protecting him from the shame and fear that others could so clearly see written there. “Are you in pain?" He whispers to Zero. "Do you need me to get something for you?” Even through the haze of his anxiety, he cannot help but stare down at Zero as though he is the most beautiful and perfect person that he's _ever_ seen. Blue's best friend has just been _returned_ to him: back, as if from the _dead_. And not only is Zero alive right now, but he’s _right here_, with _him,_ and _talking._ Fully restored.

Zero reaches up, tugging at one of Blue's hovering hands. “I said: come _here. _To _me_.”

Blue stares down at him stupidly. _What does he mean? Does he want me to...? _ Blue isn’t sure how to receive this invitation. Yes. He wants desperately to be closer to Zero. Tentative, awkward, he shuffles closer, bowing his head down towards him. _He wants a...kiss, maybe?_

He sighs impatiently. "For _Forcesake_, Adnau!" Zero growls, voice carrying a tone of command. " Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of _ genius _ or something? I want you _ closer to me!” _

_OH. _Blue _freezes_. He doesn't _mean _to; he just doesn't _know _what to _do. _

As if reading his mind, Zero mutters “_Here." _He reaches up and to grasp at Blue’s shoulders, pulling him down towards his reclined body. Blue is forced to bend his knees and climb onto the cot in order to follow Zero's instructions--and he finds himself arranged directly above him, braced with rigid and trembling arms, so that he does not apply any additional pressure.

Zero eyes Blue’s stiffened posture. “You got somewhere to be?” he teases. 

“Um, n-no...” 

“Then_ relax!” _Zero says. His voice gentle, for all of its firmness. “And _stay here with me_ for a while. Would you, _please_?”

Blue gives a shaky nod. If he didn’t trust Zero with his own life, he would be pulling away right now, doing his best to avoid further injury. But if _ Zero _ is okay...if _ Zero _wants him...The night is warm and quiet. He hears himself release a shuddering sigh as Zero’s clawed hands smooth down his spine, come to rest, huge and heavy, upon his bony hips. For the first time in days, Blue feels solid. _ Anchored. _

“....Alright?” 

_“Yes.” _

_More than alright. _

They haven’t done..._ this _ before. And Blue finds that he _ likes _ it. On the night of the Gala-on that first, unfathomable night, in which they had _ finally _fallen into the same bed-their gestures had neither been gentle nor eloquent. They had been been rough, needy, _fra__ntic. _Awash in victory and desperation, Zero had _ torn _ Blue’s clothes his body; clashed their hot, searching mouths together; forced his long, clawed fingers down Blue’s gasping throat before thrusting into him, _pounding _him into the mattress. 

Blue, of course, had been _more _than willing. 

And yet: there had not been any tenderness. No gentle “_How’s this?”_ murmured covertly against each other’s skin. Every gesture had been a declaration of their repression; a frustrated, _furious_ fucking against all their commands, and those who would dare oppose them.

They hadn’t so much as paused to take off Blue’s hologlasses. 

While that night had been _good_, this good is...even _better. _In _ this _ moment, they are both soft, sober, _ exhausted._ Here and now, the thrill of excitement still pounds in Blue’s ears: but it does not threaten to derail and _consume_ him. He does not feel the desperation that this might be his last and final moments, driving him towards the edge of his need; instead, he is allowed to basks in the warm, gentle _ intimacy _ of Zero’s touch. And, in this, he finds himself able to close his eyes and rest; simply _ feeling _the sensation of lying close to the person he trusts more than anyone else. Blue inhales deeply, serenely, savoring this moment. To his muted curiosity, he finds himself breathing tandem with Zero as they rest together here in this moment. Gradually--as his eyelids begin to slide closed--he even thinks that he feels his heartbeat drawing even with Zero’s. _One. And Two. And Two. And One. _

“...What are you thinking about?” Zero murmurs sleepily. They’ve been reading each other’s body language for so long that Zero is able to tell how Blue’s mind is working without even looking at him.

Blue smiles, and nuzzles his way into the warm, musty crook underneath Zero’s arm. “I’m thinking,” he replies sleepily, “That we are _ crazy_.” He can feel the humming vibration of Zero purring inside of his chest. The sound flexes his core and abdominal muscles beneath where Blue is resting, and he resists the urge to groan in contentment. _So good. _

“...And how is that different than usual?” 

“_Defecting_,” Blue whispers. He breathes in the earthy, comforting scent of Zero around him, blocking out all his fears of the world. “Forming an alliance, with our former enemies. Dropping everything that we know and hold dear. Starting life over.” 

“_Your_ old life.” Zero yawns. “Not necessarily _ mine_. It was never what I even wanted to begin with.” 

Blue considers this. “And what is it that you really want, Oni?”

The words slip out before he can stop them. Blue immediately bites down on his lip. _Kriff! Too much! Too personal!!! _He'd let the comfort of this moment slip away from him, lull him into that stupidly-vulnerable place once again. Like earlier in the day, amongst the flowers, Blue feels keenly aware of his exposed, hopeful emotions. He and Zero have always shyed away from expressing their direct feelings; is it a breach of protocol to do this now? While they are doing..._this?_ After all, they have only been doing..._this…_for a few days now. And Blue isn’t sure about how to ‘_do things right,' a_nd he doesn’t want to break this fragile, new thing. 

_ “You.” _

Zero says it so simply that Blue almost forgets what question he's asked. He says it so honestly, so _directly_ to him; as if not a _revelation__. _ As if it is not the most difficult, dangerous, _ beautiful _ thing that’s ever happened to Blue in his _entire_ _ existence. _

“It’s always been you, kid.” He murmurs to Blue sleepily. “If we’d stayed with the Empire…” With a steady, gentle hand, he traces a line from the back of Blue’s head to the point of his chin. “I don’t know if we’d ever have..._got here. _To..._this." _Zero cups his face in his hand, and Blue knows that he is trembling as Zero presses their foreheads together. 

Blue's eyelids flutter closed. He can’t look at Zero. _“Ask me?_” He whispers.

“Alright.” Zero agrees. His fingertips outline along the edges of Blue’s fragile nose; his eyelids; his brows. “How about _you_? What is that _ you _really want, Adnau?” 

Skin burning, heart racing, Blue turns his face to rest in Zero’s hand. He sighs into the open, accepting tenderness of it. “I want _ you.” _he whispers. _ “_I want you, too. _Zero_. My _Oni.”_

He can hear the rhythmic sounds of the ocean. The crash of arrival. The sigh of departure. As they fall asleep there together like that--hands entwined, sheets forgotten about their ankles, listening to the sounds of the ocean and lives starting over--he thinks that can hears Zero’s voice murmur: “It's decided, then. You are _mine_. And I am _ yours. __And nobody else in the galaxy_ gets to decide that for us.” 

>>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uffda. This chapter strained me like none of the others. I think it's because I REALLY wanted to get it right. Anyway. Please leave me a kudos or comment. I want to hear back on this story from you.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue chooses to unlearn some old habits and try some new (better) ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: NSFW! If you're not a fan, just read until the "beach campfire" bit, and then feel free to skip ahead to the next chapter. You won't miss anything vital.

>>>

Until very recently, the Mynock Crew had been the bane of Blue’s existence. Now, he struggles to imagine his life without them. 

Lyntel’Luroon is a _ fascinating _ companion. Clever and clear-headed, Blue finds himself easily drawn into regular intellectual conversation with her. He even begins to follow Lyntel back to her ship in order to assist with regular maintenance and surveillance. On the outset, he is uncertain why she is willing to tolerate him; after all, she had been the most wary of the Bluebirds in the first place. However, Zero suggests _ (only half-joking) _ that she might “have a higher tolerance for assholes than usual” due to her practice with the Mynock boys. Blue _ (begrudgingly) _admits that there might be something to that analysis.

As much as Blue enjoys the company of Lyntel, he cannot _abide by _Captain Trystan Valentine. If the Force wanted to craft some kind of ‘character sheet’ for Blue’s exact opposite, the result would be him: cocky, outgoing, flirtatious with _every_ living thing in the room--_including _Zero! It seems as though every comment out of his lips is innuendo, and Blue finds his company _tedious_. _(Not to mention, _distracting_: Tryst has a habit of wearing too-short, thigh-high kimonos at _all_ times of day and night; which, in Blue’s opinion, reveals _far_ too much skin). _

Blue finds Bacta pleasant, even _soothing_, after making through their initial encounters; because, at first, it _hurts _to be around him! While it is not intentional, the clone often and _vividly _reminds him of _Synox_: right down to his expressions, his laugh, and his daily mannerisms. And yet, as time slowly passes: Synox’ betrayal and death begins to hurt a little bit less. And, with that time, Blue also finds himself actually _enjoying _his time sitting in the kitchen with Bacta; allowing the familiar sounds of his lilting Mando accent to wash over them, along with the good and comforting smells of dinner. 

Leenik Geelo is what you might call a_ ‘different bird_.’ Alternatively quiet or loud, friendly or aloof, shy or aggressive, the Rodian is equal parts intimidating and... _ adorable _ ? Blue is always careful when he is around him, never quite forgetting that he had almost been Zero’s demise. But _ Zero, _ however _ , _ is so _ reckless _ with his affection for his fellow bounty hunter that it makes Blue _ jealous _ from time to time. He often finds himself watching the pair of them spend their afternoons sparring together or bugging Aava _ (and, once in a while, strutting around in Tryst’s heels). _

Aava and Tamlin have also grown very close. When she is not meditating alone by the waves, she is training the young Zabrak boy _ (and, often, Leenik) _ in the ways of the Force. As Blue _ (and, really anyone) _ can clearly see: Tamlin is _ thriving. _At first, he had thought Aava was teaching the boy out of obligation, guilt or pity; but he quickly discovers why the crew of the Mynock has risked everything to protect the child. Tamlin Jorun is talented, kind, and wise beyond his years. And-- in the thoughtful and generous way that the boy shares himself so readily with others-- Blue has a feeling that Aava is doing her late Sister proud in the way that she is raising her son. 

And--to his _ great _ surprise--Blue finds himself thriving in the Mynocks’ unorthodox lifestyle as well. 

It had not been an instant adjustment for him. He had been _ bored. _ All of these strange, luxurious hours of _ sleeping _ and _ eating _ and _ playing _ and _ rest _ !? How was someline like Blue supposed to survive this, after his adaptation to a prior lifetime of inconsistent, high-intensity, 72-hour-sleepless nights of unending _ work?! (In the beginning, he’d simply calculated ongoing equations inside of his head just to keep the insanity at bay)._ And yet-- _ gradually _ \--as Zero’s strength returns; as Aava’s eyes brighten; as Blue finds himself gathering even more freckles sun-spots--it occurs to him that he’s _ never been happier. _

Blue learns that the Mynocks, somehow, have learned that he did not yet know: how to _ live, _ and truly _ enjoy being alive. _ With _ others. _ And he _ learns _\--from them, and with the other Bluebirds--more than he ever thought possible. How to surf the crystalline, dancing waves; how to bake and paint a handmade, earthenware sculpture; how to tell ghost stories around a beach campfire beneath a glittering sky full of stars.

How to spend a long, lazy morning in bed. 

Zero stretches languidly, groaning softly at the stiffness of his limbs. Last night had been quite an effort for him--well, _ both _ of them--and he doesn’t blame him for being _ sore. _The gank huffs with quiet laughter as Blue tickles the bare, fuzzy skin of his cheek with a soft line of kisses. Lately, he hasn’t been wearing the mask.Not when it’s just been the two of them, together.“M’supposed to be on _ guard duty _ this morning...” Zero murmurs his words only half-heartedly. He shifts just the barest minimum away from Blue. 

Unsatisfied with this suggestion, Blue nibbles into his kisses with more teeth.“Leenik will take care of it.” he replies. He allows his words to flick the surface of Zero’s sleep-warm skin. Zero groans--as if Blue is the most _ insufferable _ person this side of the galaxy, and _ not _ the person he had been mindlessly fucking into the mattress just hours before. The thought makes Blue _ grin. _“C’mon, Oni: _ up an at ‘em!” _He moves his attentions from Zero’s downy cheek and towards the ridge of his jawbone. 

Zero makes a sleepy, playful protest and swats at him. "_Force, _ you’re insatiable. You _ know _ that, right, Blue?” 

Blue nuzzles his nose a bit more into the soft, downy place behind his ear. “I didn’t get where I am today because I wasn’t _ambitious_._” _

Zero shifts into his touch, sighing in contentment. _“Mmmmnnn….” _Without warning, Blue sinks his teeth _ hard _into the unsuspecting flesh. “--_ FUCK!” _ Zero hisses, _ not _in displeasure. “Blue, kriffing _ Space-Jesus!!” _Smirking, Blue sucks into the bite. _ (With skin dark and lovely as deep space, Blue cannot leave Zero with a shining mark. He knows; he’s _ tried_). "__Again?” _ Zero asks him, mock-wearily. Blue makes a humming sound of affirmation. He resumes working his way down the stripe of Zero’s organic skin until it meets the metal plating of his armored shoulder, where he once again resumes his biting and kissing. 

“If you can _ manage.._.” Blue pauses to pout his lips, bat his eyelashes. “I mean: if you think that you still have it in you?...After all, you must be _ tired, _ poor thing?...I wouldn’t want to _ overwork _ you, Zero.”

The cyborg snorts, and rolls over to face him. As always, Blue’s breath catches within his chest when Zero looks back. He is just so_…beautiful. _Whatever Zero thinks of his own face--and no matter what he protests when Blue takes to praising him--the man is, scientifically, _objectively_, handsome. He has thick, plush lips; a curved, even nose; long, dark eyelashes framing his organic eye. His teeth are sharp, predatory, and jagged like knives; and when they flash from beneath the curve of his mouth, it takes Blue’s breath away. _((Fine, okay, yes: Zero _does_ have a scar that runs down the side of his face, and it _does_ leave him with somewhat twisted lips and one eye cybernetic eye. But how is that different, Blue always argues with him, than the famously-dashing, ‘Face of the Empire,’ Clone Commander Synox??)) _While Zero may despise what he thinks of as flaws, Blue thinks he is _perfect. _Zero is _exactly _what appeals to him most: Big. Sexy. _Dangerous_.

And-outside of his patchwork of fur and his weaponized arm-Zero is practically just like any other man. Only: _better. _

Zero rolls his eyes, making an irritated sound. He pushes himself up on those thick, _glorious _arms and allows Blue to wriggle beneath him. “_Me_? I’m not worried about _me, _Blue: I’m _built _for endurance...” He lowers his full weight down upon Blue, pressing him into the sheets_“(Mmmmnn! Zero!”). _“...I just wonder how much more you can _take_, Adnau. Do you really think that you still have it in _you?” _He gives an ominous thrust. 

Blue releases a long, _ filthy _moan as Zero’s building erection knifes into his belly. _Better, indeed! _ “Not _ yet._” He replies, doing his best to sound lucid. Zero tilts his head to the side. “It’s not _ in me yet.” _he clarifies. “And _ don’t _ you make promises that you won’t keep!”

Now it’s _ Zero’s _ turn to groan. “_Kark, _ Blue. You’re so _ annoying_.” But he tugs both of Blue’s scrawny arms from where they rest at sides, and he pins them tightly above his head, and he restrains him there, moving against him with purpose. 

”_Oh!_ Mmnn, _yes...!_” Blue moans again, showing Zero his appreciation for the way that his grip wraps bruisingly around his skinny wrists; how his enormous, clawed hands are so big that he can easily hold him within just _one_ of his. “....But _ you _like me…?” he pants.

_ “Yes.” _Zero grinds his hips down into Blue’s pelvis, slowly and heatedly getting them off. “Unfortunately? _Yes. _I..._do.” _

Delighted, Blue bites the inside of his cheek and rolls his hips. His heartbeat is rising, his skin flushing warm, his cock pulsating into interested hardness. Every sensation is excellent, skin-prickling, and shudder-inducing.As the movement of their thrust increases, Blue lets his head roll back on his shoulders. He allows his jaw to hang lazily in an open-mouthed pant, harmonizing with Zero’s soft, grunting tone. 

Sex with Zero is everything that he’d ever hoped for or imagined. For years prior, Blue had been dreaming and _ aching _ for Zero to throw him against the nearest armaments storage and _ take _ him _ (not that he’d _ encourage _ anyone to go pining after their lethal, 10-plus-years-senior bodyguard). _And—to his delicious astonishment—Blue had not been far off in his fantasies: Zero’s intuitive, precise, passionate touches; his impossibly strong, firm, searching hands; his fluid, unstoppable, powerful movements.

The sensual, scorching buildup of pressure.

“Zero? Can we…?”

Blue butts his forehead impatiently against Zero’s shoulder. By now, he is _more _than ready: being in his early twenties has _some_ advantages. Zero, however, is not so young; and neither is his lover in a great hurry. He growls, deep and low in his chest, letting Blue know that he needs to slow down.

“Just: _ give me a minute, _ would you? Kriffing, _ impatient _ thing…”

The reverberation of the feral slug d curls deliciously inside of Blue’s chest and core, through his stomach and pelvis. He basks in the sound. For all of his heated imaginings, Blue had never _ once _ imagined that Zero might want actually want him back; at least, not in the same way that Blue wanted him_. _And yet--these days, in this lifetime--Zero’s desire for him is undeniable.The reality often lays Blue out bare: he can _ feel _ the truth of it, the vulnerability of it, in the way that Zero shakes whenever he approaches; in the way that he gasps out Blue’s name as he comes; in the way that he receives Blue’s thirsty kisses in each aftermath, each gesture shouting louder than words: _I love you. I love you. I love you, too. _

“_Ah!” _

Blue gives a sharp intake of breath as Zero’s free hand strokes slowly and skillfully over his back and shoulders. There is just a suggestion of pain as his free hand strokes over Blue’s fragile skin, his claws stop just shy of leaving red marks. 

“...Okay?” 

“_Very _ okay. _ Good.” _

He’s fortunate, really, that Zero’s been with so many partners. Occasionally, the thought keeps Blue up at night: _When? Who were they? What did they mean to him?_But the results of Zero’s experiences are undeniable: he is a thoughtful, passionate, and generous lover. He listens and speaks carefully, and teaches Blue how to communicate his needs and to receive the needs of others _(not one of his innate skills.)_As each finger drags slowly, intimately across Blue’s chest, down his navel, between his thighs—it occurs to him once again that he has learned _much _more than he might have on his own. 

For all of that: Blue has _ never _claimed to be patient. 

He is feeling especially restless in this particular moment, as Zero’s hand is curving behind the back of his legs, pressing and grasping inwards towards the cleft of his ass. 

"_More!" _

“_F-fuck!” _ Zero mutters, thrusting two fingers into his slickened hole. “You’re still so _ open, _Blue...” 

Well...he isn’t _surprised_. Zero had pounded and _pounded _his way into Blue last night, making stars crackle before his eyes in the darkness. As he’d clung to the pillows in front of him, sweat pouring down his back and pooling between them, he’d only _ just _managed to avoid waking the entire residence. 

“Only the best for you, dear.” he responds dreamily. _(The only thing that Blue likes more than Zero filling him is when his voice shakes, tense and needy just like he’s doing now. It brings him closer to the edge than even having any hands upon him would do). _Shifting his hips for a slightly more pleasing angle, Blue gasps when Zero strikes him even deeper. Okay. Waiting _over_. “_Aah! _You can--_mmmf!_ Zero? You know you can--_oh!--_go to town any--_F-FORCE!--_any time that you’re _ready_…okay?!”

Thankfully, Zero doesn’t need telling twice. Blue’s stomach swoops and lurches as three fingers slide out of his hole, leaving a wet trail upon his skin. His lover's grasp is bone-tight upon his wrists--_just the way that Blue likes it_\--as he reaches out and grips the wing of one of his hips. He pulls Blue even closer to him, crushing their hammering chests together. _“Get on top of me."_ Zero orders.

_And who is Blue to disobey?_

It’s not like he’s Zero’s _boss_ anymore. (Lately, it seems almost a bit...the _other_ way around. Which Blue likes even _more_ than he'd ever admit). With Zero’s assistance, he clambers on top of his hips, angling his knees back towards the head of the bed. “Ready?”

_“Ready.”_ Zero pants_, _voice destroyed now to gravel. “_Now. N-need_—!” 

Zero and Blue groan in tandem as he settles down onto the slick, weeping head of Zero’s dick. It’s so _ right. _It’s so hot, slick, satisfying, _ right. _Blue feels like every molecule of his body singing with the _ right-ness _ of it as he slowly, _ achingly _ sinks down upon the crest and ridges of him. Like the rest of his body, Zero’s cock is _ massive. _It’s also organic--which had been a pleasing, while _unexpected_, detail for Blue. While his anatomy is not quite the same a human male’s, all the basic principles are still there: Blue had learned the hang of it quickly enough, with Zero’s careful direction. 

“_Fuck, _ Blue!” He growls, making that delicious vibration spiral once again through Blue’s core and chest. “Fuck, fuck, _ FUCK.” _Zero grits his teeth, baring his fangs as he works his dick slowly into Blue's body. As the familiar drag of prominent ridges and veins slide within his hole and inside of him, Blue doesn’t remember-doesn’t _ care-_what anyone else ever felt like. This is _perfection. _

“I t-think you mean _K__riff,’ _he corrects his lover. This earns him a particularly savage thrust. _“KRIFF!” _ he yelps again, making Zero chuckle.

It is true that Zero is-as Raxus once said-a _nurturing _ creature. He likes taking care of Blue: sweet, gentle things like tucking him into bed, kissing his freckled forehead at night, rubbing his knobby, pale feet after they take a hike on the beach. _However. _For all that Blue savors his caretaking touches, he _still_ loses his _goddamn mind _ whenever Zero gets _ firm _ with him like this. He just can’t deny his appreciation for the gank’s..._rougher _edges. 

“Okay?” Zero asks him. _(It's a perfunctory question: they are both _more_ than okay. But Zero is _Zero_, and so, he will _always_ ask him). _Blue nods in reply. He shifts back and forth, inching Zero inside himself further.

“I’m getting _ better,_ Zero. Now that we’re _ nearly _ there....” He rocks his hips to emphasize his impatience. 

Zero laughs, gripping on to the back of Blue’s skull with both of his enormous hands. “Oh. My. _LORD.” _He closes his eye. “Blue: _ PATIENCE! FUCK!! _You’re going to be the _ death _of me, Blue. I just _know_ it.” 

Blue groans throatily as Zero thrusts upwards and into him, completing the rest of their joining together. His shaft is almost beyond what Blue can take: but he savors every second of it. The tightness; the heat; the _intensity_ of it. “Awww…_Zero_…” He pants out the words, nearly at the point of unfolding. “You...don’t have to call me..._Lord..._anymore...Don’t you…._remember_….?” He bats his eyelashes. "I've been thoroughly shitcanned." 

Zero’s organic eye flies open. He stares up at Blue with an intense, nearly _furious _gaze. There is something deeply possessive and wrathful about it, and it makes Blue shudder with its intensity. “Yeah...’Think I _do_..." Zero growls. "Something or other...about..._Fucking _ your _ alien bodyguard?_” Its all nearly lost from there: Zero pants, open mouthed, shifting his hips. Blue keens as he begins to drive harder and faster, pistoning into him with a renewed desperation. Blue’s fingernails bite into the back of Zero’s hands, clinging to the fists that grip him and drive him down, up and _ down _again upon his thick shaft, as he feels all the world unravelling with him. 

_“Y-Yes!” _he hears himself crying out. _“Yes...Zero!...They_ were..._right_...y-you are..._mine…!” _

If Zero had been wearing his mask, he would likely have projected a heart-eyes emoji. As it is, Blue gets to see that revelation moving across his look: a fierce, blazing love that consumes his soul.”_Yes_.” his partner agrees. "You are _mine. _And I am _yours." _

Blue's head falls back on his shoulders. He loses himself in their bright, breathless motions. “Then...you b-best.._.g-get on with it__...and...f-fuck me."_

Whatever retort Zero has for Blue’s comment is drowned out by their mutual, delighted groaning. Blue clings to Zero--as if he is the only Force to hold on to, the only thing that holds him together--and he feels his world, once again, shifting profoundly into place.

He is where he _belongs. _He is _home. _

>>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Covers Face* I'm still working on pacing and such with my NSFW, so I hope you like it! Let me know what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue and his crew consider if they want to join up with the Rebellion.

>>>

A beach bonfire crackles, spitting chunks of charred driftwood into the darkness. As each cluster bursts from the flames, sparks hit the wind and scatter to ashes. Firelight dances over a small crowd. They are a varied crew of humans and aliens, women and men, and one of their number (_ asleep) _is less than ten. Some of the crew are stretched out on blankets, reading the stars; others are passing around a bottle of wine between them. Each one dreams of becoming something _ more _with their lives. 

“But we don’t even know if the contact is good!” Bacta insists. The clone is seated in the sand, leaning his back against a water-smoothed sitting log. One of his arms is slung around Leenik Geelo’s shoulders; the other is pointing a finger accusingly at Captain Tryst Valentine.“For all we know, Zara could have cooked up that information just to get her revenge!” 

Tryst rolls his eyes. In lieu of response to Bacta’s appeal, he lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a long, sucking pull of the wine. 

Across the fire, a burnt-orange Twi'lek nods in agreement. “Your instinct is not wrong, Bacta.” Lyntel’luroon says. She is leaned back-to-back against a Dathomirian woman, arms crossed as she ponders the sky. “Zara is not to be trusted. While she does have the best access to the information we need, I’d rather not rely upon her...or any of her crew.” 

“It’s fraught.” The woman behind her agrees. Aava Arek stretches her pale and delicate fingers across the fire to pluck the wine bottle from Tryst. He pauses, frozen in a comical pucker, the dark kiss of wine staining his lips. “Any way that we can guarantee her trustworthiness? Or, if not, her silence?” She sips. “I think that it’s only a matter of time until the Empire finds us...and I’d rather that we be proactive with our options before they can.” 

From his perch within the lap of a helmeted figure, a ginger-haired man suggests hopefully: “We could always just _ kill _ her, after we’re done?”There is a murmur of general distaste from the party. The man under him gives an annoyed groan. 

“_We?” _ Zero asks, shifting his head to consider Blue. His mask projects a pixellated series of question-marks. “Like. As in, the _ royal _ we? Because: I’m _ not _ doing that. You’d be stuck with trying to _ talk _ her to death.” Several of the others around the fire chuckle.

Blue frowns with impatience. “Why not?” 

_“Why not?” _ Zero echos, shakes his head in wonder. “Blue, man: I can’t always spell it out for you. There’s something off about backstabbing every one of your allies when they provide you with life-saving information. Not the best protocol. Alright?” 

Blue sniffs. “It would be much more efficient.” 

From where he is reclined against a water-smoothed log, Trystan Valentine laughs. Aava sighs, and Lyn raises her brows in disbelief. Bacta shakes his head. “Sometimes, buddy? I wonder how we actually ended up on the same side.” Beside him, Leenik smirks and elbows him gently. 

“How indeed!” Blue agrees.

The strangeness of it had occurred to him countless times before. With a resigned shrug, he leans back against Zero’s warm chest. It’s been just over three months since their crash-landing on Iloh; and so much has changed within this short time. Old enemies have turned into friends; best friends have turned into lovers ; and lovers have even suggested that-- maybe-- they ought to do more with their lives.

That maybe they ought to join up with the Rebels. 

Had someone reported to Blue at any point during his life before Iloh that this would be his future, would have immediately upended his scalding-hot kaff over their head. A Rebel ? Him?! And His Crew?! And yet--as another week upon Iloh goes past; as the Mynocks become ever-closer allies; as the boredom of vacation creeps under his skin--the image of this becomes more and more clear. Zero had outlined it for him. They could--with all of their various and gathered resources, actually, maybe, do something to help take down the Empire. Because, as it stands, they have an excellent crew of individuals: Zero and Leenik are trained, former bounty-hunters; three of their number are competent Force users; the clone-doctor, Bacta, has insight to military training and endurance; and all of the Bluebirds have insider knowledge. _(Not to mention, Blue’s hands have been itching to get back into tech-gloves. Even though all of this laziness has been pleasant, he misses the days when his mind was a whirlwind; eyes drowning with input behind blue glasses, fingers skimming over an endless stream of data.)_ It wouldn't exactly be ‘running the holo.’ But it would be...something. And Blue was feeling ready. Restless.

Because--for all of his excitement about future slicing--Blue has also been feeling tremendously..._guilty. _

It’s not a feeling that he’s well-acquainted with; and it often keeps him up at night. Joining up with the Rebellion means that Blue would actually have to face where he comes from, and what he has done. And that’s not really within his...skill-set. Historically, Blue is not known for managing his failures. But he would have to face them, if they did indeed join up with the Rebellion. Because it would mean intentionally dismantling the system that he had actively helped to create. A system that had, for generations, meant the oppression, occupation, and genocide of themselves and/or their loved ones. It is no small thing for Blue engage in what Synox once called ‘a touch more introspection.’ Blue finds that it too often leads to nightmares. 

“You’re looking a bit maudlin there, champion.” 

Blue startles. He hasn’t realized that he’s been sitting for an unusually long episode of amount silence. It seems that the crew of the Mynock, like theBluebirds, have grown accustomed to his nearly non-stop chatter. “Penny for your thoughts, Minister?” It’s Tryst, of _ all _people, and he is offering Blue the bottle wine. Blue reaches out warily to receive it. He lifts the bottle up to his lips with that mixture of irritation and surprised-gratitude that he so often feels when the captain is around. 

“Don’t call me that!” Blue replies. “As you _well _know, I’m not a minister anymore.” He takes a drag from the bottle. He _ promptly _ spits it back out. _“_BUH! _ Wha _ t the-- _ why _ the-- _ kar _!!” Zero thumps Blue heartily on the back as Tryst, Bacta and Leenik all laugh. Dark droplets spatter out from his mouth and fleck the sandy beach below. “Why does anyone even drink this foul liquid?!” 

“It’s called _ al-co-hol._” Tryst annunciates slowly, as though Blue is _ stupid_. “And you’re supposed to put it _ inside _of your body.” 

“It’s not...it’s...this wine is _ terrible!” _ Blue wipes at his lips. “Where did you even get this?!”

The five Mynocks laugh. “Trade secret.” Tryst shrugs. “But I promise you, it’s a good vintage.” 

Blue sticks out his tongue. From behind him, Zero purrs in fond amusement. “Maybe you’ll like it when you’re a bit _ older_, Blue,” he tells him soothingly. The sound of his purr is low and throaty, and it vibrates out from his chest against Blue’s back. Unamused, he swings his elbows backwards at Zero, trying to strike at the meat of his thick chest. (_He misses). _

“Drop dead!” Blue snaps. Even though he is now solidly older than the youngest person within their crew _(Tamlin, and by more than a decade)_, he is still stung by age comments whenever they are lobbed in his way. 

“Aww, c’mon, Blue.” Zero says easily. He pokes at a gap in between Blue’s ribs, making him twitch. “It’s all in good fun.” 

He huffs and wriggles away. Aava and Lyntel laugh, shoulders shaking and bumping together. Bacta smirks, and Leenik sweeps back the long, curling wig hanging over his eyes to reveal a smile. Tamlin stirs just slightly in his sleep, murmuring against the pillow of his hand. With a sigh, Aava pushes her way up to standing.“On that note, we might as well put the kid to bed. It’s getting late, you know.” She nods at Blue, not Tamlin. 

“_Traitor.” _Blue hisses back. “Traitors, the lot of you!” 

_"Defectors._” Zero corrects. He hoists Blue up and into his arms, carrying him in a loose bridal-style. 

“I will dismantle your programming!” Blue promises threateningly into Zero’s thick chest. “Just you wait! And I’ll take apart all of the--” 

“Try to keep your threats to a minimum, Freckles.” Aava interrupts. Infuriatingly, she pats his head as she walks by. "You don’t want to strain yourself at this hour.” 

“_Easy_ with the freckles!" Blue sputters with outrage, balling his hands into fists. “Am I too _ old, _ or too _ young?! _ And--Lyntel! _ Leenik! _ Quit _ laughing at me!” _

Zero gives Blue a little bump in his arms, effectively forcing his lower jaw shut. “Goodnight, everybody!”

“Goodnight!” 

“G’night!” 

There is a chorus of partings that follows them as they depart from the campfire. As Zero, Blue and Aava walk away towards their tents, they can hear the fading sounds of Leenik’s cheerful laughter and Tryst plucking upon his ukulele. 

It's nice. 

They walk in quiet, comfortable silence for a brief time as they make their way to the tents. The Bluebird camp is composed of weathered, army-green squares of fabric, just enough to keep of the wind and rain. Zero and Blue are in one; Aava is in the other. There is a shadow of palm trees that covers them from the heaviest weather, and the outcropping of coral that shelters the Mynock is also an added protection. 

It was all never meant to be more than temporary. 

As they reach the mouth of their tents, Zero asks Aava softly: “So. What do you _ think _ about all of this?” Blue looks up at Zero’s dark visor. The gank is looking away from him, but he can still feel the stiffness of the gank’s body suggesting his tension. 

“All of what?” Aava asks. 

“Joining up with the Rebels. Working purposefully against the Empire.” 

Aava sighs. She pauses outside of the mouth of her tent, resting her hands on her elegantly curved hips. “I think that I’m alright with it.” 

Zero makes a quiet, prompting noise towards her. 

“I didn’t think that I would be, at first. But then... now. Now, I think that it might be worth all of the danger and effort-- especially if we want to stay alive . Because, make no mistake: they are coming for us. All of us. Blue is too valuable with information to be left alive. And I wasn’t exactly low-profile in my work with the Inquisitor.” 

She gazes up at the sky. Zero hums in quiet agreement. 

“The longer we have powerful allies,” Aava adds, “The longer we are going to last out here. One way or another, we’ve got to survive.” 

Blue cranes his neck, attempting to see both of their faces better. He feels Zero’s stomach muscles clenching, but the darkness of his visor makes his expression inscrutable. “It’ll be alright.” Zero murmurs. There is a rare, weary edge in his voice; one that Blue associates with exhaustion. “We’ll get through this together. We’re...gonna be alright.” 

Aava looks back over at Zero and smiles. It doesn’t touch her eyes. “Together.” She agrees. “Goodnight, Oni. Blue.” She nods and walks into the shadow of her tent. 

Zero sighs. Pulling Blue tighter into his chest, he ducks and steps through the flap of theirs.

The tent has faint glow from the dim, solar-powered lantern, and its light casts a warm gold over their scattered belongings. Blue’s few items and clothing are strewn about in haphazard piles; Zero’s belongings are lined up neatly in tidy rows. Their bed is a patchwork of collected, soft blankets _ (which Blue insists upon, despite the heat of the island). _Zero deposits him there, still appearing to carry his physical tension. 

“This _ Zara Zoacite _ sounds sketchy as _ hell_.” Blue provides. He scoots himself down in the bed, worming his way under the most choice of blankets. “I don’t like our having to work with her. But if she’s really the best information broker out there, then we don’t have much of a choice. And, obviously, I’m not afraid; between yourself, Aava, Leenik and I, we should easily be able to put up a fight.” 

Zero snorts. He releases the seal of his helmet, then sets the two shells aside. Turning to face Blue, he crawls into the nest of their bed. “Between me, Av, Leenik, and _ you?” _ His voice does _ not _carry the confidence that Blue hopes he inspires. “Sure, buddy. You got it.” 

Sagely, Blue nods. He scoots himself closer to Zero, sighing with contentment as the warmth and the contact of his partner’s body mends him back together. _As long as we have each other, _he thinks. _ Zero’s correct. We will be alright. _“You up early in the morning?” 

“Aav’s got first watch. But I wouldn’t say no to surfing with Lyntel.” Blue grumbles a bit at that. Zero’s arm smooths over the skin of his back, pulling Blue in closer. As he is folded into the familiar comfort of Zero’s body, the gank makes another one of his soothing, purring rumbles. Blue feels his eyelids growing heavy. Just before he falls asleep, Blue hears Zero murmur: “Hey. Blue?” 

Blue’s forehead wrinkles. He’s fading into sleep fast, but not enough for the hesitation to pass his notice. “Wassat.” he asks sleepily. 

“I don’t know what this is about. And I don’t know why. But I don’t think…” Zero inhales. Exhales. “..I don’t think that Aava’s been....entirely _ honest _ with us.” 

Eyes still closed, Blue frowns. “Whaddoya mean, Oni?”Even though Zero’s voice carries a thread of anxiety, it’s hard for Blue to feel worried when the gank’s steady, strong heartbeat is under his cheek.

“Like I said: I don’t _ know. _Aava is...like...my best friend.”

“_I’m _your best friend.”

“Yeah. You’re my best friend, Blue. And Aava Arek is one of my closest friends, too. She always shares everything with me...everything. You know, back when she hooked up with Valentine at BHIKKE? I was the first one to know about that.” 

Blue groans. He rubs his nose into a thatch of fur curling on the organic part of Zero’s chest. “Get to the point.” 

“No matter what happens, Aava’s always had my back. And I’ve always got hers. But, lately…” Blue nearly dozes off, Zero is quiet for so long. “...Lately? I feel like she’s been deliberately keeping something from us. That she’s worried about it. And that this thing she’s hiding...it’s _dangerous.” _

The idea does really not bother Blue. Everyone has _ secrets. _ Blue himself had pined for his alien bodyguard more than five _ years _ before he would have him! Aava had never really told them the story of why she’d left the Night Sisters to become a Hand; and Zero? He keeps a _ mask _ over his _ face. _“S’fine.” Blue yawns into his chest. “It’s all fine. Just let Aava Arek have her privacy.” 

Zero makes an incredulous noise. “The kark you talking about, former _imperial_ _minister of propaganda? _Mr. _hacking everybody’s secret messages?” _

“Guess I’m growing a little.” Blue murmurs, letting himself fade into the darkness. “Zero: stop talking, and get some rest. 

>>>

When Blue wakes, the sun is already high in the sky. It is another _ beautiful _ day upon beachside Iloh: the seabirds are calling, the palm trees are swaying, the tide is crashing in white, roaring waves. Across the dappled green, Blue can spot the familiar scene of Bacta hard at work over a grill _ (and Tryst lounging about, being useless). _ As he yawns, stretches, and crosses the space between them, it appears that Bacta is preparing yet another delicious meal. Today, it seems like a grilled, seasoned mixture of swordfish and rice; and the spicy aroma is making his mouth _ water _. 

“Hi,” Bacta nods, offering him a smile as he approaches. 

Tryst pulls his sunglasses down his bronzed nose.“Hey there, _ Little Boy Blue _!” he greets. “Got yourself some beauty-sleep this morning, eh?” 

Blue does his best not to grit his teeth. _It’s too early. It’s too early to get drawn into this. _“Don’t call me that. _ Please._” He sits down next to the pair of them upon the sandy ground. The smells of charred fish, salty ocean breeze, and Valentine’s tanning-oil waft to his nose. 

“Oh, don’t get your little bluebird undies into a twist. You’re not in trouble or nothing.” Tryst slides his shades back over those long, luxurious lashes. “When’s Oni-Chan joining us?” 

Blue frowns, confused. “I thought he went out surfing this morning with Lyn?” 

Bacta and Tryst shoot looks at each other. The clone turns back to Blue, shrugging his broad shoulders apologetically. “Lyn just got back from the beach a few minutes ago.” Bacta says, scratching the back of his neck. “But Zero wasn’t with her. Did he maybe...go out to the training spot? I was just about to call the others anyway…” 

Blue can take the hint. He pushes up from his seated posture, sweeping sand and bits of sand from his knees. “I’ll check it out.” he replies. 

“Don’t take too long!” Bacta calls after him. “Dinner’s almost ready!” 

Following a narrow, foot-worn trail into the brush, Blue makes his way deeper into the island. Immediately he is enveloped by green: the lush, sun-drenched leaves; the wire-thin, curling vines; the sweet, honey-smelling bunches of ferns. The sounds of the ocean quiet behind him, and the soft _ drip _of plants and the hum of insects surrounds him in a pillow of silence. Disquiet easing, Blue picks his way down the jungle path. After a few, pleasant minutes of walking, Blue reaches a circular clearing of trees. Stepping into the familiar space, he can hear the muffled sound of voices talking somewhere close by. 

He looks up to discover several, floating figures. 

Aava Arek looks relaxed and content. Her short-cropped hair sways in the light breeze, and her legs are crossed dainty over one another. Tamlin Jorun, attempting to emulate her, is also cross-legged and floating; but where the older Zabrak’s eyes rest gently closed, his are screwed up tight in concentration. Naturally, Leenik Geelo is doing his own thing entirely: the Rodian man he has twisted himself into such an acrobatic posture that it is almost _ absurd _. His knees are pulled up and over his shoulders, feet behind his ears, while he floats with the Force-users. 

“I didn’t realize,” Blue smirks up at them, “that your training is actually just_ aerial_ _yoga.” _Aava doesn’t open her eyes. She does smile slightly, however. 

“Hello, Blue.” She replies serenely. “Care to join us?” 

Tamlin giggles at that. Then, just as suddenly, he goes toppling down with his arms swinging wildly. _“Whoops!” _Panicked, Blue hurries forward to assist the boy--but he pulls up short when he hears Tamlin giggling. Looking up in confusion, he also sees Leenik is shaking with laughter, too. 

“_Woah! _ Aava!!” He calls. “ _ Check it out: _ I think I that I actually _ felt _that!?” Leenik drops to the ground. He is practically _ glowing _with pride. 

“Very good, Leenik.” Aava affirms. Blue watches, mystified, as she descends to join the others. The way that she lands so gracefully upon the balls of her feet makes it as if this space-magic is ordinary, and not something incredibly rare and special. “You’re really getting the hang of it now.” 

“_Thanks.” _Leenik says, breathlessly pleased with her praise. “It was like: a _ kick _ . Or a _ disruption _ . Sort of: all smooth water on the surface of the pond? And _ then? Suddenly?...” _ the rodian spreads his slightly-webbed, suction-cupped fingers. “... _ BOOM!” _Tamlin laughs out loud. 

“It felt like that too, Uncle Leenik” the boy grins. “_Boom.” _He looks much more cheerful than what Blue would have imagined for someone who’d just fallen nearly ten feet. 

Aava walks across the space between them, pausing to rest a hand upon each of the arms of her two students.“Both of you have really grown in your sensitivity, and it shows.” She smiles at them warmly. Blue feels his eyebrows raise in surprise. _ She actually...enjoys this, _ he realizes. _ Teaching. Teaching them in the Light Side of the Force. I hadn't...expected that. _He steps into their circle, feeling a bit outside of the conversation.

“Well, I know that I don’t _ get _ this whole _ Force _ thing,” He says; “But you folks sure have a _ strange way _ of showing _ concern _ for a kid when he falls from the sky!” 

Aava, Leenik and Tamlin chuckle. Tamlin springs forward, twining his fingers around Blue’s own. His pink-glitter fingernails drum on the inside of his palm.“Thanks for caring about me, Uncle Blue!” he smiles. Blue flushes; the child’s casual friendliness always catches him by awkward surprise. “But don’t worry. I’m alright.” The child gives their entwined hands a squeeze. For some reason, this makes Blue feel even _ more _ acutely embarrassed. He drops his eyes to the ground, avoiding the knowing smile that he’s _ sure _Aava’s giving him._Tell me again who doesn’t like kids? _

“Oh. _ Right _. Good. I’m glad to hear it.” 

Leenik, still brimming with excitement, bounces over. “Hey, Blue! Lunchtime?” 

“Yeah. And, er...nice work on the..._ feelings _ today?” He’s not quite sure what to say--but he knows that it’s time for a compliment.

Leenik blinks his large, dark galaxy eyes. He grins with amusement at Blue’s genuine effort. “Thanks, I guess!” 

Relieved, Blue nods back at him. 

“Lead the way,” Aava instructs. "After all those 'feelings,' we are _starving." _As the four of them walk away together--Tamlin and Blue still holding hands, Aava and Leenik following behind and chatting amiably--Blue wonders when they had fallen into such easy, familiar companionship. He hadn’t known how much that he’s always wanted this. He doesn't know if he could stand to lose it. 

>>>

When Zero doesn’t show up for lunch, Blue feels confused. When the dishes have been completed, and the Force-users have returned to their training, Blue feels annoyed. And when Lyn goes out to check on the surf--Bacta and Tryst stay up from their regular, afternoon hammock-nap in order to help him brainstorm where Zero may have gone--Blue is losing it. He’s beginning to outright _ panic. _

“It’s unusual,” Bacta agrees. He’s using that soothing voice--the one that he often gives Tryst, when he wants him to settle down--while he watches Blue pacing back and forth. Blue is wringing his hands, cursing and muttering under his breath. _More than unusual. Unsafe. Unkind. Zero _ never _ disappears from me without a word; not without leaving a note, or a deadline. He knows better than that. He knows how I _think. Even Tryst is looking concerned. He is rubbing thoughtfully at the sparse, dark-blonde stubble of his chin, and his eyes are squinted in concentration as he runs over the possibilities.

“Well: he didn’t go back to the ship. Lyntel already checked on it just before lunch, and there hasn’t been any sign of him near.” 

Blue gnaws at the edge of his dry, lower lip. He tastes the iron tang of blood, and he winces. “And he didn’t go back to the crash-site.” Bacta says, scratching his head. “Aava did the perimeter check past there earlier this morning, and everything was still undisturbed.” As Blue traces the ground between the Bluebird tents and the Mynock camp, he stomps his feet into the ground. It does little in the way of reducing his anxiety. “No chance that he just wanted a little Z-Time?” Tryst asks hopefully. “Went off on his own on purpose, because he didn’t want anybody to bother him?” 

Blue pinches the bridge of his sunburnt nose. _Patience. Force, give me the patience. _“Zero doesn’t go and ‘_take a little Z-Time!’” _he snaps. (_Whoops._ _Not _patient_.) _“At least: not without _saying something _to _me _first! He’s not _working_ for me anymore, but he’s also not an _idiot! _He _knows _better than to just--just--_disappear on me! _Not after _all this--!” _Blue _ knows _ that his voice is now reaching hysterics; but he also knows that something is _ wrong: _ he can _ feel _it. Just as he had on the day of Executive Order 45. Terrible images flash before his eyes. _Zero. __ZERO. __Where the _ KRIFF _ is he?!_

The sound of footsteps draws their attention, and all three of the men turn. 

Blue feels his heart leap up into his throat--only to come crashing down, as he sees the dripping form of Lyntel’luroon. She is in her black wetsuit, and is heaving strained breaths. “He’s not at the water.” She pants. “And he’s not anywhere else near the beach. I circled the whole _ island.” _ Blue’s stomach clenches with horror as Lyn looks from himself, to the ship’s captain, the doctor. “Bacta? I don’t _ like _this.” 

Bacta steps forward. He puts a reassuring hand upon both of the Twilek’s dripping, gold shoulders. “Okay.” He says, voice strategic and calm. “Okay, you’re right. I think that we’d better run through one of our plans.” 

Blue’s head snaps up from where he’s been examining the sand for Zero’s footprints.“Plans?” 

“One of our emergency strategies,” Bacta says levelly. “What, did you think we had all those clipboards just for the _ fun _ of it? We’re _ organized,_ around here.” 

Blue feels a flush of relief, starting centrally in chest and radiating out, rushing into his bones. These people who had, for so long, been his enemies are now--without any shadow of a _ doubt-- _they are his friends. Because they are going to help him find Oni. They’re going to make things alright again. “Thank you.” he says, sagging with relief. “What do we do first?” 

Tryst pushes himself up authoritatively from his lounge-chair. Under other circumstances, it would be an amusing sight to see the captain give orders whilst clad in only his G-string bikini.“Lyn? You’ve already checked the water; so you head for the Mynock, and prepare the ship for emergency exit. Plan to meetup at the rendezvous point.” Lyntel nods. She turns and departs at a sprint, leaving her surfboard stuck in the sand. Blue watches, impressed, as the crew falls into swift and serious order. He’s _ never _ seen them like this. Never seen _ Tryst _like this. Like: the man who could actually be a captain, and one who watches out for his crew in times of danger. “Bacta? Get the ER kit up and ready to roll." Tryst further commands. "We’re going out to the rendezvous point by foot, and it could very well be that we’ll run into an injured gank while we are on the way out there.” 

Blue’s stomach _ writhes. _He tries not to let this statement about Zero affect him.The former clone-trooper gives Tryst a compulsive salute, then departs. 

“And Adnau?” Tryst continues, turning to him. “You go to the training spot and get the Force-users. _ Quickly. _Bring them back to camp, and don’t stop to grab anything other than vitals. Aava and Leenik know the meetup point, so they’ll get you there.” If it were other circumstances, Blue would find a way to argue; but right in this moment, he simply marvels at the efficiency at which the Mynocks are ready and deployed for danger. _If all Rebels do this, _ Blue thinks, _ no _ wonder _ the Empire is currently failing. _Tryst gestures impatiently at him. “What are you waiting for? Get _going_!” 

Blue wags his chin like a bobblehead.As he turns and runs into the forest, he can hear the sounds of Tryst and Bacta talking softly and concernedly behind him. _Zero. __Got to find him! __Got to get to him in time, got to tell him--_

>>>

This time when Blue arrives at the training sight, everything is terribly _ wrong. _There are large, wet streaks of mud pulled across the ground, as if something heavy had landed there and been dragged. Trees and bushes are bent in strange angles. Several snapped twigs are scattered against the ground. An abandoned water canteen lies half-open, bubbling a small, slight trickle of water. If they had indeed been here, they must not have left not long ago. 

“Hello?!” Blue calls, pitch rising sharply. “Aava? Leenik? _ Anybody?” _He spins in a circle, trying to determine if he can hear them. _Nothing. _The forest is oppressively silent. And the scene is not a reassuring one, either. _KRIFF! _Blue scratches the inside of his skull for a plan. Tryst had told him about the plan _ once _ he found the others; not _ if _ he found the others! As it stands, Blue has _ no _ idea what he ought to do at _ all. _ He doesn’t know where the others are _ (it looks like they might have been in a conflict, or hurt?!) _ and he certainly doesn’t know where the rendezvous point is located for their meetup. 

He swipes an arm across his sweating brow.He feels his heart jumping up into his throat, threatening to burst out with his Adam’s apple. He needs to _think. "__Okay.” _Bue pants to himself. “Okay: just: it’s _ alright._” He doesn’t believe the words for a _second_. But he has no other options, and so, he’s going to have to do what he does best: _talk his way through it._ “Alright, Adnau: just: let’s get back to camp. First, get back to camp; next, find Bacta and Tryst; then, you can tell them about the others." 

There is a strong, quaking tug in his knees as Blue starts back up the winding path._What could have happened to them?! _ _ Three Force-users? Who or what could possibly have enough power to apprehend _ all _ of them?! _ _ Unless...they were ambushed? Unless there has been someone here, planning this? _Not keeping close enough eyes on the ground, Blue’s foot twists sharply, and he finds himself falling. He cries out as his knees hit the earth, and his hands flash out to catch himself before he falls on his face.

_Great. The last thing I need is another head_ injury_ right now! _

Stunned, Blue breathes on the ground for a moment, gathering himself. Then, he struggles to push himself back up to standing. The flare in his ankle is immediate, hot and _ painful. _“_Ouch!” _he hisses. He draws in air through his nose, doing his best to keep his eyes from watering. But he thinks of Order 45. Of springing down the hall, lungs burning, reaching for Zero. _Fine. Yes. Okay. I sprained my ankle. But I still gotta make it back to camp. _Determined--yet still wishing fervently for his long-lost cane--Blue limps his way forward through the tangle of trees. _I__’ve got to find Zero! __I’ve got to find everyone!__Got to figure it out, got to tell--_

Blue sees the light at the end of the forest clearing. He’s going to get there. He’s going to find them all, waiting for him. He’s going to find Lyntel laughing, with Zero’s arm around her shoulder, whilst his best friend/lover/life-partner explains to them all that he’d simply gone out for a morning surf, and had just wanted to do it by himself, prove it to them that he could stand on his board. He going't to get there in time, he just knows it. 

Blue doesn’t get there.

>>>

The world is _ dark. _ And his head _ hurts. _Moaning, Blue turns his stiff neck to the side, shaking his head in a silent _ ‘no.’ _ The croak of his voice makes his head sharply and suddenly ache--as though a space ice-pick is being driven through one of his eye sockets. "_ACH!” _ He gasps. “Wha? _ W-what the _…?”Blue doesn’t know where he is. He doesn’t know _ what _ he is. Hurt, it seems like: because, like his head, Blue’s tongue feels _ thick. _He tries his best to gaze into his brain, trying to force synapses into alignment, but all he finds is a dizzying greyness. _I was running, _he thinks. _ I was running, and I was trying to get back to camp..._Something about this word makes his heart flutter. Trying his best to remember, Blue scrunches the skin of his nose. 

The result is a nearly _skull-bursting _explosion of light and color behind his eyelids. 

_ “Kark!” _Blue gasps. A shudder of pain runs through his whole body, alighting most emphatically upon his sore head, his old, injured leg, and his newly sprained ankle. _Right. I was trying to get back from the training area. Something was wrong--_

Blue’s eyes burst open. The action is a stabbing pain to his already aching head, although the world around him is dark. _A cave? _he wonders. There is the sound of quiet, dripping water, and he can smell the earthy musk of lichen and seasalt. _Most likely a cave, then. _He groans and allows his eyelids to flutter closed once again. _How the _ kriff _ did I end up in a cave? I was just about back to camp, and I…_his head gives another angry pound. It seems as though trying to think--trying to activate his senses, and remember what exactly has happened--is triggering some sort of deterrent. As though someone has _ drugged _ him. An enemy, who knows about his particular set of _skills. _ With a building feeling of unease, Blue once again forces his eyelids open. Slowly, so as not to trigger his residual feelings of nausea, he sweeps his gaze over the cave. Things are fuzzy: his glasses have been removed, so he cannot see clearly. What he _ does _ see is, unexpectedly, familiar _ shapes: _The circular form of a military bed roll. The white-and-red curl of a bucket. Trying to sort out his confusion from horror, the hairs on Blue’s neck begin to prickle. He has a feeling that he’s being _ watched. _

“Hello, Minister." A familiar, Mandoa accent speaks out from the darkness. Blue feels his heart skip a sickening, shocked beat of surprise.

“...I’ve been _really_ looking forward to this," Clone Commander Synox declares. 

>>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't we just stay on the beach and be happy? 
> 
> Why do all these bad things keep happening to our good crews?! 
> 
> SYNOX, WHY DO YOU KEEP HURTING YOUR FAMILY?!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can anyone choose to start their life over? No matter what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some mild gore and violence ahead. 
> 
> Recommended that you watch / know of general Clone Wars lore beforehand.

>>>

Blue’s head is pounding. His heart is stuttering. He cannot believe what he’s seeing before him: 

_Synox. _ _Clone Commander Synox. _ _Back from the dead. _

He looks much like Blue remembers him. _ How could he forget? He’d been part of the design team behind his programming. _ Synox’s red, cybernetic eye glows from behind heavy scarring. He is broad-shouldered, muscular, and his gaze holds that lethal intensity that would make any agent of the Empire proud. He is bearing slight signs of wear--the stubble of several days’ mission, the tan of walking beneath Iloh’s sun--but he stands just as tall and as proud as any of the trained, Imperial officers. And although he has traded out his white-and-red shell of clone-trooper armor for a pair of casual, civilian clones, he looks ready to march into battle as Blue’s ever seen him. 

“Hello, Minister.” Synox says. “I’ve been looking forward to this.” 

Blue flinches at the sound of his voice. It does several things to him at once: hurts his head, twists his stomach, makes his eyes water with remembered pain. _ You died, _ Blue thinks wildly._Aava Arek killed you. You tried to betray us. _

Synox stands at parade rest, eyes fixed on Blue. A terrible smile curls over his familiar face.“You look surprised to see me.” he states, voice is cold. 

Blue stares up at him, hardly believing.

“But why is that, Adnau?” he continues. “Did you think that I _ wouldn’t _suspect that you’d fled rather than being killed in the line of duty?” His voice is rising now, louder in volume and lower in pitch. There is a shake in his shoulders, a pulse that throbs in his handsome jawline. “Or did you think that there was somewhere, _anywhere_ in the galaxy where you could hide and _I wouldn’t find you?!” _The walls echo with the impact of his shout. Shouting isn’t really within Synox’ repertoire; usually, he’s the most calm one on the ship (_aside from Aava). _While Blue is prone to high, screeching pitches and Zero is known for losing his temper, Synox is_ always_ the one to brings things back down to level.

“You’re..._ angry.” _Blue whispers. His throat feels scratchy. _ Probably the drugs. Only Sy would know to use something stronger than a stun to rattle my brain. _His heart gives a painful twist at the slipped informality. 

“_Angry?!” _Synox bellows, making Blue wince again. “Angry doesn’t even begin to _ cover _it, Adnau!” The sound of his given name strikes his ears as strange. It’s been a while since he’s heard it directed towards him in seriousness _ (since joining up with the Mynocks on Iloh, probably). _ He’s always kept the name as far away from him as possible: a bloodline moniker, useful only for marking his enemies. 

_Synox was never supposed to be his enemy. _

“Sy…” Blue begins. His head feels heavy. Each word is difficult to drag from his mouth; and even if he could talk, he doesn't know what he would say. _ I’m sorry that I failed you? That I failed the Empire? __No, _ Blue thinks firmly. _ I didn’t fail the Empire: the Empire failed me. _He hadn’t put this series of words together until this moment, but now he cannot get the thought out of his mind. 

Perhaps Synox is guessing at what is going on inside of Blue’s head, because his lips pull into a cruel, sickening smirk.

“Choose your next words carefully, Minister.” the clone commander says says. He moves from his posture at ease to draw a blaster hanging upon his hip. “You only have a few left.” It’s meant to intimidate Blue, and it _ does. _He has watched Synox march into battle with less than half of the number of his opponents in troop and still _win. _He’s known him to ruthlessly dispatch traitors; execute merciless orders; pull a blaster upon his former Jedi. Blue knows that Synox _ can, _ and that he _ will, _do what it takes to support the Empire. No matter what it costs someone else. 

Blue steadies himself. Despite the persistent nausea, he tries his best not to tremble with fear. _Keep your voice steady. Don’t look away. Don't show fear. _“Commander: you’ve done an _ excellent _ job. _Very_ well done. But I fear that you and I have a slight… _ misunderstanding. _ A communication malfunction, if you will. _ ” _

Synox had not been expecting that. The thumb toying with the trigger of his blaster falters. His dark, heavy eyebrows soften just slightly.

“Are you implying that I misunderstand _ traitors _?” the clone commander replies. There is a definite coolness in his tone, but also, a new note of uncertainty. 

“Not traitors…_ Intentions.” _Blue continues smoothly. He watches as the lower corner of Synox’ lip pulls just a _ hint _inward. _Keep going! He’s curious!_“_Yes_! Bravo _indeed_ on finding me, Commander Synox. It _truly_ takes an _extraordinary_ amount of skill to track down someone of Agent Arek or Zero’s caliber. That was no small feat, and you will _absolutely_ be lauded for that. I’ll make _ sure _ of it, upon our return, and my reinstatement.” 

Synox is looking at Blue with poorly-hidden confusion. “Minister…” 

“Synox!” Blue says. He adds a playful, fond laugh to his voice. “_ Commander _ Synox. You _ rescued _ me! Just as I once rescued _ you _ ! Thank you, thank you _so much, _ for coming to my aid.

_Lying. _Lying to save his skin. It comes as easy to Blue as talking; perhaps, even _ easier. _Blue's had to lie so many times, to so many people, for so many reasons, that his performative, charismatic work persona is almost _dominant _when he is not careful. He slips into the persona without hardly trying. “Without you, Commander Synox, I would have most _ certainly _perished here, upon this island, at the hand of my captors. If you hadn’t _found_ me, I know that it would only have been _days _until they had attempted to torture me for fine ransom. You can't _imagine _the horrors that you've delivered me from.” 

Synox’ eyebrows are pulling back into his head. _He's following me. _"...What?" the commander asks. He is not yet convinced, but his voice is halting from hesitation. “Minister Blue...Are you saying that…Are you _ implying… _” He drops the blaster to rest at his side. “I was under the impression that you had..._ defected, _Minister.”

_Perfect. _Blue sinks in for the kill.

“Defected!” Blue says with a practiced, forced laugh. “What _ever_ makes you think _ that?” _ (He makes to lift himself up off the ground, but then, his world spins. _ Nope! Nope. Not gonna do that.) _"Defected? The youngest-ever Minister of Propaganda? The _ Rising Star _ of the Empire? Synox. _ Please. Commander Synox._ I _ know _ that you’re not as familiar with human protocol as I am, but I can _assure_ you: I _ live _ for the Empire. I live to _ serve _the Empire. It is my greatest wish to expand the reach of the Empire to the outer reaches of the galaxy.”

He has a strong, irresistible image of himself sitting across from the Grand Moff, emphasizing exactly the same thing. Only, that time, he had _not _been lying. 

“What about Agent Aava Arek?" Synox asked, brow scrunched in confusion. "About...Agent_ Zero?” _

_Force. This one’s gonna hurt. _“Zero!” Blue laughs. He forces his face into a plastic, condescending smile. “Zero means _nothing _to me!"

Synox looks thoroughly wrong-footed. He shifts, looking awkwardly around the dripping cave in order to avoid making eye-contact. "Er. I was under the impression...that is to say... you two seemed to have...?" 

_Kriff. _Blue inhales until his chest feels like it is burning. "Are you crazy, Synox?" He spits. "You’re telling me that you..._what._ That you thought that I actually had some sort of _feelings _for that creature!? For my professional bodyguard? For an _alien_ _cyborg?!” _The last words ring out across the cave. There is a long, stifling silence. Blue resists the urge to turn his face away in shame. 

“I thought…” Synox finally replies, his voice wavering. 

“You _ thought.” _ Blue sniffs. “_Exactly_, Synox: _ that’s _ why you should always leave the thinking up to _ me." _He does his best to draw the rolled-up sleeves of his shirt around him, the same way that he might have adjusted his Imperial uniform back at Starkiller Base. "That’s why they _ hired _ me, and put me in _ charge, _Synox: to do the _thinking_. To make the right _decisions_.”

_I've got him. _

Perhaps subconsciously, Synox has moved into standing now at military attention. His head is bowed, and he is physically responding to Lord Adnau Wrengen’s pressure and authority. The Imperial Minister of Propaganda's authority. 

“_Really_.” Blue continues. “What _ else _ was I supposed to do, given my situation?! Those traitors showed up to _ kill _ me, Synox! The Empire cannot afford to lose the kind of information that I have stored in my brain. When those aliens came for me, I had to _pretend_ that I was on their _ side. _Of _course _you thought that I had defected. I'm _good _at my job. I needed to keep up my cover to stay alive; even after we had crash-landed here, if I ever wanted to be reinstated, and to return my data back to the Empire where it belongs." 

Synox looks upset.

Blue cannot read his mind, but he knows that there is something bothering the clone commander. But he still gives Blue a stiff, firm nod with his head, affirming that he has heard the Minister's words. _It’s not right, _ Blue thinks to himself. _ Synox _knows_ me. He_ knows _us, has lived with us for _years. _Could he really believe all of that garbage? That Zero and Aava really mean nothing to me? It's like he's predisposed to follow the will of the Empire. Like he cannot use his brain for himself. Because...nobody is _that _thick._

“If you hadn’t come for me today, Commander, I doubt that I could have held out much longer." _S__eal the deal. Say the words. He will not doubt you. _"Those _ aliens…” _ Blue coughs the word out, making it sound as though he cannot bear it upon his tongue. “...In the end, they’re all just _animals, _ Synox. _Inferior. _The Empire was _ right _to put them all down. This whole kidnapping business just goes to prove it." 

_Liar! Liar, Blue, you absolute bastard. _

He drops his gaze down to the floor, unable to maintain the guise any longer. However, Synox does not seem to notice, and so Blue releases a shaky “At ease, soldier.” Blue instructs. His throat is burning. He hears the shuffle of Synox' feat, the easy breathing as he relaxes. Then, to his surprise, he hears him speak: “I...didn’t want to believe it of you, Minister.” Synox sounds concerned, hesitant. To Blue's surprise, he looks up to find Synox has walked near, and is extending a hand. For a moment, Blue thinks that he is about to be hugged; and then, Synox rests his broad, callused palm upon Blue's shoulder. "I didn't want to believe you'd defected. Just like I didn’t want to believe it of Arek. Or Zero. Because...like you said..."

Something flickers behind his eyes. It looks as though Synox is fighting to say something, but struggling internally.

Blue frowns. 

"...I always thought of you...as my...friends..."

Several things happen at once. 

Synox gives a compulsive, shuddering jolt, clasping at the side of his head, as though he has been stung. Behind his bowed shoulder, Blue sees a flicker of color and motion emerging from the shadows, flinging itself bodily at Synox. Blue opens his mouth to make a noise, but he does not have time before the shape collides heavily with the commander: it is massive, and lethal, and _snarling. _

_ZERO! _

Blue gasps.He staggers out of the way as Clone Commander Synox and Agent Zero go crashing into the ground.There are loud, crashing, _ rending _ sounds of metal-on-metal as Zero’s cybernetic parts crush against Synox’ concealed armor. Each man is yelling ( _r, in Zero’s case, growling) _as they churn up the dust and scatter loose rocks. The sound of their fighting is shaking the walls of the cave, and Blue’s fragile head feels like it is breaking. How long Zero had been in the room, been nearby, Blue doesn’t know: what he _ does _ know is that the gank is out for _ blood, _and his claws are tearing at Synox’ open flesh. 

In his mind's eye, Blue has a flash of Zero crumpling under Leenik Geelo's lightsaber in the island woods. 

_“Zero!” _Blue yells, making himself cough. “Zero, be _careful!!” _

Synox kicks out at Zero, who ducks and rolls over the top of him. The clone commander springs up, and Zero crouches fiercely. They slam into each other one more, the impact shaking Synox' jaw. The cyborg produces a series of punches, landing a stunning blow over Synox' head with his cybernetic arm. If he still had ammunition left in his arm's weaponry, Blue knows that he would have jettisoned fire into Synox' remaining face. 

“Zero!” Blue hollers over the chaos. “Zero, _Synox! Stop!!” _

Neither one seems to hear him. The men continue their deadly battle as though he is mute and invisible: clawing at one another with reckless abandon. Synox punches deep into Zero’s chest, striking the the place that had been seared with a lightsaber; Zero rakes his claws down and over Synox’ good eye, leaving deep, welting marks upon his face. Blood immediacy wells up from the scratches, running down Synox chin and mingling with his red, cybernetic eye. 

_ Stop! _ Blue thinks desperately. _ Stop this, stop this! You’re gonna kill him!! _He isn’t sure to which man he is referring; Naturally, he wants Zero to survive at all costs, and no matter what. But he also _doesn’t _ want to see Synox die. Not _ now. _ Not _ after _ everything they have survived, they have learned, they have grown. Not after having Synox--if only for a moment--_back. _

_"STOP! SY! ZERO!" _

They cannot hear him. Zero has managed to get Synox down, and now he pins the clone to the floor. To Blue's horror, he grasps Synox head, and begins to smash it into the floor, over and over. In a gush of blood and a loud, crunching sound, Synox' nose is broken: blood pours out onto the stones, pooling in a dark, dripping trail below them. Zero rotates the clone's head to the side and smashes it into the floor again, his cheekbone and several parts of his skull breaking. 

Synox is _ dying. _

_“ZERO!”_ Blue screams.He finds himself slipping and sliding across the growing puddle of blood, reaching out for Zero. “Oni, _ stop! Stop! Please, stop this!!”_ It's incredibly stupid to get in the reach of their fight, but Blue has to do _something. _He reaches out, grasping at the back of his jumpsuit. 

For a second, Zero pauses; the movement catches him off guard. Then he swings out blindly, striking Blue with incredible impact, his claws slicing through his clothing and sinking into the thin, pale skin of his chest. Blue hears himself give a quiet “_oh!” _of surprise before toppling over. Unfortunately, his fragile head breaks the fall, and rainbows burst in front of his eyes. _"Argh!!"_ The pain erupts through his body. 

Zero wheels around, turning towards Blue with his great, leather-clad hands splayed. “KRIFF IT, BLUE!” His chest is heaving, and his fractured mask projects nothing but black. Blood and gore run down his arms, and silt sticks to his exposed patches of furry hide. One of the gears on his hip-joint has been displaced by the battle, and his posture is tilted slightly to one side. He looks _ murderous. __“Stay out of it." _There is something very off, very _ wrong _ about his tone of voice. Zero's body radiates anger, and Blue knows that it is directed at himself, too. With a horrible, sinking feeling, he knows that his conversation with Synox had been overheard. And that Zero is _livid_. 

“_Zero..._” he chokes out.

_“Shut it!_” Zero snarls wildly. From where he lays upon the floor, tangled and bleeding, Synox moans. Zero gives a sharp, striking kick to his ribs, and Blue hears the snapping of bones. 

_ “AAAARRRaagh!” _

“And I’m not through with _ you, _ yet.” Zero growls. He wipes an arm across his face, turning back to Synox’ prone body.“You tried to kill _ Aava. _You tried to hurt _Blue._ By the time that I’m through with you, _ pal: _you’ll be _ begging _for me to end it all.” 

It’s a storm of conflicting emotions inside of Blue’s chest. _ Horror, _ at the imminent death of Synox; _ fear, _ at the sheer power radiating from Zero; _ disgust, _ at the intensity of the gank’s bloodlust; _ heartbreak, _knowing that Zero still loves him, in spite of his terrible words. He struggles to get up as Zero stalks back to standing over Synox’ head. _No. Not like this. It _ can’t _ be like this. _

“You’re one tough son of a bitch, I’ll give you that.” Zero says. He digs his claws into Synox’ scarred head, cranks his chin up to face him. “But you're on the wrong side of this fight. Wrong side of _history_. So: goodbye, Synox. We _ won’t _be seeing you.” He raises his hand, preparing the death-stroke to close Synox’ larynx. The clone is not struggling: he is looking up through his swollen eye with a sense of resigned calm. Each shuddering breath is ragged and wet, oozing more blood from his nose, skull and lips. 

From his corner of the cave, Blue gives a strangled sob. 

“Bye, Oni.” Synox wheezes brokenly. “Thanks....It’s been...a hell...of a ride…” 

Blue does not have time to process the strangeness or intimacy of this statement, because--once again--things are _happening. _Blindingly pink, a lightsaber cuts through the darkness: _Leenik Geelo. _ Swiftly, a figure strikes Zero’s back, lifting him up and off of Synox: _Aava Arek. _ Another one rushes forward, stemming the flow of blood from Synox’ face: _B__acta. _ And yet another rushes to Blue’s side: _Captain Trystan Valentine. _

The captain's face is drawn tight and pale with anxiety, but there is a look of real concern as he scans over Blue's new injuries. “Hey, buddy.” he says, kneeling down to clasp the back of Blue's sticky head. “Looks like we got here just in the nick of time.” 

Blue isn't sure whether he wants to laugh or to cry. “...Could’ve made it before I sustained another _ head injury,_ though.” he replies shakily.

Trystan smirks. “Could’ve.” He agrees casually. “But then, why do that when something like that, when things like _ this _ tend to bring you down a peg?” The captain slides an arm behind Blue’s back, tilting him into a sitting posture.

Blue frowns. The wrinkle of his nose and forehead makes his head ache. “I _ beg _ your pardon.” 

“I’m just saying,” Tryst shrugs. “You’re just as much of a person as the rest of us.” 

It is strange to have the person who had thrown him off of a building--attempting to kill him, and changing his career with a nearly life-ending injury--to pick him up, and carry him gently towards a stretched-out piece of medical transport. Blue is settled into the fabric and his joints are _screaming, _but he can't help but look up at Tryst with surprising gratitude. "...Thank you." 

Tryst simply nods. 

The last sights and sounds that Blue takes in before fading into unconsciousness are chaotic, blurry: Bacta, helping Leenik put Synox into a stretcher; Zero, standing apart from the others; Lyntel, ushering Aava out from the cave._ "What happens now?" _ Blue hears Zero asking Tryst. _“We get back to camp.”_ The captain replies. _“We stabilize him. We let him decide whether or not he wants to go, or become one of us.” _

_ One of us? _

Blue’s forming an argument in his mouth. He’s _ really _ got to tell them that Synox is dangerous; that _ Zero _ is dangerous; that he isn’t sure that _ any _ of them, the Bluebirds, deserve _ forgiveness _ . He wants to talk to Aava: to ask her whatever happened, and why she’d pretended that Syonx was dead. He wants to talk to Zero: him _ most _ of all, in order to tell him that it had all been _ lies. _

But he doesn’t finish. The impact of his new concussion is powerful.

Blue yawns, slumping down against the warm weight of the stretcher behind him. 

>>>

It is daytime when Blue finally wakes up.

The first thing that he notices is that he in a _strange_ bed. _(Why are my specially-ordered sheets not on my bed? _ he ponders grumpily. _ I didn’t spend all those hours designing the Bluebird just so that I could sleep in some ‘troopers barracks!) _The second thing that he notices is the strange tug at the corner of his scalp. Blue stretches and yawns, absently, he reaching up to scratch at the offending object. 

He pulls back with a jerk. _Something attached to my wrist!? _Thinking darkly of the people that he will fire upon rising from bed, Blue opens his eyes. _...Where am I? _The smile slides slowly from his face as he sees the life-drip secured to his hand, the sway of green canvas fabric above him, the salt-crusted post of an emergency shelter. Tastes the salty, marine tang of sea up on his lips. 

_ The ocean. _

It all comes crashing back to Blue in a rush: _ Imperial Order 45. The escape from Command Station. The crash-landing on Iloh. An encounter with the Mynocks. An encounter with Zero. _

_ ZERO. _

Blue groans. He feels a mixture of pleasure, relief, guilt and heartache descending on him in a sudden and overwhelming rush. _Zero...we...he wants me. But….he also…he heard me talking to Synox. He heard all of those asinine things that I said. While I was trying to get out of danger. Heard what I lied. Heard me when I said he meant _ nothing _ to me. _

He drops his head back upon the dense pillow, wishing that he could sink into the fabric and simply just disappear. 

_ Zero. Force. I kriffed it all up. _They had hardly been together for three months. Blue doesn’t know if he can _ survive _ going back to the way things were before: that restrained, professional, _ aching _distance between them, in which there were far too many unspoken words. Blue’s head gives another aching throb. He swivels it side to side, dismissing the pain. _More important things to focus on now. Zero: is he alright? Doe he hate me, now? _He cringes as the image of Zero hovering over Synox, smashing his head repeatedly into the floor, hovers before his eyes. Each time the gank had spattered the dirt floor with blood, his arms had been shaking with _ rage. _But, to his great dismay, he knows that it’s not only the betrayal of Synox that is behind Zero’s aggression. _It was a lie, _ Blue thinks. _ It was all a lie. Help him to see that. _Who he is talking to, Blue hardly knows. But he _ does _ know that endless hours in a hospital bed, with an ever-churning brain such as _ his, _ leads surely and slowly into madness_. __The sooner I get out of here, _ Blue reflects dully, _ the better. I thought I was _ over _ hospital beds. _As if on cue, his old injury gives a painful throb. He inhales, grits his teeth, and waits for the spasm of pain to subside. _ Right. At least, it’s still attached. _And yet--just to be _sure--_he raises the folds of his bedsheet and glances down. It's still there: just as crooked and mangled as always. 

“Little early for that, don’t you think?” Zero asks. “Even _ you _can’t be horny right now.” 

Blue looks up quickly. 

Zero is standing in the doorway of the tent--_ their _tent--with his hands crossed over his chest. His visor seems to be fully dead, as if this latest brawl with Synox has destroyed the final hardware that rolled out expressions. _Not the worst thing, _ Blue thinks fretfully, running his eyes up and down Zero’s mask. _ This way, I don’t have to see the look of disgust while he's looking at me. _

“H-hi.” Blue replies shakily. He drops the bedsheet and lays back against the bed. "N-not doing anything. My leg. Just...checking." His face must be much more readable than Zero’s, because the cyborg heaves a loud, uncomfortable sigh. He draws his organic arm across his chest and rubs at his cybernetic shoulder.

“Mind if I come in?” Zero asks. 

The thought that he has to even ask makes Blue’s stomach feel _ sick. _He swallows thickly, and gestures with one hand to the place next to him. “Please.” Blue replies.He does his best not to make his voice sound too eager. Or _ fearful._

Zero walks over slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed. It’s a strange reversal of what has happened recently _ (Zero, injured by the crash-landing and his fight with Leenik, unconscious upon the bed with Blue at his side), _ and yet, a familiar echo of where they have been _ (Blue, injured after being thrown off the building, unconscious with Zero reading his heartbeat). _The gank must be reading his mind, because Zero says, with a cautious note in his voice:“We’ve _ got _to stop meeting like this.” 

It was meant to be funny. But, somehow, Blue’s eyes begin to leak _tears_. 

“Hey! _ Hey!” _ Zero says, reaching out with both hands to cup at his face. This only serves to make Blue sob _ harder _ : the warm, familiar gesture of his best-friend/ lover/ life-partner’s touch on his skin. The way that he comforts and protects him from all kinds of danger, whether he deserves it or not. ( _ Always: not.) _“_Blue.” _ Zero says with concern. His thumbs trace warm circles in the tears running over his cheekbones. “Hey. _ Buddy. _ C’mon. What’s _ wrong _? Don’t cry…” It doesn’t seem _right _.Zero is _ here. _ Zero is _ kind. _He seems to still showing care for Blue’s well-being, despite the terrible words that he’d said. In the tender way that Zero is brushing curles out from Blue’s sweaty face, it seems as though nothing has even changed. “He’s alright.” Zero says, voice reassuring and steady. “Don’t be sad, Blue! He’s gonna be _fine!”_

_ Who? _This comment strikes Blue as odd. He is unsure what or who Zero is talking about. All that matters is that he is _ here, _with Blue, and that he doesn’t appear to _ hate _him just yet.He sniffs, and Zero searches around for a cloth on the bedside table.“Th-thank you.” Blue says, rubbing the fabric over his running nose and eyes. “Sorry..._ who?” _Zero tilts his head to the side, as if amused. Blue thinks that maybe it’s just his own wishful thinking. 

“Synox.” Zero replies, voice slow and cautious. “...Isn’t that why you are crying? Because you’re...upset with me? For almost _killing_ him?” 

The irony of it makes Blue nearly _laugh; b_ut what comes out is another coughing sob. _I__ don’t deserve him. I don't deserve Zero. _

Zero is clearly reading the distress in his face, because he waves his hands urgently in alarm. “No, wait, don't cry! Like I said, Blue, he’s gonna be _ fine!” _ he drops his hands nervously. “Sy's gonna _ live _ ! Yeah, so, I _did_ beat him up pretty good--and his head injury _does _give yours a run for its credits--but, _apparently_, it turns out that I may have actually mad things...like... _ better _ for him?"

Blue looks up from his towel.

"So! It's all good! _Really!_”

He squints at Zero, blinking uncomprehendingly. “Wha?” Blue shakes his head, trying to clear it of lingering fogginess. _ Probably not the drugs anymore. Probably, now, just repetitive concussions. _“Zero, what are you _ talking _about?” _Better? What could possibly be better right now? _He's not following this. 

Zero looks uncertain. He scratches at the back of his neck. “Well...okay. I don’t really understand it fully. Lyntel and Synox tried to explain it to me, but I don’t really get it."

"Try me," Blue invites.

"Mmm...okay. Remember that..._chip_ that Administration put into all the clone troopers? To make them more docile and obedient, right?”

Blue nods.

Zero hesitates. “Turns out...Defectors like Bacta? They have this..._theory_. It's a little conspiracy, but it seems to line up. You know how Order 66 went down so suddenly, and without much resistance?...Bacta and some of the other, old clone survivors suspect that this Imperial _chip_ has something to _do_ with it. Like: it's a way to _control_ them, inhibiting their primary functioning, and acts as a way to reduce their capacity for making decisions.” 

Blue pushes himself up onto his elbows. _Interesting. _“Okay. But why are we talking about this, Zero?"Yes, Blue _had _ heard about the chips. _S__tandard Imperial Procedure, and all that_. It was not that great of a surprise to him that the Empire had wanted to put a shock-collar on their batch of hybrid killers. But what does this have to do with their current situation?...

“I smashed it.” Zero replies simply. Blue stares at him, uncomprehending. “I smashed Synox' chip!" Zero says. "Not on purpose, of course--I didn’t even realize it was _ there. _ But, apparently: while I was beating him down for threatening you, it seems like I... sorta..destroyed his _behavioral _ _ programming." _Blue raises his eyebrows. "It was a relief to all of the others," Zero continues hurriedly. "Soon as we brought him back to camp, Bacta was _all over _saying how we needed to secure him, kill him, or send him away. He said that, with the chip still activated, Synox was an uncontrollable _danger _to us, and we'd have to make a choice for him about who he wanted to be. But...as it turns out...we didn't have to." Zero looks both embarrassed and pleased with himself. "I broke it. It was was destroyed when I broke the side of his skull earlier. He wasn't _thrilled_, of course; but he didn't know that it had been there in the first place. But now, he's practically _grateful. _ It's like crushing it has unlocked some sort of hinge in his brain. He's been _babbling_ about how he wanted to warn us..." Blue's frown deepens. "...and that '_The nightmare is finally over.'" _

_ Nightmares? Chips? Conspiracy theories? _This is Blue's _favorite_ kind of political intrigue; but it will have to _wait_.He has other immediate things to attend to. Blue looks up at Zero with terrifying concern. _Did I lose him? _He wants so badly to just stretch out his hand, grasp onto the palm that is resting inches from his fingers. He doesn't know where they stand, it it makes his heart ache nearly as much as his injured head. 

“Anyway." Zero continues. "It wasn't easy, waking him up. Synox was pretty confused, _especially _when he saw the Mynock kids. But then, it seemed like he was coming out of a heavy dream. Bacta helped him through it...sounds like he's had a similar kind of experience, back in his own day. It was good of him to be there to talk Synox through it all, especially when he had questions about the past several months. It seems like the Moff activated his chip for Order 45, and so he doesn't remember much, including when he pulled a blaster on Aava..." 

The name suddenly and sharply jars in Blue's thoughts. He throws his hands into the air, waving them to shush Zero hurriedly. “AAVA!” he interrupts loudly. “See? You _ see? _ I _ knew _there was something that she was keeping from us!” 

Zero nods in agreement. “Oh yeah, for certain! While Sy was out, we had at a _ lot _ to talk about, Aav and me. Not only did she _ lie _ to us to protect Synox back on the ship, but she also _ knew _ when we landed on Iloh that Leenik and the others were _here. _She's really been carrying around a _lot, _trying to help everybody stay safe and protected.” 

Blue feels his jaw drop open. “She--Aava--_ what?” _Even if his brain _ wasn’t _ hurting bad enough to burst from his skull, the amount of revelations today are staggering. 

“Yeah.” Zero says. He sits back in his chair, crossing his arms loosely. “Sounds like Synox did come and find her, after the Order was released. And he _was _trying to kill us. But he seemed..._troubled _to Aava. He kept going back and forth with his conversation, as if he was talking to someone inside of his head, before trying to warn her that she was in danger. In the end, when he eventually _did_ pull his blaster on her, Aava was ready for him. She stunned Sy, burned him with her lightsaber, made it look like he had simply failed in his mission to kill her. She didn't want him to be terminated." 

“_Kriff.” _

“Yeah, man, I _ know! _And, get this: you know how Aava is just so...good? She’s..._better _than us. Aava did all of this because she says that Synox is _family. _That _we're _a family. She didn’t want to kill Sy, after everything taht we had been through together. So she just told us that it was done, and figured that by the time we all found out, he’d be too far away to hurt us, and we'd be too far away to hurt him." 

Blue chews on his lower lip in amazement. "She _is _better than us." He agrees. "Trying to do the right thing. Trying to save other people instead of herself." 

“Yeah.” Zero agrees. “When it came down to choosing between them and me…” he sighs heavily. “Not all of us can be like Aava.” 

Blue closes his eyes. _Nor I. _The weariness of the past few months crashes down upon him all at once, like one of the foaming waves upon the beach. Blue feels the fear of crash-landing, surviving, and dying; the dread of the Empire’s ruthless pursuits; the wariness of the Mynocks and their motives; the tense excitement of his romance with Zero; the grief of Synox’ betrayal and death; the strangeness of starting his life all over again. He doesn’t mean to let the noise out of his mouth; but Blue groans. He crumples, falls back against the bed, wondering how things could get to be any more of a burden. 

"Blue. It's okay." Zero murmurs. "I'm here. I'm right here with you." Blue shudders slightly as Zero's leathery knuckles stroke over his brow. He wasn't sure that he'd _ever _feel his touch again. Despite the roiling guilt in his stomach, Blue savors the familiar, comforting feeling of being petted beneath Zero's hands. It wipes away some of the stress, but emphasizes others. 

Finally, he can no longer wait. 

“Zero…” 

There is an anxious, gross pressure inside of his chest. _You'll lose him. You've already lost him, Adnau. _Blue clears his throat. He feels, rather than sees, Zero maintaining their connection through the contact of his hand upon Blue's head. “Oni. _Listen_. I’m...I’m _ sorry _about what I said in the cave."His eyes crack open as Zero's hand pulls away. Blue feels his gut flipping over, growing tense, as Zero tucks his hands beneath his armpits. _Uncomfortable. _Knowing that has already done the worst of it, and that he owes Zero to push through the discomfort, Blue continues onward. "I'm sorry. It was wrong. All of it. I didn't mean it." Zero shrugs his shoulders. He looks as though he wants to interrupt, but nods for Blue to continue. “Thanks. Zero, even though I didn’t mean any of it...it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t _ hurtful. _ I’m...I’ve been... _ hurtful _ for such a long time. I was, and have been, for many years, trying to save my own skin. By putting you, and other aliens down. I was afraid... I _am _afraid of who I am. I don’t want to be seen as disgusting, or to be rejected. I want people to _like_ me, Zero. To be _proud_ of me. I want them to know who I am, and that I mean something important to the Empire." 

Blue takes a shaking inhale of breath. 

“Anyways: I have been selfish. I _was _selfish. To _you. _Back in that cave? And back at the Gala? I was trying to look out for _me_. To protect _myself_. But what I said, what I’ve done in that effort...it’s..._inexcusable_.” The tears are coming back to his eyes. _Get through it. He has the right to know. _“I believed it all, once." Blue continues. "I believed that putting other people down would keep me safe; that it would keep a distance between myself and the powerful people. But you know what? It only made them stronger, and everybody else _weaker. _And now I _ don’t _ believe that anymore. I _ don’t _ think that hurting anyone--especially someone who has already had to fight for their rights as a citizen, or just a living _person_\--should have to take the brunt of that fear. It was wrong, and I have been wrong. I am sorry." 

Blue feels like his throat is closing up. _Finish. _

_"_The propaganda that I made was _garbage. _Aliens are _not _less than humans. In fact: Aava Arek? _Yourself? _You are so, so much _better _than me. Then I ever _could _be." Blue gulps, steeling himself. “I know that I don’t deserve a second chance, Zero. And I...I won’t beg for you to forgive me. I just want you to hear me apologize, and to say this, because you deserve to know..."Tears are running down his cheekbones in earnest now. They drip down his nose, drop onto the blankets. "You d-deserve to know that, despite all my flaws, and all my arrogance and stupidity...you mean _everything _to me, Oni. _Everything." _He closes his eyes, gives a shaking breath: 

_ “I love you.” _The words fall from his lips. “I love you, Zero. With _everything. _With all of my selfish, broken, _human_ heart.” 

It is a great effort not to collapse into a puddle. Blue simultaneously feels as though he has been burned alive, and doused with the most refreshing drink of water. It is not unlike his first revelation upon the shuttle, pulling away from Starkiller Base: _Exposed. Heart-aching. F__ree. _“That’s the best I can give you." he finishes weakly. "Along with my promise that I will...I will _respect your choices_. No matter _ what _ you decide.” _Inhale. Exhale. _“Even if that means being done with me, _forever._ Even if that means choosing to go your own way, solo, for _good._ I would...I will be okay with that. Because...your life matters, Zero. You are _ worth _it. So, so worth it." Blue is trembling. “Even if I’ve been _kriff_ all these years about showing you that." 

The hissing sound of Zero’s helmet makes Blue look up.

His heart jumps into his throat as he sees that the cyborg is removing his mask, unsheathing his face at the hinges.As the now-familiar face is revealed, he can see that Zero’s dark, lovely, organic eye is shining with moisture. His muzzle is twisted into a watery smile, and he is doing the closest to a physical impression of “_ heart-eyes” _that Blue has ever seen. “Aw, kiddo.” Zero leans forward with heartbreaking tenderness, drawing Blue's face close to his own. “You’re really growing up these days...” Blue gives an annoyed, relieved, laughing sob as Zero strokes down the back of his head. His hands, so comforting now in their touch, curl at the base of his skull and stroke through his hair. Zero bumps his flattened nose against Blue’s own, breathes his breath against his breath. “...Thank you." he murmurs, dryly kissing Blue’s lips. “Thank you, Blue, for saying that.” His hands move down from Blue’s head to rest on his shoulders. "You are right: I _did _need to hear that. But I hadn't _expected..._of course, I'd hoped..." His complex, beautiful face smiles with genuine pleasure. "Thank you. For showing me the True Blue." 

Blue flushes deeply, remembering his words upon the balcony of the Imperial Gala. “Y-you don’t _ hate _ me?” he stammers. He feels his own tears clinging to Zero’s long eyelashes. 

Zero chuckles. “Man! Of _ course _ I do, Blue! But. I also _ love _ you.”He kisses Blue gently again, tenderly, lips brushing over lips. “You awful, ignorant, pretentious _bastard_. I love you, _so much, _and I’m _ never _ letting you go. _Never." _Blue finds himself at a place between sobbing and smiling as Zero kisses into him again. "And that’s _ my _ choice.” 

_It's a start,_ Blue thinks, remembering Aava Arek's words. _It's the start of something that we will continue to work on. The start of something that, over time, will get better and better. Because: Zero loves me. And I: I love him. _

As Zero crawls into the medical bed with him, and Blue shifts to make room for both of their bodies, he sighs deeply and soundly into Zero's chest. _We will keep working on it. We will continue to choose each other--to fail--and to choose one another again. __Because it is worth it. This love is worth fighting for. _

>>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clone Wars provided the Dio Ex Machina for Synox. I could not for the life of me figure out how Sy would choose to be a part of the rebellion given his existing personality...so here's to hoping that removing the chip gave him the opportunity to truly become someone new! What do you think? Let me know. 
> 
> One final chapter to go!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue reflects upon what comes from choosing the 'losing side.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of this particular story! Thanks for sticking with me.

>>>

Blue inhales the thick curl of steam that is rolling off his fresh mug of kaff. _Too long, _ he thinks dreamily as he lifts the rim to his mouth. _ It’s been FAR too long since we’ve been back together..._He savors the scalding-hot liquid as it runs past his lips and burns at his soft palate. 

“_F__orce. _ I _ hate _ it that I have to compete with a _ non-sentient beverage _ for your affections.” Zero quips from his side.The gank is still wearing the same loose, white t-shirt that he’d worn to bed; and the combination with his sleek, repaired helmet is both comically lazy and lethal. 

“Zero.” Blue murmurs over his kaff. His eyelids are hanging heavy and low. “Don’t be _ absurd. _ You _ know _ that kaff will _ always _come first in my life!” 

Zero yawns and stretches. His hairy, muscular forearms rasp over the smooth tabletop of the Mynock’s kitchen. “Yeah, I know. I’ve made my peace with it long ago. He glances hopefully at the clone hovering in front of the stove. “Bacta. Any chance I can sneak some of that bacon before the others get here?” 

The clone turns to face them. He is wearing the same crop-top and jean shorts that he’d favored so much while living upon Iloh. _(It seems as though it has been harder for some of them to let go of their former, vacation lifestyle than it has been for others.) _“No.” Bacta replies stubbornly. He points an egg-coated spatula at Zero. “If you want the good fixings, you’re gonna have to wait just like _ everybody else _ around here. _ ” _

Zero groans in hungry despair. 

_ “Relax!” _ Blue laughs, patting Zero on the back reassuringly. “Just give them a minute. They’ll get here _ eventually _ . Besides, I don’t even think that Synox _ can _ sleep yet, given the lesai withdrawals. He at least should be joining us soon.” Zero considers him with an emoji somewhere between cross and amazed. (_Blue takes a moment to feel impressed with his own genius at the improvements to his fractured helmet. Once back upon the ship, it has been almost _ too _ easy to repair his cybernetics. Presently. Zero’s mechanics are functioning at a higher percentage than ever before.) _

“...Keep drinking that, Blue.” Zero suggests. “I have a sneaking suspicion that _ kaff _is going to be what delivers us safely to the Rebellion stronghold.” 

“Ha-ha._ ” _Blue replies tonelessly.

“Or, at least: with our _ sanity _ still in tact.” 

Blue sticks out his tongue. “Oh, _ do _ keep going, Zero! You’re just so _ witty. _ Maybe, if you-- _ ” _

“--_Force!" _ Bacta interrupts. He drops a grease-dripping plate of bacon upon the table in front of them. “If it will keep you two from quarreling like an _old married couple,_ then just _take_ it already!” 

Zero grins, digging in his claws cheerfully. Bacta shakes his head and walks away. 

It has been two weeks since the crew had returned to the Mynock. Two weeks on the float, and several committed decisions into their reckless mission of teaming up with the Rebel Alliance. After making contact with the sketchy-as-kriff Zara Zoacite (_at least, in Blue's opinion),_ the Mynocks had set their coarse for Yavin 4: hidden military base of the rebel alliance. As it sounds, the Rebels are _very _interested in hearing what information that Blue, Aava, Synox and Zero have to reveal about Starkiller Base; as well as how they might apply the various abilities of the Mynock crew into their cause. 

There is a soft knock on the threshold of the kitchen doorway, and Captain Tryst Valentine comes walking in. He is wearing a silky, pink sleeping kimono, and it makes a soft swishing noise as it pulls over his thighs. 

"Good morning, all!" Tryst sings. He pauses to kiss Bacta upon the cheek (_making him blush furiously). _"Got yourselves some sleep? And do I smell.._bacon?!" _He peeks around the clone-doctor to stare at the stove. Trystan Valentine is going to serve the Rebellion as a pilot. Because the Mynock is not built for combat, he will be trading out his cozy piloting of their home-ship for something more within the b-wing style. At this time, Tryst seems very excited to get "his hands dirty" and "in on the action;" and the man cannot _stop _talking about his previous adventures and brushes with near-death situations. "What's the special occasion?" Tryst asks, nuzzling against Bacta's cheek. 

"Landing today," Bacta grunts, pushing the eggs around in the pan. Bacta is going to serve the Rebel Alliance doing what he does best: _cooking. _The clone had expected to put himself into the military service, but thorough conversation and training with Synox revealed that only _one _of the clones was yet unscarred by the haunting memories of battle. While Synox would help train, lead and dispatch Rebellion troops, Bacta would keep them all healthy and fed. In time, he even wants to explore the intersection between nourishing and medicinal foods; maybe create some kind of meal that serves wit the same, healing qualities of his namesake. 

Lyntel'luroon enters into the kitchen, yawning and scratching a flash of exposed, copper skin. "Smells _great, _Bacta." She says, patting the clone on his muscular shoulder. "Budge up there, you." She adds to Blue, pushing at him and sliding into the seat next to them. Lyn plans to serve as a researcher, archivist, and overall scientific professional for the Rebellion Alliance. Her ties with the network are old and extensive, and she can put her knowledge of many different plants, moons and histories to good use as the Rebels expand their community to the outer rims of the galaxy. (_The Rebels had also offered Lyn the opportunity to be a fighter pilot, given her own capabilities with the Myonck; however, she had politely declined, and had offered instead to be a peaceful negotiator in conflicts). _"Did you say we were landing today?" the Twi'lek woman asks. She plucks the piece of bacon between Zero's forefinger and thumb and crunches into it with relish. "It would be _so good _to get dirt underneath my boots again." 

Bacta comes over to the table with his platter of scrambled eggs, sausages, and fried green tomatoes. "That's what she said." Bacta shrugs _(also drawing out a salacious grin from Trystan's face). _"I don't trust Zara, but I _do _trust the coordinates that she gave us for our nav system. KAT is the very best. She has yet to steer us astray."

The crew around the table nods with agreement. 

"So long as you give her _cooking _instructions." Blue says, spearing a slice of tomato. "Seriously. What kind of ship _has _that sort of faulty equipment? When I was working for the Empire--"

Everybody turns to look at Blue. Zero projects a face-palm emoji. 

_"...Nevermind."_ Blue mutters, hiding his face behind his mug of kaff. 

Leenik and Aava spare him from further embarrassment as they step through the doors of the kitchen. Aava has one arm around the Rodian's shoulders; Leenik is talking with her animatedly while waving around the latest Neimoidian Sparks novel. "--and in record time, too!" He is saying, blinking happily at Aava. "You would _think _that getting kidnaped, hauled around by our crew, and abandoned on the mainland would have done something to _damper_ his literary output. But instead, he goes ahead and writes the _whole kriffing thing _before we even reach Yav!" Aava smiles affectionately back at him. She ruffles a hand through his fronds, then joins the rest of the crew at the table.

"G'morning, all." She says in greeting. She scoots in next to Lyntel, dropping her chin onto the palm of her hand. "I see that Blue's been reunited with his _true love?"_

Blue grins. Zero groans. "Just got the unit all fixed up last night!" Blue replies happily, slurping from his cup. "I think it was the second series of heaters. Either way," he toasts her warmly, "we now have _civilization _aboard." Aava smirks.

"Just in time for our landing, then." She replies. Aava Arek will continue to train the Force-users. According to Zara, there is at least _one _surviving Jedi among the Rebel ranks, and many other Force-sensitive beings besides. She has expressed interest in continuing to learn more about the Light Side of the Force with Tamlin and Leenik; but, also, her desire to balance that new power with her old knowledge of the Night Sisters. (_She will make a valuable and highly competent leader in their ranks, _Blue is certain.)

Blue pulls a face. "If this _really _is the 'right side of history,' then they _have _to own a kaff dispenser." He looks quickly at Zero. "Right, Oni? They _will _have a kaff machine, won't they?!" He stares at Zero with poorly-veiled desperation. 

Zero shrugs his cybernetic shoulders. "Guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, Adnau." The rest of their family laughs. 

When Tamlin and Tony come bounding into the room (_"We were feeding the lizards! Save us some bacon!!"),_ Blue knows that it is time for himself and Zero to create space. He makes his apologies, pushes his way up from the table, and squeezes his way towards the door. Like the rest of the ship, the tiny kitchen of the Mynock is cramped, and yet, _quaint. _It is decorated with charming, homey features, such as spices and flowers pouring from hanging pots on the ceiling; little arrangements of teacups on hooks of the cabinets; a scrawling artwork that declares _What's Mynock Is Yournock!. _It's no _Bluebird; _and yet, Blue still thinks that, somehow, he will still miss this. 

"You okay, buddy?" The doorway of their room swishes open before them. Zero places a heavy hand upon Blue's shoulder, drawing him back against his warm chest. "Still feeling ready for this?" 

Blue sighs heavily. He reclines his back against Zero's thick chest, allowing himself to be fully supported by his best friend / non-employed bodyguard / life-partner. "No. Yes. Kinda." He tilts his chin to look up at Zero. "I have..._no idea,_ actually."

Zero nods with understanding. It makes the base of his helmet bump gently against Blue's upturned brow. "Yeah. Me neither." he admits. 

Blue pats at Zero's hand where it rests upon his shoulder, then pulls away, walking towards their bed. So much has changed in these past few months: his employment; his ideology; his _relationship status_. Blue has seen himself go through numerous transformations--and, as he has tried each one on, he has been required to start his life over and over again. Questions such as _W__ho am I? _and _W__hat is my worth? _seem to be constantly floating at the back of his mind. On late nights, when sleep evades him and he cannot answer them, he joins Synox in the training cabin to pass such mysteries back and forth. _What does it make me, if I can be undone and re-done again? Where do I belong? What if I have been making the wrong choices?_

"You're quiet." Zero states. He flops down on the bed, laying cross-ways so that his knees fall off the opposite side. "What's on your mind, Blue?" 

_So much, _Blue thinks. 

Zero chuckles, surprising him. "Just start somewhere," he says, as if he can read Blue's thoughts as easily as Blue reads his body language. "Might as well make use of these last few hours." 

Blue sits on the edge of the mattress. He picks absently at a hole that's been recently torn into the bedsheets. "What if this doesn't..._work_?" He tries to keep the anxiety out of his voice. But, as usual, Zero sees right through him. The gank rolls on his side, carefully studying Blue from behind his darkened mask. 

"...Work_?"_

"This plan. This mission. This..._Rebellion." _Blue flops to his side, facing Zero.Their bodies point in opposite directions, but their noses are only inches apart. "It's all so futile, Zero. _Rejecting the Empire? Seeking a better cause? _There's no chance in the _Force _that we have enough people, ammo, or even _hope _to get us through this accursed battle." Zero studies him, listening. "We can hardly even call it a _war." _Blue continues grimly. He spreads his hands. "We are out-numbered, out-ranked, out-trained, out-_planned. _We are going into this...this..._teenager rebellion _without anything more than our _feelings _that things should be better than the way that they are. There are too many _obstacles, _Zero! Too many people with power and privilege! If we have to turn and face all of _Them _who are chasing after us...we might as well just be so much _asteroid dust_!" Blue hadn't meant to get himself so worked up, but he feels his pulse pounding in his chest. He raises a hand to his forehead, wiping at the sheen of cold sweat that has appeared there. "Um. Sorry. I suppose that I...I should be more..." 

Zero unlatches the corner notch of his helmet. 

With a hiss, the metal plating slides off of his face. He is there, looking at him with the same tenderness as usual. Blue gives a shaky exhale of breath as he sets aside the shell of his mask, presses his lovely, dark nose against Blue's pale, freckled one. "Don't do the _shoulds _again, Blue." Zero gently admonishes, bringing their foreheads together as well. "It's strange. It's new. It's _scary. _There is nothing wrong with calling a thing like it is." 

Blue gives a shaky laugh, and Zero smiles against his skin. "D-don't have a ton of practice with that, I'm afraid."

Zero hums, and they rest there together. Then: "It's going to be alright." He opens his eyes. Zero is gazing at him with such tenderness that makes his heart stutter. _Loyalty. Forgiveness. Affection. _His dark, organic eye has a slight sheen of moisture over its golden iris, and his various cybernetics whistle softly as air and fluids rush through them. He raises one clawed, leather-clad hand to stroke at the side of Blue's fragile skin. "It's going to be alright. As long as we are all together, we'll be alright. If we're together, we've already _won." _

Blue gives him a confused look. Zero traces his thumb over one of his constellations of freckles. "Don't you get it? So long as we are together, we _can't _lose." He releases gives a trembling exhale as Zero touches their lips softly together. "We've already won the war..." he murmurs. "...And now? We just get to kick some _serious_ ass. As the space-cherry on top." 

Once again, Blue finds himself at a place dangerously precarious between laughing and crying.

He scoots himself up and folds himself over, so that his body is now aligned with the direction of Zero's. The gank reaches out--_forever his protector_\--and pulls Blue into his chest. Blue sighs, nestling into the familiar feeling of their heartbeats syncing together, their breathes aligning in a familiar hush. "_Join the Rebellion_," Blue chuckles weakly into Zero's chest. "_We've got hot aliens, and plenty of kaff!" _

Zero purrs with amusement at Blue's imitation of his former Imperial recruiting commercials. "_Very _hot aliens." He agrees, petting the back of Blue's head. "And not too shabby within the human department, either." 

Blue grins, pressing his watery face into Zero's familiar warmth.

He doesn't know what he ever did to deserve this; he doesn't know why the Force has given him this second chance at life. All he knows is that if he had to go back and choose to lose everything, just to win Zero's heart: he would do it again, and again, and _again_.

>>>

END 

>>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best to make this a love-letter to all of the things I liked best about SW Campaign. I'll always miss these characters, and I've loved 'spending more time with them' as I've worked my way through this defector au. Thanks for all of your comments and feedback. Until next time: may the force be with you, always.


	11. Afterward: Beforehand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I lied. Here's a hint of prologue for our epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Blue takes his changes with Zero after the Gala, he has to decide if it's just more of his lies, or if Blue is truly up to more than his regular propaganda...

**>>>**

**  
**

**EPILOGUE / PROLOGUE **

**  
**

**>>>**

**  
**

Agent Zero is walking away.

Blue is standing in front of his door at the Hotel MariHutt, and he is watching his best-friend/lover-bodyguard walking away from him, leaving him just _standing_ there, and he has _no idea_ if he will ever see him again. After all; he’d gotten _this close _to quitting earlier in the night.

Blue is going to _lose_ him.

He _cannot _lose him.

“Zero! _Wait!” _Blue hisses into the dark. He wonders if all of his yearning and anxiety is leaking out from the tone of his words, the posture of his shoulders.

His bodyguard turns. He studies Blue, impassive behind his mask. “I’m waiting.” He replies coolly.

Blue chews at his lip. _(He is terrified. He hates vulnerability)._ Gulping dryly, he does his best to speak into the night; because he knows what is at stake. He knows what he has to do, or else, Zero will soon walk out of his life _forever. _ “T-there is s-something t-that I need to say to you.”

Unmoved, Zero gestures impatiently. “Then _say it!” _He snaps. 

He does not look like he wants to tolerate _any_ more of Blue’s lies. The gank is standing tall and confident: squared shoulders, self-assured, both ready and_ willing _to walk away from him and into a newer, softer life.

“This is your chance, Blue. Just: _say what you mean.”_

Cringing about what he must do, Blue inhales a shaking breath.

"I c-can't live w-without you," he exhales, hardly daring to breathe. 

The silence after the admission is tense. For a moment, Blue is unsure if Zero hears him. The bodyguard is gazing at him with that ever-dark mask, keeping his feelings from being revealed behind dark transparisteel. _But what would he say, even if he could? _Blue wonders. _There’s not like there is an emoji for this kind of situation! _But he is not looking at Blue without all-out rejection, or disdain. In fact, he is studying him—as if he is running a careful analysis, and measuring him as a man. As a person.

"…Say that…_again_?" Zero asks quietly. His voice is low, careful; and the sound of it stirs something inside Blue’s nervous heart. He can Blue can detect a kind of anxiety there, but he can also sense a startling level of _confidence_; a kind of gentle commanding that Blue feels _compelled_ to answer, despite all his fears. He wants to go to Zero: to fling his arms around him, rest his head against his chest, and to be free of all of the pressures and worries and _expectations _of the galaxy. 

"I c-can’t _live without you_." Blue repeats breathlessly. 

It's the truest, most saccharine words that he’s ever spoken to Zero; and they slip _far_ too easily past his lips. They tumble away from him, forever exposing him for the fragile, broken thing that he is, who has longed after and pined for the other for so long. Blue blames it on the cherry mimosas. He blames it on _himself_. For _waiting_ so long. Now that his feelings have pulled free, Blue can hardly stop himself. It’s as though the pipeline between his head and his heart have been broken. All of the long pent-up feelings are pouring out of him now, and he cannot stop it. 

“Zero, _please _don’t go! I _need _you. I _want _you! I c-can’t _live without you!”_

It sounds pathetic, even to him; but it's _real. _And he's _putting it out there, _just like Zero wanted. If he gets rejected, _fine: _there is nothing left for him to lose. But if he doesn't...on the off chance that Zero feels all of these things for him, too...

“Please…come back over here…_and..." _

Zero crosses the space between them rapidly. In one moment, Blue is standing before his door, wringing his hands; in the next Zero has picked him up and _slammed _him into the door, suspending him by just the grip of his cybernetic hand. 

"And _what?!" _Zero snarls. 

He is _shaking_. 

"_T-touch_ _me!"_ Blue gasps, hands scrabbling against the pressure of his powerful hold. "Kiss me. _Fuck_ me. _Something!!"_

_I may have just lost my **mind**! _He thinks wildly as the words rush out of his mouth and straight to his groin. Blue can feel himself growing hard beneath Zero's bruising grip, and it is with mingled horror and affection that he sees the gank drawing their hips even _closer _together. His ebony claws dig into and tear at his new, finely-tailored suit, but Blue doesn't find himself seeming to mind. 

"How do I know that this isn't some kind of _trap_?" Zero growls, running his hands down Blue's body with _delicious _aggression. "I swear to _god_, Blue, if this is just another mouthful of your _propaganda..._" 

He wants to make an innuendo, but thinks better of it. Zero is _serious _right now; and he's closer to ripping Blue into _shreds _than he's ever been before. So he waits until his bodyguard/best-friend/life-partner's breath has settled down, and his grip has begun to release, before he speaks again. Zero loosens his grip; and the second that he does, Blue throws himself against the other man. If he cannot _say _what he means, by _kriff, _he can _show _him. 

"...You _don't." _ he replies with all honestly. 

And then, he _crushes _their bodies together. 

Zero grunts as their bodies collide. In a rush, Blue realizes that he is not the _only _one who is hard: Zero's long, _thick _erection is pushing against the plum fabric of his suit, and Blue has to bite his lip not to _gasp _at the headiness of the feeling that fills him upon that realization. Digging his fingernails into Zero's shoulders, he begins to move with intention against him: a hot, _needing _friction that builds from his core and up towards his pounding chest. _Yes. I **have** lost my mind, _he thinks, grinding against him to create heat and tension. _But, if I had to choose it, I'd do it again. Better than loosing **Zero**. _And--as Zero makes a sound that Blue _thinks _sounds favorable, he marvels at the _rightness_ of it. The _glorious_ heat of the close embrace. The _perfection _of being held and surrounded by Zero--Blue wonders dazedly why they haven't done this in the _first _place. 

That's when it all comes rushing back to him: this is _Zero. _He is his _alien. bodyguard. _Blue is a high-ranking _Minister of the Empire. _One that has just returned from the _Imperial Gala, _and who has a _lot _of first-impressions to make up for tomorrow. 

But that is..._tomorrow. _This is..._right now. _And right now: Zero _wants _him. 

Zero is **_not_** _leaving him. _

When the gank begins to groan and tug at the seal of his helmet, Blue feels an electric jolt of excitement rush up his spine. _We are going to take this further! _he thinks breathlessly. _This is--**we **are--this is actually, finally going to go somewhere! _

As if he is reading his mind, Zero reaches for Blue's hand. But he does not hold it, does not kiss it tenderly; instead, he presses his long fingertips into the panel upon the doorway, and it swishes open at Blue's fingerprint-sensitive seal. 

"Guess I'll just have to take my chances." Zero growls, pushing Blue over the threshold. 

  


**>>>**

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'll be honest: I really needed to round off my 40,000 words (my clinical OCD would NOT allow me to leave this fic at 39400, no matter HOW much time passed). This isn't exactly the way that I would ideally want things to go down between the pair, but I think it's more likely than the other fluffy piece that I'm writing about the Gala Night. Let me know what you think please!! And, thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Please leave a comment and/or kudos if you have the time. <3


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